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The creepiest new Pokemon from Black and White

Before Black and White arrived last month, there were 493 pocket monsters clogging the fields, caves and streams of the Pokemon universe. Each creature comes with its own official description, some of which are... well, honestly they're pretty messed up. We already identified the most disturbing offenders last year, but now, with 156 new Poke-men running around, there's a brand new batch of hideous critters to stare at and wonder, "why would they write that??"

Chandelure

Official description: "Being consumed in Chandelure’s flame burns up the spirit, leaving only the body behind."

In the real world, the worst fate you can suffer from a wild animal is a slashed torso, maybe a ripped throat or some other kind of physical damage. In the Pokemon world, apparently your SOUL can be assaulted, burned and destroyed. Who the hell would ever go outside with these things floating around?

 

Garbodor

Official description: “It clenches opponents with its left arm and finishes them off with foul-smelling poison gas belched from its mouth.”

At long last, man's arrogance towards the environment has spawed its greatest enemy: Godz...er, Garbodor! I love how descriptive this entry is, going so far as to specify which arm clenches its prey and that the poison gas smells terrible. Despite being a ball of sentient trash, I think Garbodor is kinda cute, and actually looks a tad like Totoro...

 

Scoliopede

Official description: “Highly aggressive, it uses the claws near its neck to dig into its opponents and poison them.”

Based on the description alone, this sounds like many bugs and animals in the real world. Nature is a rough place, so yeah, critters are poisoning each other and shredding limbs and so forth. But what makes Scoliopede particularly nasty is the fact he's listed as EIGHT FEET TALL and 440 pounds. If just ONE of these things got loose... that's the end, people.

Topics

Pokemon

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58 comments

  • Pokemetal - May 1, 2011 12:43 a.m.

    I find the second sentence in Deino's White version Pokedex entry to be a bit creepy: "Its body is covered in wounds."
  • Smeggs - April 26, 2011 8:37 p.m.

    Well, Elgyem isn't really creepy, but I do so love his description. It basically points to Elgyem being the UFO that crashed down in Roswell, which is what I nicknamed mine.
  • Y2Ken - April 26, 2011 5:05 p.m.

    I remember finding that description of Yamask a bit odd.
  • rxb - April 25, 2011 7:49 p.m.

    Yeah, cool pictures. Some of those stories aint right, the devs got carried away.
  • RFswitchBlade - April 24, 2011 6:34 a.m.

    Gothita always creeped me out not because of her description, but because of what she's based on; lolicon.
  • CreepersOnSpeed - April 23, 2011 6:06 a.m.

    Some older Pokémon are worse. My favourite is Misdreavus and Giratina, but there's also MewTwo.
  • tankdempsey - April 22, 2011 11:02 p.m.

    wow the first one was just wow... im scared to pick up my DS
  • GameManiac - April 22, 2011 8:28 p.m.

    I actually have a Chandelure and a Scolipede. I already knew they sounded malicious from their Pokedex descriptions.
  • 510BrotherPanda - April 22, 2011 5:58 p.m.

    I would still be willing to have a Scolipede as a pet. It's like a bug in the shape of a horse! That can probably eat actual horses! But you can only stroke its head; hugging the neck is a recipe for disaster... I, like Henry Gilbert, still refuse to refer to Garbodor as "cute" or "looks like Totoro". Because: 1. It lacks a friendly animal nose. It's a trash bag instead. 2. Its ears are not animal ears; they are putrid looking poop-broccoli things. 3. It has tentacles of poop and piping for arms. 4. One of its special Abilities, Stench, is designed to make people and Pokemon flinch/vomit. You don't even want to be NEAR it. 5. It can NOT summon a cat-bus, ride a flying top, or grow giant trees. It is designed for poisoning, purification, and infection. 6. It is basically a solid-waste version of Muk, who is already pretty gross.
  • egregious - April 22, 2011 5:41 p.m.

    Yamask is... *shudder*
  • NightCrawler_358 - April 22, 2011 4:26 p.m.

    Yamask is seriously messed up. No joke, thats really friggin disturbing.
  • Yaro - April 22, 2011 1:18 p.m.

    The illustrations are awesome. And the revelation that people can become Pokemon is actually pretty weird. Maybe ALL the pokemon were once human, maybe every person becomes a pokemon after they die...and when they die (as pokemon) they go human again! Dayum!
  • WTeen8 - April 22, 2011 1:02 p.m.

    @ BlueEevee Well.....It's been cited that Unova is based off New York so...Those Japanese, pouring salt in our wounds...salt that is in the form of a cartridge..
  • Metagross - April 22, 2011 11:48 a.m.

    No Kyurem ? It brings people to it's lair and EATS them
  • philipshaw - April 22, 2011 10:42 a.m.

    Awesome feature Brett,I have to agree with all of these
  • jackthemenace - April 22, 2011 10:06 a.m.

    Man, I thought the Slenderman was creepy, but now I have to be terrified of my (sisters pink) OWN DS!?
  • ChickenFillet5140 - April 22, 2011 8:21 a.m.

    Wow, Yamask is officially the creepiest pokemon ever in my opinion. Getting killed by a pokemon only to become one? Count me out.
  • iFeastOnAntista - April 22, 2011 6:14 a.m.

    Great art, btw! Really nicely done. I'm not sure y'all do artwork of this caliber very often, but I really like it.
  • iFeastOnAntista - April 22, 2011 6:10 a.m.

    I agree that the garbage poke man looks like Totoro. Nice reference. :)
  • NanoElite666 - April 22, 2011 5:21 a.m.

    On the topic of the Yamask... http://www.awkwardzombie.com/index.php That is all.

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