Tournament of level one enemies

Watch 8 forgetfully wimpy baddies take their frustration out on each other

We decided to gather them up and find out which of these tossable twerps packs the most punch %26ndash; it took a while to track them all down, as they usually don't make it out of the "Cave of Basic Game Mechanics" on their own. So, who%26rsquo;s the toughest wimp around?

The bracket:

Why the Goomba should win: Here%26rsquo;s Goomba vs zombie fighting 101: Goombas are probably mushrooms, and zombies tend to be carnivores. Of course, it could be argued that a Goomba has a meaty brain, which would explain how a mushroom can learn to shamble from side-to-side.

To put is simply, no meat equals no eat. The Goomba should be just fine as long as the zombie doesn%26rsquo;t figure out there%26rsquo;s anything inside the mushroom%26rsquo;s cap.

Why the zombie should win: If a zombie could sense a Goomba's deliciously marinated brain-meat, we can only assume it wouldn't have any trouble rising from the grave and chewing through the supple mycelium body of a Goomba for the win. The question is: can they smell the brains?

Although zombies were once human, the transformation to undead has given them a vastly enhanced sense of smell. The average human has about 5 million olfactory receptors in their nose, while a zombie may have several times that. Dogs have over 220 million, and that's why we used a dog to conduct this experiment.

Above: And there you have it, a zombie wouldn't even touch a Goomba

Verdict: Goomba Wins!

Why the Bidoof should win: A Bidoof is basically the inbred offspring of a teddy bear and a beaver. It relies on cuteness and the pity of others to avoid being eaten by other Pokemon.

There is no reason the Bidoof should win. But we%26rsquo;d like to see it fight anyway, so we%26rsquo;ll say it should win because it has teeth.

Why the Flood parasite should win: We were lucky enough to have the chance to interview a parasite and it had this to say about the fight:

Seems like there's a lot going on in those parasites' (collective?) minds - they're more than just a hat rack!

Verdict: Infected Bidoof Wins!

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