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Serious Sam 3: BFE revealed, wife to get 'tit job'

"Cover is for amateurs," reads Croteam and Devolver Digital's announcement of Serious Sam 3: BFE, the next title in the favorite series of twitchy trigger fingers. The game is a prequel to 2001's Serious Sam: The First Encounter, and is set in 22nd century Egypt during Earth's final battle against Mental’s insuppressible throngs of beasts and mercenaries, one of which, at least, looks like a Boomer who ate another Boomer just before meeting Robert Rodriguez:

"Serious Sam 3 is about pure fun and unfiltered action," said Davor Hunski, chief creative officer at developer Croteam. "We wanted to expand on everything gamers love about the series while adding some genuinely unique new features to really enhance the mayhem Serious Sam is known for."

And what are those features? Well, lucky for us, Croteam has released a list of them, and since bullet points are easily digestible, have at it:

Frantic Arcade-Style Action – The calling card of the Serious Sam series, hold down the trigger and lay waste to a never-ending onslaught of attackers or face being overrun by Mental’s savage beasts. No cover systems, no camping – it’s just you and them. All of them.

Mental’s Fearsome Legions – A new battalion of unforgettable minions including the rumbling Scrapjack and towering Khnum join the legendary Headless Kamikaze, Gnaar and Sirian Werebull. Your days of mowing down zombie Nazi space pirates are over.

Serious Melee Attacks – When an enemy slips by your wall of lead and pain, use one of the all-new innovative melee moves to drop an enemy right where they stand in the most violent way possible.

Pure Multiplayer Mayhem – Play through the full campaign mode with up to 16 players or drop the gauntlet and let the heavy ordinance fly in versus modes like Deathmatch and Beast Hunt. This is the next level of Serious Sam multiplayer and all hell is about to break loose.

"Holy crap, I am going to make a boatload of cash off this game," said Fork Parker, chief financial officer at the game's publisher, Devolver Digital, and apparently actually a guy named Fork Parker. The CFO continued his fictitious rant, saying, "I mean that’s what this is all about, right? If this thing comes out in the summer my wife is totally getting the tit job she’s been asking for."

When fictitiously asked for further comment, Parker fictitiously responded, "Bam. Tit Job." Oh you guys...

Little makes boobs less appealing than the phrase "tit job," but never mind that. Serious Sam isn't about tits, it's about killing a lot of stuff, and Serious Sam 3 looks to be continuing that legacy. The game scheduled for release on "PC and game consoles" this summer - check out the first batch of screens in our viewer. Tit job.

Feb 28, 2011

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21 comments

  • cosmicshambles - March 1, 2011 6:36 p.m.

    'Bum Fuck Egypt'? So not 'Beyond the First Encounter' then? I'm so unhip with my sensible acronyms.
  • asspills - March 1, 2011 6:58 a.m.

    FFFUCK YES!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • marioman50 - March 1, 2011 5:30 a.m.

    Fake breasts are disgusting to begin with...
  • JourneyToSilius - March 1, 2011 2:29 a.m.

    They havent revealed what BFE stands for, but now that I read the description of where the game takes place, Egypt, they made it too easy to find out. Just google the acronym BFE... "Bum fuck, Egypt", as in the middle of nowhere in egypt ;) Thats a pretty awesome title!
  • FOZ - February 28, 2011 11:59 p.m.

    There are Gnaars right there in the screenshots. They just have smaller teeth. Plus Gnaars are one of the best parts of the HD version.
  • QWERTYCommander - February 28, 2011 11:36 p.m.

    I played First Encounter, but Gnaars have to be some of the scariest monsters ever. I couldn't play it anymore because those Gnaars kept scaring the shit out of me when they ran towards me. If SS3 doesn't have Gnaars, then I'm definitely getting it, because everything else was awesome. And those screenshots look amazing.
  • FOZ - February 28, 2011 10:24 p.m.

    I played First Encounter but at some point inside Memphis the game just stops even trying to present a realistic challenge and throws never-ending hordes of bullshit at you while you strafe around giant, boring, square arenas. Obviously Croteam isn't id, but if they want to pull off that many enemies and still have it be entertaining, they need to study DOOM II.
  • Redeater - February 28, 2011 10:06 p.m.

    Also for anyone who likes this kind of game I suggest giving Painkiller a try. The first one for pc. That game was pretty fantastic.
  • Larinah - February 28, 2011 9:53 p.m.

    This announcement made my nipples like pencil erasers. The return of classic shooters with badass main characters! Woo! Here's hoping they bring back the freaking hand cannon.
  • hughesta - February 28, 2011 9:35 p.m.

    This. Is. Amazing news.
  • Triscuitable - February 28, 2011 9:30 p.m.

    What I mean is, I'm missing SS3 because it's not out yet. Otherwise this game is on my PC, getting the shit played out of it.
  • Triscuitable - February 28, 2011 9:28 p.m.

    Tyler, I know what I'm not missing! Everything that isn't this! WAHOO! SERIOUS SAM 3! LET'S GET SERIOUS! WAHOO!
  • CODHERO23 - February 28, 2011 9:13 p.m.

    NINTH!
  • claytonmiller - February 28, 2011 9:01 p.m.

    @jackthemenace Bah, you kids and your fancy "snap to cover" systems. Back in my day, when you went up against insurmountable odds, you took bullets like a man, and you liked it!
  • StrayGator - February 28, 2011 9:01 p.m.

    Bulletstorm, PK Redemption, DNF, Rage (potentially) and now this... I love you 2011.
  • GarcianSmith - February 28, 2011 8:57 p.m.

    The original was an awesome co-op experience - to my younger self it was how Doom 3 should've turned out... Looking forward to this, then!
  • IIIIIACEIIIII - February 28, 2011 8:56 p.m.

    My days of shooting Nazi Zombie Space Pirates haven't even begun. I want to shoot Nazi Zombie Space Pirates before I play Serious Sam.
  • GamesRadarTylerWilde - February 28, 2011 8:50 p.m.

    You guys don't know what you've been missing. Go play First Encounter! I demand it!
  • jackthemenace - February 28, 2011 8:49 p.m.

    to be honest, the fact that it says "No cover system" is very offputting. I hate the kind of Run-and-Gun, Spray-and-Pray shooters. But, i'll give the demo a shot and see how it is.
  • batmanboy11 - February 28, 2011 8:45 p.m.

    Cool beans.

Showing 1-20 of 21 comments

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