Things about games you shouldn't say in public

Unless you want to sound psychotic, of course

But we do sometimes wonder what other people in the pub think about it. Especially if they don't know that we're talking about games. There are simply some things you shouldn't say in public unless you want to sound like a psychopath. Such as...

"When the prostitute had finished, I backed my car over her to get my $50 back."

"He saw my gun and dodged the first bullet, but I got him in the back as he tried to run away."

"Her boobs were like triangles."

"I ran over an old lady and she got stuck under my car. You could see her eyes moving for a bit, but then she died."

"I started saving the little girls, but they got annoying so I killed them."

"The guy started chasing me, so I ran down an alley where the cops couldn't see and smashed his face in with a baseball bat. He only had $15"

"I cut his legs off and he was still trying to attack me."

"There's a gun hidden in the fountain."

"There's a new mushroom that lets you become a giant for a bit."

"My entire platoon was wiped out and I only had my pistol left."

"I bought her a few bikinis and took a few photos, but it wasn't very good."

"I sawed his head off. It was awesome."

"I drove my car into the petrol pump and the whole place went up."

"I had sex with the alien. Yeah, you see worse on TV."

15 Apr, 2010


The longest-serving GR+ staffer, I was here when all this was just fields. I'm currently Reviews Editor but still find time to speedrun Sonic levels and make daft Photoshop articles.
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