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Things gamers don't actually care about

Wow, videogames and the things they spawn! The industry produces everything from comics to vibrating mushrooms. You could listen to advertising, fanboys and Big Videogame’s secret infrared mind-control to find out what’s worth your money, but you’d end up buying two of everything carried by your local Gamestop and half of Amazon.com. So how much of it is really worth paying attention to?


Above: Obviously, some ads are more helpful than others

If your pockets aren’t three feet deep and full of gold coins, you have to be discerning about how you spend your time and money. And with clever ads, like the ones above, it can be hard to tell what’s worth caring about. We’re constantly told in subtle, unsubtle, and hammer-on-head ways what we’re supposed to think is really great. Sometimes, it’s right on ( have you clicked on our ads yet? All those products are amazing).

Most of the time, though, the latest advertisement and cool-looking package is not even close to what’s actually good.  These are a few of the worst offenders - the games, accessories and debates that merit no attention at all, and yet they never leave us alone.



What they are: New maps, levels, guns, fix-its, expansion packs and anything else you can click a button to get from the internet.

Why you care: Playing new maps is fun. Quality content at a reasonable price can give a great game some extra life on our consoles.

Why we don’t: Buying new maps is not fun.

We know Fallout 3 is going to raise the level cap, Left 4 Dead will add more maps and Tomb Raider will get an ending; we’re just going to have to download them. If we know what the DLC is going to be after playing the game for 10 minutes, then it’s really just part of the game that was left out. Of course, we’re going to buy the extra maps anyway, but we’re not too hot about paying extra.


Above: Many ranked gametypes are can no longer be played without downloading additional maps 




What they are: Classic arcade games being re-released for you home console.

Why you care: Through the rose-colored glasses of nostalgia, the arcade titans of winter breaks past practically define an awesome era of gaming. So why not spend a few dollars to see if, like classic literature and film, great games can stand the test of time?

Why we don’t: They can’t stand the test of time. With advances in technology, games have improved more than just their graphics over the years, and polishing up an arcade classic is usually not enough to make the gameplay shine – though, ironically, the graphics do actually shine most of the time.


Above: Old is the new new

We’d list all the old games you can get from Xbox Live, PSN, Virtual Console and Steam,  but it’s boring. If you want to be bored, you can find them on the (boring) Xbox Marketplace(even more boring) PlayStation Store and so on. Suffice it to say, the number of old arcade games making a dramatic reappearance as downloadable content is staggering.

There are exceptions to the rule: Super Street Fighter II HD Remix, Mega Man 9, Bionic Commando and, umm… that other one. Those are all awesomeness wrapped in sliced bread. But, again, they’re the exception. Most of the time, retro games were only considered good because people hadn’t figured out how to make a better game yet. 

77 comments

  • peace4me - February 28, 2010 12:40 p.m.

    last love this oldie. miss you paul!
  • xchriscrossed - January 19, 2009 6:16 a.m.

    Well, I was just thinki-oh my Jesus H. Christ, is the "characters remaining" count in the thousands?! My God, I was so used to YouTube, I've forgotten what it's like to have a rational character limit. Thank you, GamesRadar, for showing me the light. But anyways, I like that whole "Boil an Egg" difficulty, it sounds pretty hardcore. It'd probably make Legendary and Insane weep uncontrollably in a dark corner, shut out from the rest of the world.
  • AddictedToGames - January 14, 2009 2:03 a.m.

    um we all care about downloadable maps there awsome man and retro games r sweet the only thing i dont care about is cheap crap like the wii zapper controller skins plush toys!
  • pornomancer - January 13, 2009 6:45 a.m.

    I care about DLC as PS owner im going to sorely miss the GTA stuffs.
  • crazy4bmws - January 12, 2009 8:34 p.m.

    I have a NFS Carbon 'Collectors' edition. I paid 10 bucks more a cardboard cover. Silliest purchase I ever made.
  • Deify - January 11, 2009 4:43 p.m.

    Great article.
  • gmilf71 - January 11, 2009 2:13 a.m.

    i haven't yet met someone who likes nicklback. they do suck though. but i think most of these features are just some bull crap trown in by developers. very very very few people, if any at all, buy these systoms for those features. also anyone who registers for an account just to whine and complain about opinions that are different from his own is a lame douce bag with no life.
  • TrigunGunner - January 9, 2009 9:16 p.m.

    Although almost all gamers don't think so, but I just so happen to like games that have unlockable art sections and such? I'm an artistic person, so I like using these sections at times to help me draw. And I do just happen to have both Okami and Shadow of the Colossus, and I think they are some of the best games I have. I would also have Castle Crashers, but I don't have a 360.
  • KdKing - January 9, 2009 8:19 p.m.

    Hey, I have an Elite! The extra memory is worth it alone for me, but the black finish is just much nicer than the tacky (IMO) white, and HDMI works well with my telly.
  • Defguru7777 - January 9, 2009 3:01 a.m.

    I agree with everything on this list but two things. I enjoy comics that expand a game's universe. Gears of War: Hollow and Halo: Uprising are really great (not the humongous delays). I also disagree about the harder difficulty. I don't like it when games make you unlock it instead of letting you play it from the start, but if it's already there, it's just an option if you want to challenge yourself.
  • fionnoh - January 8, 2009 4:39 p.m.

    i'm excited about wii motion plus, seriously, red steel 2 could be everything the i wanted the original to be. i don't really see how the ad-ons tie in with motion plus, but they still do suck.
  • EvilInkarnate - January 8, 2009 3:22 a.m.

    @ JimmyJammy LOL!! Get 'em!!
  • FredFredrickson - January 7, 2009 10:41 p.m.

    I signed up for an account on this crappy website just to say that this is one of the dumbest articles I've ever read in my life. If gamers truly did not want any of this stuff, then developers would stop making it, because people wouldn't be buying it. I am an avid gamer myself, and even I personally disagreed with almost every item on the list.
  • pogo - January 7, 2009 8:56 p.m.

    a lot of good points there
  • MP5-PRO333 - January 7, 2009 8:39 p.m.

    this was really your best article ive ever read because i truely dont care about anyh of this shit but come one megaman 9 sucked
  • kurkosdr - January 7, 2009 8:06 p.m.

    WE DON'T CARE ABOUT: System Requirements What They are: Since computers come in a much wider variety of sizes, prices and (most importantly) hardware specs and performance numbers than consoles, the system requirements is the minimum hardware combination you must have to "run" the game Why you care: Cause you have chosen to save money the last 3 years to buy yourself a midsize car, rather than foolishly spending money in buying 6 different graphics cards (one after the other) during these three years, and now you may not be able to run the latest bloat from EA sports, Codemasters and Activision. However, for some weird reason, these forementioned companies consider you should have done otherwise, because they think their games are so damn great you absolutely have to play them, whatever the cost might be (they think). Why we don't: Cause, firstly, the definition of the word "run" is not yet clear. To serious people, getting the menu to pop-up or even getting into a stage, but with terrible lock-ups and freezes, isn't "running" a game. Again, game companies think it is. Seconly, we have a console, so game companies have to adjust their game's code to the machine and not vice versa.
  • You - January 7, 2009 8:05 p.m.

    Thank you for delivering my daily dose of Vitamin Win.
  • Rattlehead - January 7, 2009 7:55 p.m.

    Is that ad real?
  • animeman - January 7, 2009 2:34 p.m.

    I think the paper cver sleeves are crap too I mean it already has a hard plastic cover.
  • bello.razak - January 7, 2009 1:36 p.m.

    nice game

Showing 1-20 of 77 comments

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