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15 Greatest American Pie Moments

Hello Son

The Moment: Jim is putting the crowning glory on his first year at college by getting down and dirty with a fellow student in his dorm room. It's not going brilliantly, this being Jim's "first time since my first time", but it's not a total disaster. Not until Jim's Dad walks in however, initially dropping a six-pack of beers in shock, before settling down to dole out some friendly advice.

Best Line:
"I've not been here the whole time," says Jim's Dad, helpfully, when Jim's ladyfriend's parents show up…

Brave Boy

The Moment: In the latest movie, Jim manages to find himself naked in the kitchen once again. This time however, it's not his dad who walks in on him… it's his wife and her old band camp buddy, Selena. Thinking quickly, Jim covers his modesty with a saucepan lid… only to realise he can still be seen. Cue a full-frontal close-up of a very brave Jason Biggs…

Best Line: "Jim? You do realise that the lid is see-through?"

Pep Talk

The Moment: Any of Jim's "intimate exchanges" with his dad would merit inclusion here, but the masturbation chat is a cut above. Lurking outside Jim's room on the pretense of "looking at the old family portrait", the old man launches into one of the most skin-crawlingly ill-advised pep talks ever delivered, as he talks his mortified son through the ins and outs of self abuse...

Best Line: "I never did it with baked goods, but you know your Uncle Mort? He pets the one-eyed snake five, six times a day."

Man vs. Pie

The Moment: Having been told that a woman's "private area" feels like warm apple pie, Jim decides to put himself through a trial run with some of his mum's freshly-baked handiwork. Watching him finger the pie is pretty gross. Seeing him start humping it is worse. Witnessing the expression on his old man's face as he interrupts halfway through? Priceless.

Best Line:
"It's not what it looks like," says a stricken Jim.

Webcam

The Moment: The webcam sequence is the crowning moment of the American Pie series, seamlessly segueing from teenage fantasy to teenage nightmare in a matter of seconds. At first it seems as though Jim will get to see Nadia naked. Then it transpires that he will have to strip himself. But then it seems as though he'll get his end away. And then he blows it. Quite literally. The cutaway scenes to the hordes of fellow pupils watching via the internet are the icing on the cake.

Best Line: "God bless the internet," breathes a disbelieving Finch.

George Wales
George is GR's resident movie news person, based out of London. He understands that all men must die, but he'd rather not think about it.