The Top 7... worst video game ports that should've been taken out back with a shotgun

The crappy conversions of great games that deserved a mercy killing

Words: Games_Radar_DaveMeikleham on September 6, 2010

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slickmcwilly - September 6, 2010 1:56 p.m.

I was the one who inspired the mercenaries article! anyway, great top 7 mr. meikleham
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meg127 - September 6, 2010 12:59 p.m.

Well. Since I like the PS3 and you 'bashed' PS3 versions of games I guess I should yell BIASED!!!!!
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Montag - September 6, 2010 12:30 p.m.

I had Pacman on the Woody bought for my christmas present when I was a kid. Was pretty cack. Could I add Deus Ex invisible war for the xbox? PC version wasn't great but xbox was nasty
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Fiirestorm21 - September 6, 2010 12:08 p.m.

You gave PS3 Orange Box a dishonorable mention, but honestly the frame-rate issues were never that bad in my experience. Haven't tried Bayonetta on the PS3, but if you want to see a bad PS3 port job, just check out the original FEAR. Audio got so f--ked up you couldn't hear characters talking over background machinery.
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myguyfromthe80s - September 6, 2010 11:43 a.m.

@fusionmix I sold Saints Row 2 (PS3) as better than GTA 4 to my mate who only owns PC. I wondered why he hated on me until I played it...
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Fusionmix - September 6, 2010 11:35 a.m.

The PC port of Saints Row 2. Dear god. Good thing I only got it for $4.
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myguyfromthe80s - September 6, 2010 11:33 a.m.

Civilisation II on the Playstation. An entire 15 blocks to save, mammoth loading and saving times, graphics worse than 8 bit.
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myguyfromthe80s - September 6, 2010 11:25 a.m.

Oh and you missed the Double Dragon port on Nintendo One player at a time?!?!?!?
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myguyfromthe80s - September 6, 2010 11:24 a.m.

I paid £12.99 for Street Fighter II on my Spectrum 128k +3 The cassette was 60 minutes long, side A loaded the main game. For a VS Battle, Once you picked your character(s) the tape continued until it found the file. Side B was the backgrounds. You had no tape indicator to tell you where each one was. Once the fight was done, you had to reload part of side A to get back to the menu Oh and you try doing a 'ha-do-ken' using the keyboard. Don't get me started on the 7 discs Amiga version.
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asdjhjkqw - September 6, 2010 11:20 a.m.

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oneshotfinch - September 6, 2010 10:53 a.m.

That ZX Spectrum port of SF2 looks pretty terrible if you ask me, I'd have knocked it up to number 3 or 4. Other than that it's a good list.
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tareq - September 6, 2010 10:25 a.m.

Did you really have to bring up Resident Evil 4? =(
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oufour - September 6, 2010 10:08 a.m.

back when ps3 ports were half assed. i remember that...though bayonetta was earlier this year. well, that was just shit programming.
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chrisbg99 - September 6, 2010 9:58 a.m.

I was alive in 1982. For about 41 days but I was alive.
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CH3BURASHKA - September 6, 2010 9:47 a.m.

Yet another solid Top 7. I've heard about the epic fail Pac-man for the 2600 was. The rise and fall of gaming during that era is a fascinating time in history; a complete bell curve of success and crashing failure like that reminds me of something like Scarface. Mercenaries 2 has one redeeming factor: it was discussed on Talkradar and was the catalyst for a great entertaining segment.
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papergoon - September 6, 2010 9:43 a.m.

Aww that's unfortunate! But totally agree with no. 2 and 3. Love these top 7 posts
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