2007 Carpet-bombs XBLA with new games

It appears that you have helped perpetuate the Xbox Live Arcade epidemic - Microsoft reports 20 million game downloads from that bastion of old-school.

So this year, a plethora of warmongering game-makers are launching oodles of combat-crammed new releases to meet your destruction quotas. One prime example is Worms. This deathly serious war-strategy simulation lets you control armies of pink stretchy-blobbyguys bent on annihilating each other. So cute they’ll detonate your heart valves.

Here are some other titles we viewed as gems. Or missiles, whichever is more fun for you:

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night - So you fancy yourself a vampire hunter, eh? Well equip your whip and come to our offices. Yeah, at GamesRadar, we’ve got a locked-up cellar full of interns, and we only feed them blood.

Alien Hominid HD - Another hand-drawn side-scroller, ‘cept here you’re a miniscule alien who eats raw whole human heads, rides a yeti, and gets in to strung-out knife-fights with your buddies.

Paperboy - Child labor laws be damned. Pump your nubile little legs, or no water and bread for you.

Root Beer Tapper -Suuuurrreee. Yeah, ok. We all knowthat's Budweiser on tap.We need a new generation of alcoholics. And this game teaches kids the fundamentals of hyper-chugging. Good, you get a gold star.

ABOVE: Kegs for the kiddies!

Also included in the coming barrage is Band of Bugs, Catan, Eets:Chowdown, Luxor 2, and 3D Ultra Minigolf Adventures.

For additional in-for-mah-shee-on, pour thislink into your mug.

January 30, 2007