You have no problem wearing fanciful armor in games, but would it do you any good in real life? The results may shock you...
So, Namco Bandai has just announced Ivy's Boobs: Part 5 (Oh come on, you know the main point of interest in the Soulcalibur series these days is watching in transfixed horror to see how much worse it mangles and caricatures the female form with every intallment). Previously rumoured, the official reveal came this morning at an event in Dubai. Matt came into work late today. He claimed he had a dentist appointment, but he's looking pretty tanned. That Soulcalibur t-shirt is new as well... Potential editorial deception aside though, the main point is that Soulcalibur V is happening. There will be more details at E3, but we have a smattering of appetisers for you right now (both good and potentially bad), and a shakycam of the trailer from this morning's event, in lieu of a better quality version probably arriving later today. So click on, damn you!
A few weeks ago, someone named UltimusMormon claimed he had invented “bubbling,” a strategic method of altering photos to make girls in bikinis appear totally nude. Inherent creepiness aside, we were admittedly impressed by how well it actually works, and manages to trick your brain into thinking “hey, she’s naked!” Possibly NSFW pics inside. Well, probably technically safe for work but it's best to keep this to yourself.
Anything that accentuates the male scrotal evil is automatically evil. Like ‘Hitler on a bad moustache day’ evil. Because the human Johnson is clearly an inherently terrible thing, it should be concealed at all times, only be broken out under extreme circumstances. Perhaps, if you need to tie a rope around it to pull a car with, in order to break some sort of World’s Strongest Wang record. That’s why, simply put, the following banana hammock-harbouring characters deserve nothing less than virtual vasectomies.
The Wii is the home of clueless casual gamers, housewives and grannies: fact. Ok, so that’s not entirely true, but there’s no doubt the aforementioned groups have helped propel the little white box into the sales stratosphere. But while they’re undoubtedly the backbone of Nintendo’s current business model, there’s only so long they can last on Wii Sports and Wii Fit. That’s why we’ve taken some of
In the context of a game, Achievements and Trophies are harmless. They're just carrot-dangling tactics that we're happy to indulge for our greedy pursuit of intangible virtual rewards. We wouldn't think twice about nail-bombing a kitten orphanage if it meant five more gamer points.But, let's say, purely for the purposes of this here article, that we take Achievements and Trophies out of their virtual world settings and reconsider them
Any old Tom, Dick or Harry with a comprehensive grip of computer programming and loads of money-men friendly ideas can spew forth a game that’ll sell a shit-load of copies. With that in mind, and a science stick gripped in one hand, we’ve come up with full-proof calculations on how to make the perfect moolah-making game for most of the major genres. Below you’ll find the perfect titles that’ll make any suit sully his
Sometimes, games are so good we say they're 'good enough to eat'. That's usually not strictly true, of course - DVDs, Blu-Ray discs and the human mouth do not mix. But what if games were turned into candy bars? Now there's an idea.If our Photoshop attempts are anything to go by, there's a huge market of untapped potential just waiting for some entrepreneur to take a lucrative bite. Just try not to dribble on the keyboard,
The human form really is a beautiful thing – provided you spend 6 hours daily in the gym and exist solely on Ryvita. If not, it’s something to be covered up, ashamed of and never discussed. Sadly, many developers have no such qualms with nude, fleshy parts. They see games as the perfect forum to roll out a bit of man boob action and unappealing, exposed ass flesh.Got a strong stomach? The following collection of bloated
You wouldn’t think that soft mounds of flesh would provide a stable foundation for anything. And yet, these videogame franchises have built their houses atop just such rollicking hillocks of... oh, forget it. Just watch the video. Fair warning: it might be NSFW, depending on what you consider S in your place of W.
Barack Obama. The most important politician in a generation. A peerless orator. Winner of a historic election. And exceedingly effin hard to recreate in every create a character mode we could find. You’d think the current leader of the free world’s unassuming features would be easy to make with the plethora of chin, forehead and septum sliders most games now have. Wrong.Not only did we fail to craft convincing Obamas, we
You know, we've been playing with Ivy for almost exactly eight years now. And yet every time we play, we're still taken aback by quite how big her boobs are. Ivy is a Big Girl. So, seeing as her boobs seem to be getting bigger with each new game, we thought we should examine them in more detail. We were going to go with science. You know, to work out exact things they were as big as, the ratio of boob size to head size
The requisite opening taunts are out of the way and the players hold perfectly still, beads of sweat forming on furrowed brows while white knuckles clutch brightly colored joysticks. The intensity, the sheer focus could suffocate a small mammal.
Feast your eyes on this arty video, where we've slowed down some of our favourite games to a crawl thanks to the wonder of video editing. It's amazing.