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The Top 7... Games that physically hurt to play

Are they really worth actual pain? Clue: No

Words: on March 26, 2012
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77 comments

  • Zeos - April 5, 2012 1:46 p.m.

    I would add the original Mario Party for the N64 to this list. I remember a lot of the mini games requiring an absurd amount of intense joystick spinning and I would use my palm. I had quite a few bad blisters right in the center of my right hand quite a few times.

  • Shinard - April 2, 2012 12:40 p.m.

    Loved Sega Superstars, but my god was Nights painful. SMB had a similar control scheme, as did a couple of others I can't remember right now but Nights was by far the most agonising. (Also, that was essentially the Kinect by Sony on PS2 4 years earlier. Just sayin')

  • Japanaman - March 30, 2012 8:22 p.m.

    Geez, you guys! Some top 7 list! (I'm being sarcastic) I really need to land a job at GamesRadar so I can fix these lists. Push everything down two slots. Replace #2 with Sonic Blastman. You had to punch a giant boxing glove as hard as you could repeatedly to make it through various screens. And #1, the classic Street Fighter. Players don't only broke Street Fighter 1 machines with the pressure sensitive buttons, at least one man broke his hand. An arm wrestling game may break an entire arm, but that's if you are a weakling or don't give in. With Street Fighter, you're supposed to pound the buttons over and over and over while slamming your fist into an immovable object, the cabinet itself. Sorry, but Street Fighter gets the win here, folks.

  • robotdickens - March 29, 2012 1:17 a.m.

    The PS Vita is even more hell on my hands than my 3DS was, but it was really fun to play, so much I forgot about the pain. You should add games so terrible they physically hurt. I would add Too Human to that list as well.

  • AlpineGuy - March 28, 2012 3:18 p.m.

    Normally, I wouldn't say you 'forgot' to put in an entry, but why the heck isn't Guitar Hero On Tour on here? That DS peripheral makes my wrist cramp just thinking about it! Otherwise, good list!

  • Ravenbom - March 28, 2012 11:17 a.m.

    No classic Mario Party with the mini game that made you make circles with your palm on the analog stick and dug right the hell into your hand? Nintendo gave out gloves because it was so bad. http://www.gamesradar.com/mario-party-hits/ I was less pissed off about my palms and more pissed off about my useless analog sticks after a night of Mario Party. Also the Guitar Hero for DS with that shitty add-on makes you cramp up after one song. Track and Field on the NES was pretty hard if you tried to run in place and didn't just get down on your knees and pound the mat with your hands.

  • DrFunFrock - March 29, 2012 2:17 p.m.

    Oh man, absolutely agree with Mario Party! Was it the fishing mini game? N64 and its silly rough analogue stick, there were definitely blisters. I used to get crazy hand cramp from shooting fast on DMC too haha, but that's probably just me...

  • DrFunFrock - March 29, 2012 2:23 p.m.

    Oh and I got a weird lump on my hand after playing Wizardry 7 for hours some years ago :\

  • StoneDreadnaught - March 28, 2012 11:05 a.m.

    Street Fighter 4. Because I kept punching my stick out of frustration.

  • jmcgrotty - March 27, 2012 11:50 p.m.

    I don't have any real complaints with the list, since it had to do with pain and not functionality (While touchscreens are worthless trash to use, they don't cause harm), I do have one alternate suggestion to your list. When growing up, I had a Colecovision and Decathlon game. The way to move was to move the "joystick" in whatever directions needed (left-right to run, circles to throw hammers/discuss, etc), but the controller was absolutely brutal on your hands. For those that don't know, the joystick part was maybe 1 inch high and shaped like a mushroom or something, which meant that the way you ended up holding it usually was with the whole thing in the palm of your hand. When you started having to rapidly move it holding it that way, it quickly tore your hands apart. The blisters I got were just brutal. Pic of the controller at www.colecovision.dk/images/colecojoystick.jpg So, while you did include Track & Field/Decathalon, the Colecovision controller was substantially more painful.

  • jmcgrotty - March 27, 2012 11:52 p.m.

    *grumble grumble* Hate not being able to edit when I find a typo after hitting Post Comment. Obviously, the event is the discus, not the discuss.

  • gaz78 - March 27, 2012 11:29 p.m.

    Wow I haven't seen that arm wrestling arcade game since I was a kid in 80's. It was impossible to move for me so no chance of broken arm. Don't remember seeing any women beating it tho.

  • Squirrel - March 27, 2012 10:08 p.m.

    Where the hell is DDR?? I've had more pain from prolonged DDR sessions then a little hand cramping from Kid Icarus.

  • ludicololvr - March 27, 2012 5:24 p.m.

    Mario Party 1, I still remember the blisters those control stick spinning minigames brought *shudder*

  • Pacific - March 27, 2012 3:12 p.m.

    Sure the guy on 'Battlefield 3' doesn't just have meningitis? Can't believe you missed International Track & Field (the first one for the playstation). That was a true exercise in pain, with players groaning and gurning like a deranged ape as they tried to finish that run or swim! That is, until someone discovers the 'rub paper over both buttons alternately' method, which has been known to melt controller buttons :)

  • OccamsRazor78 - March 27, 2012 12:30 p.m.

    That Battlefield sim looks sick. Is there any way to play it??? Also, what happens when you get blasted by a tank? and how do you drive/fly?

  • Fuzunga - March 27, 2012 9:39 a.m.

    Mario Kart 7. MARIO KART FUCKING 7.

  • santaclouse37 - March 27, 2012 9:02 a.m.

    +1 for Guitar Hero, but the games that hurt me the most were my entire PSP collection (except for Street Fighter), due to that god-awful analog nub. Anyone else remember the PSP claw hand?

  • psycho ninja 4 - March 27, 2012 1:15 a.m.

    Why would you want to play an ARCADE GAME thats about arm wrestling?

  • avantguardian - March 27, 2012 12:45 a.m.

    i guess i'll be the super-cool guy that suggests dance dance revolution!(exclamation their's not mine) i remember scoffing so hard (seriously, might have been little flecks of spit)at my girlfriend for picking it up. for two days we couldn't stop playing. by day three, we were unable to get out of bed. serious, whole-body pain. in muscles you didn't even know you had. i think it even gave me shin splints... i'll also suggest any super-addictive/high-dexterity games, a la tony hawk or your fps of choice. the combination of "1 more game" and the tendency to grip the controller like you were attempting to choke the life out of it was/is a particularly brutal pairing. i remember not being able to hold a pencil one day at school after a marathon thps session the previous evening. as always, great writing justin.

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