THE SFX WEEKLY SPURIOUS AWARDS

New for Fridays – a random set of awards for SF and fantasy oddness. This week: Lost , Merlin , Ghost Whisperer and more

BIGGEST INSULT OF THE WEEK:

“If there’s one thing Gwen might wish for, it’s that she could be just a little bit prettier. With her wonky teeth, uncooperative hair and glasses, not even the most charitable person could call her beautiful. She secretly wishes that someone would see beyond the obvious and like her for the person she is...but in Camelot, she doubts that will ever happen.”

Erm… in how many ways is that description just so wrong? Not just factually (glasses?) but downright insulting*. The internet backlash has already begun, and indeed posters on Syfy’s own forums forced the network to remove the most offensive comments from the write up. (* Even if she had been a bit plain, which she quite clearly isn’t – she looks pretty darned attractive to us.)

WORST DRESSED SF STAR OF THE WEEK:

Jennifer Love Hewitt (Mel) in Ghost Whisperer has been sporting a decidedly dodgy wardrobe for a couple of seasons now, but could hardly be accused of a consistent style. A couple of weeks back she looked more upholstered than dressed in a all enveloping affair that appeared to be made from a left-over sofa covering and made her look like a prim schoolmistress. This week was a complete turnaround with an outfit that seemed to be inspired by anime teenage schoolgirls.

BOOK TITLE OF THE WEEK:

Chicks Dig Time Lords

MOST POINTLESS PHONE CALL OF THE WEEK :

“Is SFX interested in running some coverage on a documentary about flamingos?”


PURPLE PROSE OF THE WEEK
:

“Seurat’s seriousness would have made him very empathetic toward the often-misunderstood creatures of night.” From the book, Learn How To Draw Like The Masters: Vampires

QUOTE OF THE WEEK :

“It’s a collaboration. A collaboration between handsome gifted people, and sickly mole people.” Robert Downey Jnr at the Oscars, describing the filmmaking process

UNWEILDY DVD TITLE OF THE MONTH:

The Return Of The Six Million Dollar Man And The Bionic Woman – once we’ve printed that in the mag there’ll be space left for about 10 words of review

CREEPIEST SINGING OF THE WEEK:

Claire’s rendition of “Catch A Falling Star” in Lost – the Perry Como classic transformed into a dark incantation of fear and foreboding. Lost also wins for “most unappetising looking fruit” of the week. It’s eaither plastic or been sprayed with something toxic…