50 Greatest Alan Partridge Moments

Chocolate spread

The Moment: Having enjoyed a Valentine’s dinner with former receptionist Jill, who clearly has an alarming lack of sexual inhibition, the two retire to Alan’s room, leading to a lights-out soundtrack of dull foreplay. Then Jill has a lightbulb moment and disgusts Alan with some messy chocolate action.

Most Quotable Line: “Do you mind if I talk? It helps me to keep the wolf from the door, so to speak… Jill… what do you think of the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre? I’ll be honest – I’m dead against it. People forget traders need access to Diiiiiixons!”

It's a moment Steve Coogan loves a lot, too. Watch him chat about his love of the chocolate-y scene in the video below...

Sherlock Holmes gaff

The Moment: Interviewing intellectual novelist Lawrence Camley on his radio show, Alan proceeds to turn his intellect into a gameshow, urging him to tell a joke and asking him to answer general knowledge questions from the audience. Things get worse when a discussion about Sherlock Holmes reveals that Alan thinks he was a real person.

Most Quotable Line: “What I thought was great about Sherlock Holmes was that not only was he a supersleuth, he was also a hard worker. Because, not only did he go out and solve the crimes, he came home and wrote it all down.”

Meeting with Tony Hayers

The Moment: A terrible lunch meeting with the BBC’s Chief Commissioning Editor, Tony Hayers, in which Alan hopes to be granted a new series of his chat show and ends up pitching him new ideas such as “Arm Wrestling With Chas ‘n’ Dave”, “Inner City Sumo”, Cooking In Prison”, “Youth Hostelling With Chris Eubank” and, infamously, “Monkey Tennis”. When all his ideas are rejected, Alan then proceeds to have a mini-breakdown, shoving a huge round of cheese into Hayers’ face.

Most Quotable Line: “Smell my cheese, you mother!”

Alan's music tastes

The Moment: Alan discusses music with the young, cool Linton Travel Tavern staff member, revealing that he has a broad range from "Brit Pop" band Def Leppard to Wings and that his favourite Beatles album is "The Best Of The Beatles".

Most Quotable Line: On Wings: "They're only the band The Beatles could have been."

World Cup Countdown 94

The Moment: As sports presenter on The Day Today, Alan Partridge’s highlight was providing exclamatory comments over a compilation of World Cup footage, producing instant, classic catchphrases.

Most Quotable Line: Lots to choose from, but our favourites are “He’s got a foot on him like a traction engine” and “TWAT! That was liquid football!”

Marriage breakdown

The Moment: One of the more emotionally revealing moments in I, Partridge: We Need To Talk About Alan, comes when he describes his actions when he first started to suspect that his wife Carol was having an affair. It involves borrowing Bill Oddie’s binoculars and a confused confrontation in which Carol doesn’t understand Alan’s accusations because of his overt use of emphasis and making inverted commas with his fingers (“her knowledge of mind punctuation was pitiful”).

Most Quotable Line: “This French smelling sex provider was Carol’s fitness instructor. Far from being French he was actually from Luton. His only Frenchness was his cowardly duplicitness and the kissing he did with my wife.”

Forward Solutions

The Moment: As part of Steve Coogan's recent stand-up tour, Alan Partridge gives a business presentation for his new enterprise: a life advice seminar called Forward Solutions. It begins with celebrity endorsements from such stars as Ross Kemp ("You are the Ultimate Force") and a badly performed Queen medley, before Alan uses his computer to provide a big-screen visual display, revealing several pornographic photos in the process.

Most Quotable Line: "Just like Chris Martin from Coldplay, I will fix you. But what do Chris and I mean when we say that? Fix what? A kettle? A marriage? A neck? The point is there’s nothing that’s broken that can’t be fixed… although with necks, it’s 50-50."

Superfan Jed

The Moment: Having lured Irish TV execs back to fan Jed's house under the pretence that they are roomies, Alan discovers that Jed is actually an obsessed stalker, complete with shrine room and chest tattoo. One headlock and a promise to meet up again later, Alan shouts abuse at Jed before making his ill-conceived getaway, coming to a dead end in his car and continuing his escape on foot across a field.

Most Quotable Line: “No way, you big spastic! You’re a mentalist!”

Describing the plague

The Moment: In a special programme detailing Partridge’s (not-literal) love affair with Norfolk – “the Wales of the East” – and more specifically Norwich, he recounts the city’s history, taking to a butcher’s stall in Norwich Market to describe the desolation once caused by the Black Death.

Most Quotable Line: "The Black Death was very much the HIV of its day; but rather than be transmitted by blood transfusions, sexual intercourse, or heavy kissing, this plague was airborne. Let me put that in context for you: flying AIDS."

The Bondathon

The Moment: With Lynn spilling Sunny Delight on Alan's James Bond videos, thus ruining his weekend Bondathon, he ends up berating his guests for getting the film details mixed up. He then reenacts the intro to The Spy Who Loved Me , complete with a rendition of Nobody Does It Better while acting out the parts of the silhouetted naked women during the title credits.

Most Quotable Line: "Stop getting Bond wrong!"

We spoke to Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa 's star (Steve Coogan), director (Declan Lowney) and writers (Neil and Rob Gibbons) to discuss their own favourite Partridge moments. Watch the video below...