The world's most generic game character

Attention lazy designers! Construct a sci-fi grunt in six steps...

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Killzone

Halo

2. Sometimes they've got glowing bits attached to them - see Haze's Mantel soldiers' arms and the TimeShift guy's chest.

3. Big, fat, stupid guns that weigh more than a child and have loads of extraneous 'bits' attached - to remind you they're futuristic.

4. Futuristic body armour - sometimes, oddly, a bright colour to make it 'stand out', thus attracting loads of attention from your enemies. Almost always equipped with enormous shoulder pads and mechanical codpieces. The armour is purely aesthetic - it protects the wearer for about two shot's worth of fire max.

5. Batman-inspired moulded six packs. Amazingly common, yet stunningly pointless. Used to boost a character's macho-ness. Designers reckon six-packs mean a man has cojones.

6. Nowhere to keep guns - body-hugging armour is designed specifically to accentuate every rippling muscle, you see. Adding lumpy gun holsters would detract from all that intensive rendering on the body model. Bah.

2. Sometimes they've got glowing bits attached to them - see Haze's Mantel soldiers' arms and the TimeShift guy's chest.

3. Big, fat, stupid guns that weigh more than a child and have loads of extraneous 'bits' attached - to remind you they're futuristic.

4. Futuristic body armour - sometimes, oddly, a bright colour to make it 'stand out', thus attracting loads of attention from your enemies. Almost always equipped with enormous shoulder pads and mechanical codpieces. The armour is purely aesthetic - it protects the wearer for about two shot's worth of fire max.

5. Batman-inspired moulded six packs. Amazingly common, yet stunningly pointless. Used to boost a character's macho-ness. Designers reckon six-packs mean a man has cojones.

6. Nowhere to keep guns - body-hugging armour is designed specifically to accentuate every rippling muscle, you see. Adding lumpy gun holsters would detract from all that intensive rendering on the body model. Bah.

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