Anacondas: The Hunt For The Blood Orchid review

"Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes?" You'll be asking the same question after enduring this soggy sequel to J-Lo's 1997 floater. From the shoddy CGI to the wooden cast, it's a straight-to-retail-style creature feature pausing briefly in cinemas before sliding into the bargain basement.

With Lopez unsurprisingly skipping out, director Dwight Little plucks brawny Boyz N The Hood star Morris Chestnut out of the CV slush pile as his Established Name. Corrie addicts (you poor sods) will also recognise Matthew Marsden as the requisite British bad guy. But it's a measure of the ensemble that the monkey that joins their quest to find a rare, life-extending orchid in the balmy Borneo jungle actually out-acts them.

That there are numerous ravenous reptiles scarfing down the greedy stereotypes isn't enough to justify 97 minutes of your life, although the so-bad-it's-good factor might kick in with a few pre-screening pints. Guff-awful.