Jaguar Paw
Why You Can't Kill Him: Nothing like a mission to save your wife, son and unborn child to give a man the power to accomplish the impossible. Jaguar Paw is kidnapped by Aztecs, and has to fight tooth and nail (literally) to get back to his family.
If This Won't Kill Him, What Will? Uh, first he survives being “finished” in a cruel Aztec tournament, then he kills every one of the raiders who give chase in the jungle – even setting up skewer-happy booby traps.
Achilles Heel: It’s the family, of course. Get them, get Jaguar.
The Bride
Why You Can't Kill Her: She’s on a roaring rampage of revenge, which affords her some kind of superhuman ability to foresee everything that could possibly go wrong for her (apart from the coffin, that sucked). Also, she was trained by Bill, meaning she’s one heck of an assassin.
If This Won't Kill Her, What Will? First and foremost, the Bride survives a bullet in the head. We don’t know what the percentage of people who survive a bullet in the head is, but we’re pretty sure it’s very slim.
Achilles Heel: Like any mother, the Bride would do anything for her daughter - faced with taking her own life or her daughters, we're pretty sure she'd choose the former.
Gandalf
Why You Can't Kill Him: He’s a wizened wizard with many a trick up his (rather copious) sleeves.
If This Won't Kill Him, What Will? You know what they say: you can chuck a man down a never-ending cavern, but you can never take away his dignity. Or something. He falls down a mine with a monster. Survives.
Achilles Heel: Magic, in a word. It’s seductive and all that. Overload him, bye-bye Gandalf.
Neo
Why You Can't Kill Him: He’s a Messiah for the modern day. When he’s freed from the Matrix, Neo proves himself as The One by fighting evil Agents and flying about like Superman. Okay, so he bites it at the very end of Matrix Revolutions , but in the twisty world of The Matrix , is he really dead?
If This Won't Kill Him, What Will? Take your pick: fighting Agent Smith, stopping mving bullets from striking their target…
Achilles Heel: Tell him you're going to teach him kung-fu, plug a laptop into his brain and load Hottie Or The Nottie into the DVD drive. He'll kill himself.
Sidney Prescott
Why You Can't Kill Her: Initially because she’s a virgin, meaning that this Final Girl is protected. After popping her cherry, though, she becomes a New Wave heroine, one who can enjoy sex without getting sliced. Much.
If This Won't Kill Her, What Will? Sidney’s been chased up and down the stairs so many times now, she must have killer calves. Which is probably why no Ghostface has bettered her yet.
Achilles Heel: Sidney hates phones, surely. Lock her in a room with a million of them all ringing at once and she'll use one of their cords to strangle herself.
Sadako
Why You Can't Kill Her: She only exists on videotape. A rage-fuelled spirit, Sadako imprinted herself onto a videotape while she was dying at the bottom of a well. Anybody who watches the tape learns of her tragic, tortured life and dies from the shock of it.
If This Won't Kill Her, What Will? Beaten over the head with an axe and dumped into the bottom of a well, Sadako survives for 33 days before inventing her means to everlasting unlife.
Achilles Heel: Her mother, whom Sadako protected against vicious reporters. Or, dig out your VHS player and record the latest episode of Eastenders over her. Then try to decide which was worse.
Ripley
Why You Can't Kill Her: Even death can’t stop Ripley. Having sacrificed herself in order to destroy the Alien Queen residing inside her, Ripley is cloned and brought back to life centuries later – now a cross of human and Alien DNA, making her even more powerful than ever.
If This Won't Kill Her, What Will? Yeah, there's the small matter of her actual death, but Ripley’s also survived an Alien aboard the Nostromo, as well as confrontation with the monstrous Queen.
Achilles Heel: She really hates those aliens, meaning Ripley could be lured into all kinds of traps if she thought there was a xenomorph in need of exploding.
David
Why You Can't Kill Them: David’s an advanced prototype of a human, so convincing and realistic that he’s almost indistinguishable from every other little boy in the playground.
If This Won't Kill Them, What Will? Spending 2000 years under glacial ice does nothing to David, as his search for the Blue Fairy takes him across the globe.
Achilles Heel: David just wants to be a real boy. Tell him that by ripping out his wires he'll become one, job done.
Tang Lung
Why You Can't Kill Him: This guy’s got style and grace. Using a combination of Chinese boxing and karate, his enemies can barely lay a finger on him – making him seriously difficult to kill.
If This Won't Kill Him, What Will? It’s one man against the world , as Tang goes up against numerous Mafia enemies – and emerges unscathed.
Achilles Heel: Tang’s really a bit of a soft touch, so appealing to his gentle nature and befriending him first would get you close enough to slip some poison into his food.
Lara Croft
Why You Can't Kill Her: She’s James Bond with a D-cup. Trained in numerous defence arts, Lara can fight better than any man and isn’t scared to get physical when it matters.
If This Won't Kill Her, What Will? Shadow monsters, bullet wounds, Pandora’s box, back-stabbing friends, the Illuminati… Lara’s survived them all.
Achilles Heel: Lara’s a total thrillseeker, and her lack of reserve when it comes to death-defying stunts could be the end of her.
