An incomplete history of time-travel games

Ah, the golden days of one-on-one fighters, in which there was no pressure on your game to be any good whatsoever as long as it had energy-bars at the top of the screen and a shitload of attack buttons. Time Killers has far more story than its premise would suggest (which is to say, about a paragraph’s worth), boiling down to your mission: face uggoes from across time and dismember them.

Did it do your head in? It did your head off, which in its mouth-breathing cretinousness it thought was pretty much the same thing.

Above: It’s a wonder people got worried about 1990s arcade games

Were there cowboys in it? Cowboys don’t have swords; guns can’t clumsily dismember people; ergo, no cowboys here. Boo.

Time Travel Satisfaction Rating: