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Kremlins
The Original: Gremlins , Joe Dante's kiddie-scarer about malevolent monsters on the rampage in a Capra-esque idyll.
One Letter Off Remake: Mogwai Gizmo and his handler Billy Peltzer (Zach Galligan) are recruited by the CIA to infiltrate KGB headquarters, where Gizmo is to be watered and fed after midnight to unleash havoc.
But the plan backfires when the Gremlins decide to unleash Russia's nuclear warheads.
Sample Quote: "Get him wet. Feed him after midnight. Don't worry about sunlight, they don't have that in Russia."
The Karate Kia
The Original: John G. Avildsen's beloved 80s cheesefest The Karate Kid , about an underdog wimp (Ralph Macchio) taught the bully-beating crane stance by grouchy-but-wise Mr Miyagi (Pat Morita).
One Letter Off Remake: Mr Miyagi (here played by Ken Watanabe) is bored of training pasty American kids and needs a new challenge.
When he meets a wheelchair-bound paraplegic, who is bullied for his disability, he teaches him to manipulate his 1.4L C'eed into becoming a martial arts powerhouse.
Sample Quote: "Wax on, wax off... You missed a bit."
Jawa
The Original: Steven Spielberg's ultimate summer movie, as Chief Brody's (Roy Scheider) day at the beach becomes a horrifying ordeal at the hands of a Great White Shark named Bruce.
One Letter Off Remake: On the watery planet of Oceania, it's nearly time for the annual Regatta.
As species from the across the galaxy prepare to race, a rogue Jawa is attacking boats from under the sea in order to strip the vehicles of parts he can resell.
It's up to a Bothan, an Ewok and a Gamorrean to head out to sea in an attempt to stop him.
Sample Quote: "Imperial warships slammed two torpedoes into our side, Chief."
The Green Mime
The Original: Frank Darabont's death row drama The Green Mile , in which guard Paul Edgecomb (Tom Hanks) befriends gentle prisoner John Coffey (Michael Clarke Duncan).
One Letter Off Remake: There's no need for prisoners to feel downhearted in this prison, not when mute guard Paul Edgecomb can cheer everybody up through the power of mime.
Trouble is, when he witnesses a crime in the cell block, he's unable to tell anybody...and the people who can help are crap at charades.
Sample Quote: There isn't one. He's a mime.
Dumble in the Bronx
The Original: Rumble in the Bronx , Stanley Tong's classic Jackie Chan flick, as our hero arrives in New York only to get involved in a street war.
One Letter Off Remake: Exiled from Hogwarts and banned from using magic, Albus Dumbedore (Michael Gambon) has to pass as a Muggle and settles as a shopkeeper in New York.
However, when street gangs pitch up on his turf to terrorise the old looking fella in the robes and beards, Dumbledore has to learn some new moves to protect himself.
Sample Quote: "Every day, every hour, this very minute, perhaps, dark forces attempt to penetrate this convenience store's walls."
Ping Pong
The Original: Peter Jackson's epic homage to the 1933 classic King Kong , about a monstrous ape kidnapped from Skull Island and brought to Manhattan to perform.
One Letter Off Remake: Anthropologist Dian Fossey (Sigourney Weaver) discovers a giant ape that can play a mean game of table tennis.
But an evil sports promoter (played by Paul Giamatti) sees dollar signs. He kidnaps the monkey and forces it into increasingly dangerous bat-wielding stunts atop the Empire State Building.
Sample Quote: "It was break point that killed the beast."
Allen
The Original: Alien , Ridley Scott's haunted house movie...in space!
One Letter Off Remake: When the Nostromo picks up strange messages, the crew make planetfall and find a room full of inaminate Jewish comedians (all played by Woody Allen, obviously).
Against orders, android Ash (Elijah Wood smuggles one on board so he can learn about humour, but it breaks loose and starts telling jokes.
One by one, the crew dies laughing; it's left to the on-board computer, Mother, to give Allen a stern talking-to.
Sample Quote: You still don't understand what you're dealing with, do you? The perfect organism. The structural perfection of its gags is matched only by its timing."
Citizen Bane
The Original: Orson Welles' "best film ever" Citizen Kane , about the life of a powerful but lonely media mogul.
One Letter Off Remake: Batman nemesis Bane is tired of people mistaking his fearsome physique for a brainless brute, so buys a newspaper to disseminate anti-Bat propaganda across Gotham City.
Yet flashbacks with colleagues like The Scarecrow and Ra's Al Ghul reveal a tyrant crippled by childhood loss.
Sample Quote: "I run a couple of newspapers and fight a man dressed as a bat. What do you do?"
Look Who's Tarkin
The Original: Amy Hecklering's weird toddler-com Look Who's Talkin', as Kirstie Alley and John Travolta discover that little nipper Mikey has the voice of Bruce Willis.
One Letter Off Remake: When young Tatooine couple Owen and Beru Lars discover they can't have kids, they decide to adopt.
But in a mix-up at Mos Eisley spaceport, the person delivered to them is Imperial Governor, the Grand Moff Tarkin.
Tarkin becomes a reluctant and irritable houseguest, until he realises that he's grown comfortable wearing Owen's slippers.
Sample Quote: "Help! Help! Somebody burp me before I blow up this planet!"
Moemento
The Original: Memento , Christopher Nolan's backwards brain-scrambler about an amnesiac (Guy Pearce) putting together the jigsaw pieces of his life.
One Letter Off Remake: Moe Syzlak (voiced by Hank Azaria) wakes up to find that best friend Homer Simpson hates him, his bar has burnt down and his hair shaved off.
He crosses Springfield, picking up clues to discover the night of shame that brought about his downfall.
Sample Quote: "What's the last thing you remember?" "Ordering my fifth Jagerbomb...ah, that explains it."
Hen in Black
The Original: Barry Sonnenfeld's sci-fi comedy Men in Black , about agents J and K (Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones), the Earth's last defence against alien infiltration.
One Letter Off Remake: The foxes are getting more cunning, and Barry's Farm is under siege.
Newly hatched chick Agent E (Drew Barrymore) joins henhouse police HIB under the tutelage of Agent GG (Whoopi Goldberg) to stop a bushy-tailed slaughter.
Sample Quote: "This definitely rates about a 9.0 on my weird-chickenshit-o-meter."
No Country For Old Hen
The Original: No Country For Old Men , the Coen Brothers' fatalistic-but-Oscar winning thriller about the bloody hunt for a bag full of cash.
One Letter Off Remake: The sequel to Hen in Black , in which a now-elderly Agent GG is brought out of retirement when a rogue cockerel steals all of the eggs.
Yet she hasn't counted on the arrival of the sadistic Colonel Sanders, intent on cooking the runaway bird in his 'Family Bucket.'
Sample Quote: "What's the most you ever lost on an egg toss?"
Hobocop
The Original: Robocop , Paul Verhoeven's ultra-violent piss-take of Reaganite America as law and order is privatised and robotised.
One Letter Off Remake: Basically the same premise, but instead of an injured cop the powers-that-be decide to save money by dragging the first vagrant they find in off the street.
Hilarity ensues when Hobocop's (Jack Nicholson) programming falters and old habits kick in - instead of protecting local liquor stores, he's the one guzzling all the wares.
Sample Quote: "Serve the public trust. Protect the innocent. Er, what was #3 again?"
Slade
The Original: Stephen Norrington's cult adaptation of comic-book Blade , about the eponymous vampire-turned-vampire killer (Wesley Snipes).
One Letter Off Remake: The West Midlands is overrun by folk musicians and Ozzy the heavy metal king has been deposed.
There is only one man crazee enough to skweeze the folkies - Noddy Holder (played by Michael Sheen) and his Slade army.
Sample Quote: "You better wake up. The world you live in is just a sugar-coated topping. There is another world beneath it - the real world. And if you want to survive it, you better cum on and feel the noize!"
The Wookie
The Original: The Rookie , Clint Eastwood's mismatched buddy thriller in which Clint's grizzled veteran has to teach the ropes to newbie Charlie Sheen.
One Letter Off Remake: When an alien spaceship, buried in the Arctic "a long, long time ago," is defrosted, authorities are incapable of dealing with its Wookie pilot Chewbacca.
It's left to maverick cop Clint to housetrain the wild animal, but he soon realises that a howling mad partner is just the thing to keep crime off the streets.
Sample Quote: "It's impossible to make a real dent. But it is possible to hurt individual assholes who fuck it up for everyone, because I've got a Wookie."
Gone With the Wine
The Original: Victor Fleming's Civil War romance Gone With The Wind , the tale of the stormy relationship between Rhett Butler (Clark Gable) and Scarlett O'Hara (Vivien Leigh).
One Letter Off Remake: Depressed by the endless slaughter between Yankees and Confederate, Rhett Butler drinks away his sorrows, and has a reputation as the life and soul of every party.
But can he win over temperance activist Scarlett O'Hara, a woman who wouldn't touch this drunken bum with a bargepole? He can if he can get her pissed.
Sample Quote: "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. Pass the merlot."
Fudge Dredd
The Original: Danny Cannon's much-maligned adaptation of Judge Dredd , starring an unmasked Sylvester Stallone as the eponymous judge, jury and executioner.
One Letter Off Remake: Feeling that there's nothing left to blow up after The Expendables , Stallone decides to direct himself in a kid-friendly hymn to tolerance and rehabilitation.
The new Dredd is nothing to fear. Instead of blasting criminals to dust, he offers them an extensive range of confectionery if they apologise to their victims and promise not to do it again.
Sample Quote: "I am the law! Put down your weapons and prepare for Fudge...or an Aero. Either's good."
Ron Air
The Original: Simon West's preposterous 1990s actioner Con Air , in which innocent con Cameron Poe (Nic Cage) is released only to find he's sharing a ride home with the baddest of the bad.
One Letter Off Remake: A misunderstanding sees wizarding student Ron Weasley (Rupert Grint) locked up in Azkaban.
On his release, he's troubled to learn that the cash-starved Ministry of Magic are sending him home on a Muggle flight along with several Death Eaters being taken to London.
When the dark wizards take control, it's up to Weasley to save the day.
Sample Quote: "Put the Boggart back in the box!"
Apocalypse Cow
The Original: Apocalypse Now , Francis Ford Coppola's Vietnam trip about Captain Willard (Martin Sheen going down river to assassinate rogue Colonel Kurtz (Marlon Brando).
One Letter Off Remake: Remember the cow that gets symbolically slaughtered at the end of the original? Well, this is the backstory of that scene.
Not only do we learn that it was the bovine bully, not Brando, who was really in charge. Turns out there was also a parrot on board the boat who's been instructed to tell the natives to hack the beast to bits.
Sample Quote: "The clover! The clover!"
Rex and the City
The Original: Michael Patrick King's film version of the hit TV show Sex and the City , about four women buying shoes and having sex in New York.
One Letter Off Remake: What with all the sex and shopping, Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) and chums didn't read about the disastrous scientific experiment that has unleashed a real-life T-Rex into Manhattan.
As society collapses and New Yorkers throw end-of-civilisation orgies, the oblivious gals just think they've got lucky. On the downside, the Jimmy Choo sale has been cancelled. Bummer.
Sample Quote: "After years of living in the city I assumed that if my friends and I ever got our fairytale endings, that would be the end of the story. But then the dinosaur arrived."
Forrest Pump
The Original: Robert Zemeckis' fable about clueless yokel Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks), who inexplicably finds himself involved in every major event in post-war American history.
One Letter Off Remake: After Henry Ford invents the motorcar, folk need petrol, and that's when they come to Forrest.
From his car-side vantage point, the inanimate petrol-giving device inspires Presidents, sporting heroes and movie stars...
...although perhaps he should have said no to filling up Jimmy Dean's car.
Sample Quote: "Life is like an unmarked tanker. You never know if it'll contain regular or diesel."
Cool Han Luke
The Original: Stuart Rosenberg's counter-culture prison camp drama Cool Hand Luke , in which the eponymous rebel (Paul Newman) refuses to conform to the Governor's brutal regime.
One Letter Off Remake: Locked up together by the Empire, Han and Luke become firm friends, until Han realises that Luke is using Jedi mind tricks to convince their fellow prisoners that he's the cool one.
The two engage in increasingly dangerous stunts - Wookie baiting; eating raw Wampa eggs - in order to win the popularity contest.
Sample Quote: "What we’ve got here is failure to communicate. Some Wookies you just can't reach."
Dobby Does Dallas
The Original: Jim Clark's (ahem) seminal porno Debbie Does Dallas , in which Debbie (Bambi Woods) and her fellow cheerleaders earn money for an audition by...well, guess.
One Letter Off Remake: The sickest kids' film ever made, as house elf Dobby (voiced by Toby Jones) gets frisky with centaurs, goblins and other magical creatures.
Sample Quote: "Dobby is used to prostitutes, sir. Dobby gets them five times a day at home."
