The 100 worst games of all time
After celebrating the 100 best games of all time, we're ready to once more give hate a chance by updating and expanding our list of the worst games of all time. After searching the darkest depths of gaming, we now have the 100 worst games of all time in one place!
We aren't just picking disappointing games or boring titles. These are broken messes, games without value. These will live on in infamy long after boringly average games are forgotten. These are the 100 worst games ever. Gaze upon them and repent!
100. Rise of the Robots
The 16-bit era was lousy with 2D fighting games--thanks to the mega-success of Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat, everyone wanted a piece of the fighting pie. And while a majority of the one-on-one competition was at least passable, some were really underwhelming. And then there were games like Rise of the Robots.
Were okay with the idea of robots fighting in a dystopian future. Were less approving of a way-too-difficult combo system, insane difficulty spikes in later stages, and very annoying balance differences between the characters. On top of all that, the faux CGI graphics might have wowed gamers in 1992, but they've aged worse than 1992 Oscar winner Al Pacino.
99. The Fight: Lights Out
Were going to talk about a lot of motion control games today, so get ready to have a sore arm. The Fight: Lights Out was a PS3 game that was supposed to replicate a boxing-style street fight with the Move, using the PlayStation Eyes depth perception to determine strength of punches for intuitive motion control. It's presence on this list should tell you that none of what was promised happened.
We cant describe how frustrating it is to throw a punch with the controller only to have our character stand still and do nothing. And it happens over and over again. Seriously, what was the point of us throwing the punch if youre not going to respond? It takes effort to throw a fake punch. We nearly threw our back out once! Maybe we need to get in better shape but that's beside the point. Not even the inclusion of cult film star Danny Trejo could make this bearable.
98. Jumper: Griffin's Story
We dont even know where to start with Jumper: Griffins Story. Most people will finish the game in under two hours, but those 120 minutes will be some of the worst youll ever spend playing a game. From its glitchy combat to the silly storyline (its a side story to a film that's likely forgotten by its own cast), youre going to want jump right off of this terrible game as soon as you start it.
We know the movie wasnt all that great, so we suppose we shouldnt have expected a quality game, but Jumper can disappoint even the lowest of expectations. The bare bones adventure is dotted with extreme kill CGI moments, where we see the hero transport an enemy to some awful situation and leave him there, all of which get old quickly. The only real positive about this game is that it has very easy Achievements. Sadly, that's enough to get a certain number of gamers to pick it up.
97. Spawn: The Eternal
Just seeing a polygonal figure walk around was impressive in the 1990s, even more so in games like Tomb Raider and Fighting Force. But along with those came a ton of derivative releases, with hideous looking failed attempts littering shelves the world over. Spawn: The Eternal is one such abomination of early 3D gaming.
Based very loosely on the Image Comics series of the same name, most of the game is unbearably slow, as if Spawn was trudging through molasses instead of New York City. Everything is coated in horrible textures that only look worse when a random glitch makes them momentarily vanish. And then there's the combat, which wishes it was a failed Tekken clone. There is the somewhat novel idea of playing as different Spawn's through the ages, including the popular Medieval Spawn, but that just game a chance to vary the hideous locales you explore.
96. Golden Axe: Beast Rider
You know, some of us used to joke around about good companies like BioWare, saying that they could basically poop on the carpet, take video of it, encode it onto a disk and it would still be good. Then it turns out that SEGA actually did this and called it Golden Axe: Beast Rider. A sort of God of War clone with, you know, beasts to occasionally ride, Beast Rider did its best to leave what made the arcade games it was based on in the dust: lots of characters, fun combat, and good multiplayer.
Sure, there were thieving gnomes and the occasional magic spell to help you in a pinch, but thats about as nostalgic as this game got. Then again, nostalgia can never cover up backward thinking like the dated graphics and tepid hack and slash hooey.
95. Barbie Dreamhouse Party
Barbie Dreamhouse Party might be the scariest game weve ever seen. Everything about this release screams total horror, from the oppressively pink dreamhouse to the plastic characters themselves. Go watch a video and tell us that the way Barbie prances around her dreamhouse with that creepy look on her face doesnt give you the willies.
Thats all before we even get into the meat of the game, which sees a trouble-making AI that lives in Barbies closet kidnap her and her friends. This evil force bars the windows and doors of the closet, and forcing the girls to compete in an assortment of sexist minigames, on top of trying on clothes and makeup until the GLaDOS clone is satisfied. Were not kidding, this is literally what happens, and its the creepiest, weirdest Barbie game weve ever seen. Not that we've played a ton of Barbie games or anything...
94. Animal Crossing: Amiibo Festival
Animal Crossing is great. Its a perfect relaxing little game that sees you pottering around your own little village, collecting things and making friends with Hamsters. This, however, would make Poor Isabelle cry if she hadnt already been turned into a plastic statue in attempt to sell this sorry excuse for a board game.
Use your Animal Crossing amiibo to move around a simple dice-roll board game collecting Bells and Happy points. Its all luck based, and the whole point of its existence is just a vessel to sell you more amiibo and cards. While there is the odd shiny nugget of Animal Crossing charm, you have to sift through a lazy turd of a boardgame to find it. We're going just going to ignore this and pretend it never happened and hopefully it'll go away.
93. Naughty Bear
Theres going to be a lot of games on this list that are good ideas in theory but suffer from poor execution. Naughty Bear doesnt even have that going for it, as its just a pissed off bear trying to attack other bears because he didnt get invited to a party--which has to be the worst excuse for video game violence ever. What followed was a bunch of stuffed toys being torn apart, which stops being funny really quickly.
The rest of the experience is just as dumb, with stupidly intricate objectives and an awful camera that keeps getting stuck in random places. There are few redeeming qualities about Naughty Bear, unless you like stabbing teddy bears over and over again in the same fashion. If thats the case, you might want to go talk to someone.
92. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2013)
We dont know what happened to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Back in the day they were the coolest heroes on a half shell, starring in hits like the original arcade game and Turtles in Time, but recently they cant catch a break. Activision tried to continue that tradition that with a game based on the current Nickelodeon show, but this time the Turtles left fans shell-shocked in a bad way.
If youre going to play this Turtles game, we hope you enjoy pressing one button over and over again, because youre going to do exactly that. Basic gameplay is mindless button-mashing with no real variety, including stiff controls that are hardly as responsive as wed like. There are partners that are constantly on-screen with you, but theyre practically useless thanks to mindless AI. These are not the Turtles we remember, and wed rather go replay the classic TMNT games for the 100th time than slog through this.
91. Rugby 15
Rugby games are few and far between, so when news that their favourite sport was coming to consoles once more reached fans ears there was an excitable yelp in sports grounds across the land. Drunken chants were sung, beers were merrily sloshed together and pies were thrown up in the air like mortar board hats at a graduation. It was a good day (for England and Australia at least, the rest of the world dont even know what a rugby is).
But like so many matches of our blessed ovoid-balled sport, getting your hopes up just leads to disappointment. And in this case disappointment looked like an almost entirely absent referee, a lack of any useful staples such as replays, and a complete misunderstanding of how the sport actually works. Oh, and it didnt even have a whistle. Not that it needed one, Rugby 15 was so bad that fans left the stadium longbefore the final whistle was blown.