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For experienced button-pushers and stick-twiddlers it's easy to stroll into a game store and identify the class from the ass. We know the characters, the franchises, the publishers and the developers that are reliably associated with good gaming pedigree. And, of course, we know what we like.
But what if we were completely clueless? What if we ambled into a game vendor's establishment and felt as bewildered as a dribbling geriatric at an acid house party? What if we thought the latest console was the Sony Xbox? What if we thought Miyamoto was a car made by Nissan?
In order to steal a rare glimpse at the inner-workings of a newbie's brain, we rounded up three self-confessed non-gamers, gave them £50 each (that's like $100) and sent them into our local videogame boutique to see what they would buy. Y'know, if they were ever overwhelmed by an uncontrollable urge to get their game on. Would their uneducated purchases be predictably terrible? Hit the next page to find out...
Above: Our three noobs, Kim, Lucy and Michelle. Lucy's holding the very pink Girl's Guide To Gaming. She didn't want to buy it, though
Note: As you can see from the photo of our test subjects, they are all ladies. This was unintentional. We had hoped to recruit a more diverse line-up (ie with some men), but we couldn't find one gent that would confess to being 'clueless' about videogames. In fact, we couldn't find anyone - male or female - that genuinely knew absolutely nothing about videogames. Which was a bit of a bugger, but still kind of an interesting indication of just how widespread game exposure is nowadays. Thought we'd share that little insight with you.