The most clueless box blurbs in history


You know, game publishers are always shoving their front cover art at us - usually trying to talk us into writing it up as if it's actual news as if it has any impact whatsoever on how good the game is - hello, sports games! But they almost never show us the back of the box. That's because the back is where the slick, suit-wearing liars-for-hire from marketing try their best to convince you that you need this game. Never mind that GamesRadar gave it a 2 out of 10 - the theme song is from a band who once covered a Puff Daddy tune. That's got to mean "must-play" right?

Above: You know, if they have to say that, it's almost never true.

They're good at this stuff, too, with their bullet-points and their doctored screenshots that often look nothing like the actual game. But sometimes, they screw up. They find themselves forced to write about boring features, they accidentally admit their game is just the same as any other or they say something that even a six year-old with a rudimentary grasp of the alphabet can tell is baloney… and we love when that happens because we get to call them out. Over the next few pages, we'll show you some of the best - by which, we mean worst - back-of-box blunders we've seen in recent years.

Two points before we continue: first, not all of these games are bad - some, like EverBlue 2 and Phantom Brave, actually rock. But their boxes suck. Secondly, this list is by no means exhaustive - it's just a small sample of the crap the ad boys stamp on the package to try to steal your dough. You'd think they'd learn. Or we would. But we're apparently all too stubborn. Oh well - in the meantime, we've got plenty to laugh about. 

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  • VirAetas - December 15, 2010 10:30 p.m.

    Thank you, Nick that was informative. But to Eric, this article was really funny and I read a number of them aloud to my girlfriend who also enjoyed them. This could be a contender for the annual article along with worst box art(which I am very much looking forward to.) TO THE WELL!
  • nicksayswatzup - December 7, 2008 10:21 p.m.

    uh... first?

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