Here's the thing: The apocalypse is coming. We don't know how, or what kind we're dealing with. Zombies? Maybe. Nuclear war? Possibly. Cannibalistic babies that descend from the heavens? God help us. The end of the world could be brought on by just about anything. But we as gamers have access to the greatest heroes/heroines the universe has ever known. And you know what? We're not ready to put down our controllers just because the Mayans decided to stop adding dates to their calendar.
If we were to try and halt a world-ending apocalypse, there's only one team we'd assemble to do so--one team of video game characters that would have what it takes to punch an impending armageddon in the face Bruce Willis style. So crank up this hot tune, grab some animal crackers, and check out our ultimate anti-apocalypse dream team.
Commander Shepard (Mass Effect) - The leader
Obviously. When putting together the ultimate don't-let-the-world-end squad, we need someone with experience to lead the charge. That's why we've chosen Commander Shepard. She knows what it takes to be a leader--after all, this wouldn't be her first rodeo. She did unite all organic life under one banner to save the universe before.
Shepard is incredibly versatile and capable. When it comes to talking sense into bureaucrats, punching reporters in the face, or eliminating 300,000 Batarians just so mankind can survive, she's got the guts to do what is necessary. Fem Shep is our womanly Bruce Willis. She's a no nonsense kind of lady. And she'd even sacrifice herself if it meant life could go on. What a champion.
Asura (Asura's Wrath) - The muscle
No matter what kind of bizarre apocalypse we might face, chances are we're gonna need some muscle. And there's no one better suited for the job than Asura. Seriously, he's raw strength in demigod form. Need proof? He defeated a planet-sized behemoth by punching its finger to death. And that was just the first boss fight in the game.
We imagine Asura would come in especially handy should other demigods erupt from a dormant sleep from deep within the Earth's crust. Even if that's not the sort of devastation we'll be up against, the dude has six arms and can harness his energy to launch projectiles at incredible speeds. We wouldn't dare take on the apocalypse without him.
Fox McCloud (Star Fox) - The pilot
You don't want to get caught in the apocalypse without a good pilot, so Fox McCloud is a no brainer. He's charismatic and inspirational; cocky but professional; intelligent and versatile. More importantly, he knows how to pilot a variety of vehicles, including space ships, tanks, and even submarines, all of which could come in handy when the world's under attack by zombies/nukes/Pokemon/whatevers.
And, if the whole vehicle thing doesn't pan out, he won't be a burden on the group because he's a hell of a shot with his Blaster. He's also likely to regale you with grandiose tales of his father's past adventures, which are probably quite moving and inspirational.
Mega Man X (Mega Man X) - Human cyborg relations
Considering many apocalypses occur via viral infections, adding a fighting robot to our roster of heroes is a must. We could've gone with regular ol' Mega Man, but we decided to kick things up a notch and go with the more futuristic Mega Man X. Why? Well, for starters, X is used to battling in his war-torn world, and his robot opponents are far more intelligent than any of normal Mega Man's adversaries.
More importantly, X has one thing Mega Man does not: free will. This could be the difference between salvation and annihilation (so long as, you know, X doesn't break the first rule of robotics). X, like Mega Man, is also largely valuable because of his versatility. Should the impending armageddon occur in the form of an evil machine takeover, X can absorb the powers of his foes and use them for good. Let's just hope the end of times doesn't involve an evil Aerosmith Maverick. That would be bad news for everyone.
Lucca (Chrono Trigger) - The engineer
Of course, if we're going to be dealing with ships and robots, we're going to need an engineer. That's where Lucca comes in. She's an incredibly brilliant inventor, and she can surely fix any machine that needs a tune-up. Her quirky, vibrant personality means she'd fit right in with our ragtag group of pros, and her knowledge about all things science will undoubtedly come in handy.
Plus, Lucca's Telepad invention could allow her companions to travel through time should things get a bit too out of hand once the Mayans return from outer space or whatever. Lucca, in a sense, is the most important member of the party, because her odd inventions might just be crazy enough to save the day. And if all else fails, she can light things on fire with her flame powers. And that's pretty cool, too.
Daxter (Jak and Daxter) - The funny guy (also, food)
Why Daxter? Because we need comedic relief, yo. And also because the usually goofy but sometimes annoying ottsel is incredible small in stature, meaning he could probably access otherwise impassable areas.
Imagine if the entire party got trapped in a room where loudspeakers pumped out awful noise non-stop, driving our group of saviors to the brink of insanity--Daxter would be small enough to crawl through an air duct and save everyone from certain doom. Alternatively, he'd make a great scout in the event the world's end involves organized attacks from sentient entities. But let's be honest: Daxter will be the first to get eaten should our team have to resort to cannibalism.
Bomberman (Bomberman) - The explosives expert
Demigods, Commanders, and fancy technology are great and all, but sometimes you just need a good ol' fashioned explosives expert. Bomberman's been around the block a time or two; his grace and precision are unmatched, and he has seemingly unlimited bombs at his disposal.
This would be especially useful if mankind caused its own apocalypse by polluting the Earth with so much trash that it looked like the WALL-E version of doomsday. If nothing else, Bomberman's cheerful demeanor will help keep the group in good spirit. Let's just hope there are no accidental bomb-related casualties.
Aerith Gainsborough (Final Fantasy VII) - The healer/planetary communication specialist
Aerith would make an excellent addition to our little group, assuming she doesn't get stabbed to death before things really get going. She'd be the perfect caretaker should anyone get wounded, and she has the astounding ability to communicate with the planet. Because she's... some sort of ancient alien race or whatever.
Indeed, it's her planetary communication skills that make her so essential. Not only would they come in handy for a variety of apocalyptic scenarios, but she'd also be able to wish away meteors the size of Texas just by praying really hard and manipulating the planet's Life Stream.
We know what you're thinking. "Where's Kirby?! He could just devour all the bad junk! And what about Maxwell from Scribblenauts? He could just will anything into being!" Yeah, they're too overpowered soooo... We think we've got a pretty solid anti-apocalypse squad in the works--but what do you think? Who would you take with you to save the universe from impending doom? Let us know in the comments below.
Want more apocalyptic madness? Check out the top 7 most embarrassing apocalypses in video games and what would happen if Pokemon rebelled.