• SolarPoweredShitMachine - March 2, 2011 5:45 p.m.

    This is one of the best articles on the site.
  • Peguin - March 2, 2011 6:08 p.m.

    Great article. Made me laugh
  • Sharkbot - March 2, 2011 6:25 p.m.

    On the contrary to the zombie apocalypse conclusion, get a shit load of canned food while the infection is just starting, go to a huge building, bring an extension cable and the sims, survive. Fact zombies don't use elevators, and if they do you're fucked.
  • jackthemenace - March 2, 2011 6:26 p.m.

    Brilliant. Gotta love Cundy. Also, The standard procedure for alien invasion apocalypses- women and children first? AHH YEAHHH.
  • hllywd212 - March 2, 2011 6:46 p.m.

    YES!!! According to this made up evidence, my chance of survival is VERY high. I am a plumber and a gamer. BRING ON THE END TIMES, BITCH!!!!
  • krejsy - March 2, 2011 7:04 p.m.

    Really good article, and also, I'm quite prepared for an inevitable zombie apocalypse. I have even tried to get the first aid kits, and fire safety kits(don't really know what it's called in english) at my school swapped for zombie survival kits. Since it's obvious that someone will turn into a zombie and will need his/hers/its head blown off before some gets hurt of set on fire.
  • killerjon666 - March 2, 2011 7:11 p.m.

    Yes I agree that casual "I only play nazi zombies" gamers would get gnawed on in a matter of a few days but what about the hardcore gamers who play the resident evil series all hours through the night? I think we would have a decent chance in the zombie apocalypse.
  • philipshaw - March 2, 2011 8:12 p.m.

    Was Cundy drunk when he wrote this?
  • Crypto140 - March 2, 2011 9:03 p.m.

    I lost many a friend with arguments about what would happen during a zombie invasion. Me: During a zombie invasion, I would so be the Bill. I older and wiser than all of you. Friend: Sure, you can be the old guy who gets a heart attack half way though. I will be more like Chuck Greene. Me: I forgot you could kick a soccer ball and it would hit 50 zombies from one kick. Friend: Yes I could because I am so hardcore. I can make it to rank 10 in CoD Nazi zombies. Me: Ohhhhhhh good for you. You can make it to rank 10 in a zombie invasion where you get weapons off the walls and open doors with points, becasue you're not smart enough to shoot the lock. Friend: No, I will build a chainsaw pattle. Then when you run out of ammo- Me: I don't run out of ammo. It's only when I am covering your sorry ass from a hunter, I run out of ammo- Friend; But I will have a meele weapon. Me: That's 50 pounds, and if I recall, breaks after 50 zombies. It will look like you hitting zombies with a sofa.
  • gopikmin - March 2, 2011 9:17 p.m.

    our success depends if the zombies can be runners or not. I would drive a car around town really fast to mow as i can. When i get low on fuel i take out the guns I "borrowed" from the gun and aim for the limbs until i reach some sort of safehouse or skyscraper and camp out until the zombie population is extinct in the area. the plan would be foolproof except that i live near nyc. If it is a religious apocalypse the majority of gamers are doomed
  • AurA - March 2, 2011 9:27 p.m.

    aww i always imagined the zombie apocalypse to be the best apocalypse. I mean i already have a pretty decent sword, which makes me already prepared for the zombie apocalype in 2012 *crossing fingers*
  • Markstone - March 2, 2011 9:32 p.m.

    Shouldn't an Activision CEO have a 0% survival chance?
  • oneshotfinch - March 2, 2011 10:02 p.m.

    This is a fantastic example of a Matt Cundy article.
  • majrf22 - March 2, 2011 11:08 p.m.

    you got that quite right, one thing though, the ultimate survivors would be people like me, people who actually know how to use a shotgun.
  • Hullonotna - March 2, 2011 11:31 p.m.

    Amazing article. Most gamers would last longer then most in a zombie apocalypse and should be used as the main soldiers in an alien invasion. One thing that would destroy gamers is an elemental apocalypse, no power :'(
  • Roofmonkey - March 3, 2011 12:19 a.m. ^ Dont forget about that
  • Valntyne - March 3, 2011 2:05 a.m.

    I say bring it.
  • Japanaman - March 3, 2011 4:02 a.m.

    I suppose the best way to die would be to get crushed by a giant Katamari as aliens steal junk from Earth to marvel at it later in a giant snowglobe or something.
  • Spybreak8 - March 3, 2011 4:30 a.m.

    Bravo sir, haha bravo. Great article.
  • RideZeLitenin - March 3, 2011 4:33 a.m.

    Apocalype Now? Anytime.

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