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  1. Games

Most hateful, baffling comments of E3 2014

Features
By GamesRadar Staff published 13 June 2014

When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Here’s how it works.

Everybody just CALM DOWN

Everybody just CALM DOWN

What is it about the Internet that turns ordinary people into raving lunatics? We may never truly know--but whenever humanity starts that research in earnest, we've got plenty of data to refer back to. E3 2014 has officially come and gone, bringing many awesome game announcements, reveals, and demos along with it. But, as is always the case, there's just no pleasing some people. All we can really do is round up these curmudgeons' insane reactions and have a good laugh at them.

We've trolled around the Internet--specifically our many articles covering E3 2014 games, Facebook outbursts, and YouTube comments--to find the most outrageous, vile, or straight-up nonsensical statements this side of the world wide web. Are these reactions to this year's E3 announcements in any way justified? You be the judge. (But no, they're not.)

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Page 1 of 51

--Jonathon M., uninterested in Halo 5: Guardians

Page 2 of 51
Page 2 of 51

--RatedRLoquender, relaying what his friends told him about Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain (maybe they all played debug builds of the game already?)

Page 3 of 51
Page 3 of 51

--Emiliano F., positively dumbfounded at why Assassin's Creed Unity exists

Page 4 of 51
Page 4 of 51

"This franchise has become such a joke. Call of Duty Halo Recon: Crysis Shadowfall."

--Jacob S., nicknaming the latest Call of Duty title

Page 5 of 51
Page 5 of 51

"The game is stupid , whebifbebejhdebfih lara croft tomb raider is the best not lara croft"

--Mahir E. K., reacting to Rise of the Tomb Raider and seemingly experiencing a stroke mid-sentence

Page 6 of 51
Page 6 of 51

"TB said this garbage doesn't run at 60 FPS so no buy."

--LoCaD, in response to The Order: 1886

Page 7 of 51
Page 7 of 51

--Bobby Soup, perhaps secretly jealous of Faith's freerunning in the new Mirror's Edge

Page 8 of 51
Page 8 of 51

--Dan S., comparing apples and oranges in relation to Star Fox on Wii U

Page 9 of 51
Page 9 of 51

"--you could save your money
--by
--cutting out a small 2"x9"x13" block of wood(and painting it black)
--sit it out and watch the dust collect on it
--and say to yourself
--"so thats how much dust my wiiU would collect"

--GamesRadar commenter extraordinaire Grady_McAlister, providing an alternative to the Sony's PS Vita, said in a way only he can say it

Page 10 of 51
Page 10 of 51

--Carlos B., on this year's Microsoft press conference

Page 11 of 51
Page 11 of 51

"if giving handjobs was looked at as normal as giving a handshake in this world, then i would definitely give you a handjob. thanks man"

--JoeyTheBrave, giving the developers of No Man's Sky the most confusing compliment(?) ever

Page 12 of 51
Page 12 of 51

"This is a disgrace.... I cannot fathom this being even REMOTELY entertaining for people that are above the age of 12.... Unless those individuals are specially handicapped, and love repetition and long hours of fast-walking around someones attempt at making a good map for others to delve into. Seriously, what the fuck Fable devs? Is there a disease going around your offices? Named.... Mediocrity?"

--Kole K., reacting to the gameplay reveal of Fable Legends

Page 13 of 51
Page 13 of 51

"I hate those mini cutscenes too. I mean cutscenes are good, make me rest my hands for a while but for the love of God don't overdo it. Plus those black bars/widescreen are really putting me off. I'd rather have a 900p or even 720p game and then full screen rather than a 1080p game with 280 of pixels are just black and rendering no picture at all."

--aaron-aquipel-avelino, with a decent point to make regarding The Order: 1886's cinematic style

Page 14 of 51
Page 14 of 51

--mistaflake, simultaneously making a misogynistic statement AND an endorsement of bird-centric beastiality (if you stop and think about it for a second) regarding The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

Page 15 of 51
Page 15 of 51

"Nintendo is the biggest LOSER for this years E3 2014 and following XBOX 1 as well.. I will never buy the Wii-U and Nintendo needs to GTFO out of the gaming business.. Sheezus their game graphics still look the same like it did in 1987..... LOSERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"

--Tony B., who miraculously discovered the Wii U's HD graphics in 1987

Page 16 of 51
Page 16 of 51

--matt40405, observing how human speech works in Tales of Xillia 2

Page 17 of 51
Page 17 of 51

--Dave M., who has managed to condense Rise of the Tomb Raider into one teasing phrase

Page 18 of 51
Page 18 of 51

--Flex J., informing the world that he won't be purchasing Battlefield Hardline

Page 19 of 51
Page 19 of 51

--Michael E., opposed to No Man's Sky's endless space exploration

Page 20 of 51
Page 20 of 51

--winner2, who wants nothing to do with Star Fox or its barrel rolls

Page 21 of 51
Page 21 of 51

--ADEspadas, posing a somewhat valid (if grammatically incorrect) question about the anatomy of the fighters in the Mortal Kombat X roster

Page 22 of 51
Page 22 of 51

--Pichu647, accurately describing what would happen if film director Michael Bay were to watch the Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare trailer

Page 23 of 51
Page 23 of 51

"We had to include this one just to be safe. READ ! This isnt fake. apparently, if u copy and paste this to ten comments in the next ten minutes u will have the best day of ur life tomorrow. u will either get kissed or asked out, if u break this chain u will see a little dead girl in your room tonight. in 53 mins someone will say i love you or im sorry"

--Daniel A., cursing you with the power of Internet chain letters (that have absolutely nothing to do with E3 2014)

Page 24 of 51
Page 24 of 51

"Nimtendo said they were going to make thw biggest baddst zelda game ever and this is it? April fools day was a couple of months ago guys"

--Joel S., fan of Nintendo and hater of Nimtendo

Page 25 of 51
Page 25 of 51

--Mysteryblocks, responding to Yoshi's Woolly World. Is this a primal expression of happiness? Sadness? Anger? We honestly have no idea

Page 26 of 51
Page 26 of 51
A blast from the hateful past

A blast from the hateful past

E3 happens once a year, and there will always be a community of zealous gamers spewing forth ludicrous reactions to the games of the show. Want to relive all the craziness we witnessed this time last year? Click on for a taste of E3 2013's most absurd, scathing comments (that sound even crazier--or perhaps prophetic--one year later).

If, for whatever bizarre reason, you wanted a throwback to the days of gamers ridiculing the Xbox One, this is definitely it. But don't worry--these commenters are also equal-opportunity haters.

Page 27 of 51
Page 27 of 51

--Clifton A, regarding the Wii U

Page 28 of 51
Page 28 of 51

"That's y Nintendo is garbage they are all about money and saying screw u fans just like microsoft" --Joseph M, referencing the Nintendo Direct

Page 29 of 51
Page 29 of 51

--Tim M, from an article about PS4

Page 30 of 51
Page 30 of 51

--Daz B, was asked what his favorite part of E3 was

Page 31 of 51
Page 31 of 51

"Oh cant wait for Sonys network to go down again, and again die, come back, hacked, die, again." Diego L, regarding the PS3 bricking update

Page 32 of 51
Page 32 of 51

--Chris O, pretty self explanatory

Page 33 of 51
Page 33 of 51

"im trying to figure why gamesradar just went fullretard posting up a xfailone game." --Mark H, in an article specifically about Xbox One games

Page 34 of 51
Page 34 of 51

--John M, totally out of left field, must have just wanted to be a part of the conversation somehow

Page 35 of 51
Page 35 of 51

--Andrew H, from a PC games from E3 list

Page 36 of 51
Page 36 of 51

"The update has been rectified ,Should work fine now, Still better than crapbox lmfao" --Sergio C, regarding the PS3 bricking update

Page 37 of 51
Page 37 of 51

"What idiots. Why not just do that in the first place!?!?! Always trying to take advantage of consumers. That's Microsoft for ya. In It for their pockets" --Christopher M, regarding Xbox DRM changes

Page 38 of 51
Page 38 of 51

"And One does not simply buy an Xbox One without looking incredibly foolish in the process." --Paul S, in an article about Xbox price

Page 39 of 51
Page 39 of 51

"a bricked ps3 is still better than xbox one's wank spy cam shite" --James V, regarding the PS3 bricking update

Page 40 of 51
Page 40 of 51

"dude a piece of a stick would still be better then a xbox ine" --Anthony R, regarding the PS3 bricking update

Page 41 of 51
Page 41 of 51

"What does the PS4 do again?? Nothing special?? Thats great!!! Good job PS!! Demographics that target cheap broke gamers. Stay classy Play Station." --Jace P, regarding PS4 price

Page 42 of 51
Page 42 of 51

"Microsoft sabotage in retaliation of an embarrassing E3! LoL" --Christopher D, regarding the PS3 bricking update

Page 43 of 51
Page 43 of 51

--Reira M, who the hell knows why it was said, there was zero context

Page 44 of 51
Page 44 of 51

"They can stick them up their arse. PS4 all the way" --Nathan C, in an article about how the PS4 and Xbox games are both going to cost $60

Page 45 of 51
Page 45 of 51

"Well that escalated quickly." --Jay C, can apply to every article

Page 46 of 51
Page 46 of 51

"oh and this is why Xbox is better, they don't have monkeys typing lines of code." --Diego L, regarding the PS3 bricking update

Page 47 of 51
Page 47 of 51

"Omg. Trash.... Fucking trash... Always will be trash.." --Luke T, regarding the PS4

Page 48 of 51
Page 48 of 51

"you know i'm curious when the BRAINWASHED Tech media and the gamers who sheepishly follow this garbage are going to give it a rest?" --Splinter B, in an article about PS4 vs Xbox

Page 49 of 51
Page 49 of 51

"if there isn't anything on One that interests you, you can't even be considered a gamer." --Dan O, in an article about Xbox exclusives

Page 50 of 51
Page 50 of 51
Hate hate hate hate hate

Hate hate hate hate hate

Feel like you've had your daily dose of insanity? Don't worry--we're sure that as these games near release, many more Internet commenters will have many more psychotic (if not witty) comments to make in response. In fact, we guarantee it.

And if you're looking for more, check out E3 2014's best and silliest PR quotes, translated into real world truth-talk and The most awkward, uncomfortable moments of E3 2014.

Page 51 of 51
Page 51 of 51
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GamesRadar+ was first founded in 1999, and since then has been dedicated to delivering video game-related news, reviews, previews, features, and more. Since late 2014, the website has been the online home of Total Film, SFX, Edge, and PLAY magazines, with comics site Newsarama joining the fold in 2020. Our aim as the global GamesRadar Staff team is to take you closer to the games, movies, TV shows, and comics that you love. We want to upgrade your downtime, and help you make the most of your time, money, and skills. We always aim to entertain, inform, and inspire through our mix of content - which includes news, reviews, features, tips, buying guides, and videos.

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