Diane Keaton
The Lady: Nervous, eccentric little ragamuffin. Sort of a female Woody Allen. If she were a bird, she'd be a scrawny little sparrow with giant eyes.
The Part: Keaton’s appeared in eight of Allen’s films, including the iconic Annie Hall and Manhattan . She memorably rustled up an uncanny and hilarious impersonation of Marlon Brando in Sleeper .
In With A Chance? Right on. Perhaps the most famous of Allen’s early lovers, the pair dated after meeting on stageshow Play It Again , Sam , and lived together during the show’s run.
Penlope Cruz
The Lady: Spanish actress who, aside from bragging about her perfect skin in L'Oréal adverts, has also appeared in Blow and Volver . Will next be seen in the fourth Pirates Of The Caribbean .
The Part: Fiery, tempestuous María Elena, suicidal and completely unpredictable in Vicky Cristina Barcelona . She starts a three-way relationship with her husband and plucky traveller Cristina.
In With A Chance? Not likely, granddad. Instead, Cruz ended up shacking up with co-star Javier Bardem. We’re sure Allen was devastated.
Mia Farrow
The Lady: Fashion model/actress turned Goodwill Ambassador. Most famous as the innocent, titular character in Rosemary’s Baby , and for marrying Frank Sinatra. Before dumping him. (Alright, he divorced her, but still…)
The Part: Farrow trumps even Keaton in the Woody Allen film stakes, having lent her ethereal, mannered frame to no less than 13 of the neurotic multi-hyphenate’s films. Broadway Danny Rose is her finest show, as she plays mobster Tina. She actually made us laugh.
In With A Chance? In the 1980s, Allen’s heart belonged to Farrow. They adopted two children, with Mia giving birth to a third. Allen’s controversial affair with his adopted daughter ended the relationship.
Freida Pinto
The Lady: Born in Mumbai, 26-year-old Pinto lurched into the spotlight with her starring role in Danny Boyle’s multi-Oscar-winning Slumdog Millionaire . Next she’s in Tarsem Singh’s sandy epic Immortals .
The Part: Pinto’s first film with Mr Allen casts her as Dia in You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger . She’s the object of affection for Josh Brolin’s Roy, who forces her to end her engagement in order to be with him. Even though he’s married.
In With A Chance? S omething tells us Pinto’s happy with her Millionaire co-star at the moment.
Scarlett Johansson
The Lady: Husky-voiced lovely with bee-stung lips, Johansson has mingled with the arty crowd ( Lost In Translation, Girl With A Pearl Earring ) and the big budget crowd ( Iron Man 2 ), as well as being a Noughties Allen girl.
The Part: After suffering through 2006’s Scoop , just a year after her first tango with Woody Allen produced the reasonably-successful Match Point , Johansson’s time to shine came with 2008’s lauded Vicky Cristina Barcelona . Yep, she’s the third part of that polyamorous relationship.
In With A Chance? Allen called her one of the sexiest women currently residing in Hollywood. Sadly, Johansson was linked to both Josh Hartnett and Ryan Reynolds (who she later married) while working with Allen. Poor Woody.
Rebecca Hall
The Lady: British actress who’s shone in everything from The Prestige to the otherwise rather rubbish Dorian Gray , and this year’s excellent The Town .
The Part: Finally, our Vicky. Essentially the ‘Woody Allen character’ rendered in female flesh, Vicky is the ultra-intelligent, analysis-obsessed young thing that Allen would be if he was a modern day female. Hall pulls it off without even borrowing Woody's glasses.
In With A Chance? Her severe intellect no doubt both attracted and frightened Allen.
Julie Kavner
The Lady: Recognise that name? You probably see it every night around 6:26 on Channel 4. Yeah, Kavner’s the voice of Marge Simpson. But let’s not hold that against her, eh?
The Part: Kavner’s graced seven Allen films with her inimitable presence, most memorably as Radio Days ’ irrepressible matriarch.
In With A Chance? Kavner credits Allen with rejuvenating her career, but she was married by the time that happened. The fact that she’s a reclusive figure could prove attractive to Woods, though.
Dianne Wiest
The Lady: Two-time Academy Award winner, born in Kansas City and trained on the boards as a Shakespearean actor. Allen gave Wiest her movie break in the 1980s.
The Part: Wiest made a brief but impactful first appearance in the Allenverse with Purple Rose Of Cairo as a young prostitute. She worked her subtle comedic talents to great effect in Hannah And Her Sisters (while snorting cocaine!), and played a bad actress well in Bullets Over Broadway . “Don’t speak!”
In With A Chance? Uh, Allen made Wiest walk up and down a staircase 30 times for a shot in Bullets . A relationship probably isn't in the pipeline.
Patricia Clarkson
The Lady: Much-adored Louisiana native whose talents have lit up Six Feet Under and Far From Heaven among many others.
The Part: More menage a trois action, as Clarkson’s Christian mother heads to NYC to rescue her daughter, only to have her eyes opened up to new experiences. She’s the best part of Whatever Works , which otherwise doesn't.
In With A Chance? “Woody doesn’t care what your process is,” says Clarkson. “Just know your lines, do your homework, put your clothes on. Actually, he does care a lot about clothes. They’re crucial.” Hmm, on or off? Nobody’s talking.
Judy Davis
The Lady: Another Aussie, this one twice nominated for an Oscar, and last glimpsed in Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette .
The Part: Davis was best served by Husbands And Wives , with her role as Sally, one half of a couple earning her an Oscar nomination. She also had the pleasure of working on some of Allen’s best films, including Alice, Celebrity and Deconstructing Harry.
In With A Chance? By the time Allen met her, she was already happily married. Unlucky, son.
