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So, UK tabloid shit-rag The Sun continues its glorious tirade of heroic bloodshed against the 3DS. Comprising serious, cutting-edge journalism and in no way a simple flailing attempt to cash in on Google rankings by creating stories with popular search terms following the 3DS' launch, The Sun's campaign against Nintendo's little handheld vomit-generator and burner-out of innocent children's eyes today makes use of a SERIOUS SCIENTIFIC TEST to prove just what an eldritch hellspawn terror the seething little bastard is.
Also, it's a hilarious load of old cobblers and I'm now going to kick the crap out of it. Who's coming with me? It won't take long, I assure you. In fact in the interests of brevity, I'm simply going to reproduce chunks of The Sun's test, conducted by professional doctor Carol Cooper and professional man-in-a-shirt Lee Price, along with my own commentary. My bit is the orange bit, in case that isn't clear at any point.
THIRTY MINS: Blood pressure 127/72, pulse 66. Lee: I sat on a sofa and feel OK so far - a slight headache, but nothing extraordinary. Carol: Seems fine so far.
ONE HOUR: Blood Pressure 130/74, pulse 69. Lee: I stood playing. Carol noted slight nystagmus, where your eyes race from side-to-side. Carol: First sign of a side-effect, caused by your eyes taking something in your body can't feel.
It's tricking the senses in a way.
ONE HOUR 30 MINS: 135/80, pulse 82. Lee: Playing as I walk idly down the street. My figures have gone up. Carol: If this was your resting rate, I'd recommend you saw a GP about high blood pressure.
LEE'S VERDICT: After two hours, it's time to put it away.
CAROL'S VERDICT: Children should not be left to play on it for hours.
Anyway, that's my appraisal. Anything else you'd like to add?
Source: The Sun web site
April 6th, 2011
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