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The worst screenshots of E3 2009

The whole point of E3 is for publishers and developers to show off their new games under controlled conditions. You know, to demonstrate the best features while quietly brushing their flaws under a rug of PR speak.

AND YET we still get sent screenshots that look like someone deliberately picked them to make the game look bad. Look at these amazing examples of fail from this year's show - most of them from good games too.

Cars: Race-o-Rama (Xbox 360)
Last time we checked, 360 was able to render detail. The car itself is fine, but look at the background. We know it's a multi-platform game, but even Wii can do better than this.


Above: Blocky isn't the word. PS2 can do better than this. Shall we have a close-up look?


Above: Shudder

Echocromo (PSP)
There's nothing quite like a level menu to get gamers wet with anticipation.

Thing is, it doesn't end there. Can't get enough of level selection screens? Maybe sir would care to try it in yellow?

Look at all those coloured circles! Can't wait to get stuck into them. Whoever said Echochrome was monochome monotony? Oh, but wait - there's more...

Hang on... isn't this the same as the first one? Oh, apparently not. This one is 'G' tier. Obviously completely differe... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Grand Slam Tennis (Wii)
Rule number one when learning to play tennis: Keep your eye on the ball.


Above: Andy Murray would win more games if he wasn't so easily distracted by the guy selling donuts in the crowd

Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker
Even the best games can fall foul of the screenshot monkey. Never mind the gorgeous forest, the detail in Snake's face (he's even got 3D ears for Jeebus' sake). It all comes undone if you point the camera at the worst texture in the game.


Above: Even Snake's annoyed - tailed all this way by a PSone texture

Shin Megami Tensei: Persona (PSP)


Above: Joy Street must be an ironic name

Pitfall: The Mayan Adventure (Wii)

Step one: Take a blurry screenshot of an old game.

Step two:    ?

Step three:  Profit


Above: We assume this is to advertise the Virtual Console release

Pixeljunk Monsters Deluxe (PSP)
It's not enough to wait for wireless stuff in the game. Now we have to do it in press releases too:


Above: Why advertise the fact you'll need to wait for techy stuff?

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky (DS)
Take a look at the following screenshot:

What' wrong with it? 1: Pokemon aren't supposed to be able to talk (though we suppose it's a necessary evil in a game where you play as one). 2: Pokemon lore says that nobody's ever seen a Pokemon lay an egg, therefore Pokemon surely don't have 'mama's. 3: Anthropomorphising a fricking Bidoof does not make us want to play this game. 4: If Bidoofs could talk, we're sure they wouldn't be so wimpy. 5: Or stammer. 6: Or use ellipses.

This is why we're still playing too much 'proper' Pokemon.

Puzzlegeddon (PS3)
No point buying the game - you're only going to fail.


Above: Wahey!

Red Steel 2 (Wii)
Motion Plus control? Check. New graphical style? Check. Lead character the size of a chicken? Check, and double check.


Above: The enemy may be tall, but look at the ground and the barrel too

Spectrobes: Origins (Wii)
You will play with your cube. And you will enjoy it, dammit!

RUSE (Xbox 360, PS3)
Here's a classic. Look at the screenshot first, which is, in itself, dull as ditchwater with a Morrissey CD floating in it:

You know a screenshot's dull when the PR company has put it in a frame to make it more interesting. But there's more. Each one of this game's screens came with a commentary file. Here's the one for this shot:

So that building's now invisible, is it? You mean the most conspicuous thing in the picture that even a particularly myopic mole couldn't fail to spot from 1000 yards? Riiight. Note to real soldiers: Camouflage only works if its colours match the environment. 

Touch Mechanic (DS)
We don't need to say anything here.

Vandal Hearts: Flames of Judgement (360)
Wow, this one gets two entries it's so good. First up - a nice two-generations-old-looking game screen. Fair enough as the game is a follow-up to a PSone 'classic'. But still, there are more interesting things to show than a brown field with a rock. And a green... thing.

But then there's the cut scene art style:

Oddly enough, that's exactly the look we had on our faces when we saw this screenshot.

Watchmen: The End is Nigh (360/PS3)
Want people to buy your game? Show them a gimp man with big nipples!

Not big enough? OK, then - just for you...


Above: Surely the only thought this image conveys is 'RUN!'

You, Me and the Cubes (Wii)
And finally, the most exciting game select menu we've ever seen. You can play alone, with a friend, or practise either of the above. That's variety.


Above: Oh, wait, you can go back to the title screen. That's another whole option. You do want to see the title screen again, don't you? I miss it

09 Jun, 2009

10 signs you're playing too much Pokemon
Are you addicted? Find out here!

 

Bizarre size screw-ups in games
Did someone get the cm and inches muddled up?

 

More of the best worst screenshots ever
Screenshots so bad they're good

30 comments

  • HeavyShockWave1 - October 12, 2009 10:47 p.m.

    i usaully dont want to purchase a game if its shown with that guy and a dead hooker laying down
  • albinomonkey90 - August 21, 2009 2:15 a.m.

    lol at touch mechanic
  • noofer7 - June 15, 2009 4:02 p.m.

    This was funny. But why do you guys hate Pokemon spinoffs so much? Just because the script was written for kids doesn't mean the mystery dungeon ones are bad games. If you actually PLAY them, instead of just saying, "oh, this is a series we don't like, give it a 5," you'd find that they're actually pretty good.
  • familyguy829 - June 14, 2009 9:30 a.m.

    Honestly, the Red Steel 2 screen shot alone and caption leads me to believe you didn't really read into any of these games just selected random "crappy" screen shots, Justin. I've seen the game play of Red Steel 2 and numerous other's and these screens are taken seriously out of context.
  • disturbedanomaly36 - June 12, 2009 11:23 p.m.

    i want to see a screenshot of a loading screen, that would be the dumber than a "connecting to Xbox Live/Nintendo WiFi/Playstation Network" screen
  • bonerachieved - June 11, 2009 6:39 p.m.

    o yes this is epic
  • NipplesTheSuperHippo - June 10, 2009 3:42 a.m.

    AMAZING!!!!
  • animeman - June 10, 2009 12:24 a.m.

    I do agree that the Pokemon Mystery Dungen games are retarded. But the "real" ones are good.
  • PinkLenny - June 9, 2009 7:07 p.m.

    ^^^is that Brock Samson?^^^
  • ELpork - June 9, 2009 6:48 p.m.

    .....wow, snake next to the shipping container made me laugh really hard.....
  • Defguru7777 - June 9, 2009 6:28 p.m.

    MY EYES!! These really do suck. Thank you, GamesRadar!
  • norid - June 9, 2009 5:37 p.m.

    " you WILL play with your cube. And you will enjoy it, dammit" LOL XD Another great article by Justin
  • Unoriginal - June 9, 2009 4:49 p.m.

    @Gunslinger And yet we have things like the PSP Castlevania: Rondo of Blood. Hilarious article
  • Hurricrane - June 9, 2009 3:35 p.m.

    I can officially say now that Vandal hearts is going to be my game of the year, hands down
  • Hurricrane - June 9, 2009 3:34 p.m.

    now I can officially say that Vandal Hearts is going to be my game of the year
  • FalconMbuster - June 9, 2009 3:11 p.m.

    Ugh... why would they show anything that isn't a battle scene in Persona? That looks dreadful.
  • oryandymackie - June 9, 2009 3:07 p.m.

    One word. PS1.
  • MechGyver - June 9, 2009 2:28 p.m.

    Take a look at those nipples!!!!........felling wet yet?
  • SenorChunky - June 9, 2009 1:27 p.m.

    It Looks Sooo Bad, developers should choose their screen shots carefully!
  • KingEamon - June 9, 2009 1:17 p.m.

    Touch mechanic FTW!!!

Showing 1-20 of 30 comments

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