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63 comments

  • Deadlock - January 23, 2009 5:56 a.m.

    I would do what any self-righteous pillowizer would do- take her out to a night on the town. Cheerfully sneak into movies (her unknowing I had cut a pillow-sized hole in the bottom of the popcorn tub beforehand.. LOL), then followed by a nice dinner (no red wine of course). She would be so impressed she would practically be ready and fluffed by that time. After hook and line, comes sinker. I get down on one knee, teary eyed, and pull out a small box from my back pocket. I take out the contents to unravel a gorgeous diamond silk cover.. just her size. Being as how I had to, unfortunately, sell my house to accomplish all this, we find a nice Red Lobster and claim the finest box in the alley. I'll wake in the morning with virtually no kinks in my neck. Ah.. what a life. If only, huh? :'(
  • Kattleox - January 23, 2009 5:49 a.m.

    I will put her in a house I have already built for her, in her own TemerPedic bed. I will feed her daily and sing sweet songs to her while drooling on myself and rocking, in the fetal position.
  • djsn1per - January 23, 2009 2:49 a.m.

    Since I am a proper gentleman and have actually taught cotillion (you know, formal etiquette and ballroom dance lessons full of balls and gala's), I know how to treat a lady (or body pillow in this case). I would first take her out to a fine dining restaurant for a five course wine dinner, then take her to a Jazz club for our musical entertainment. I would then drive her up (in the nicest of cars) to a hill overlooking San Fransico (whose true meaning has been lost in history as scholars maintain) for the conclusion of a romantic night. What a Wonderful Life (for a body pillow)

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