Reinterpreting gaming's most egregious mistranslations

The mistranslation: This guard clearly means to say “I fell asleep,” having startled himself awake from a quick nap on the job.

What it COULD mean: This guard is distraught and depressed, and potentially in need of a mental health professional. He sleepwalks through life in a sedate malaise, uncaring of the meaningless distinction between his slumber and his miserable waking life. How so very Kojima.

The mistranslation: Japanese translations often result in mistakes regarding the English “l” and “r” sounds, due to those sounds being similar in Japanese. This anthropomorphic pilot means to express his disbelief that he’d actually be flying a plane one day, much less over an exotic location.

What it COULD mean: He’s a fighter pilot, and he’s keenly aware of what he’s getting into. And he’s not optimistic about his chances. He thinks he’s about to be shot down on his next mission, his plane exploding and him drowning in flames. Pretty morbid.

The mistranslation: Congratulations. This story now has a happy ending, thanks to you. And, truly, getting to the end of Ghosts ‘n Goblins is an accomplishment worthy of congratulations.

What it COULD mean: There are all sorts of directions I could go in with this, but let’s choose the most family-friendly: These words aren’t spoken by the developer, they’re being uttered by the protagonist, Sir Arthur, to his love interest whom he just rescued. He’s congratulating her for still being alive, having been the only one to escape his homicidal rage after the killing spree he’s been on for an indeterminate amount of time.

The mistranslation: General Kawasaki, your character’s boss in Ikari Warriors, is thanking you for your bravery in your service to the village of Ikari. He’s sincerely grateful.

What it COULD mean: Given the amount of other grammatical errors in this message, it’s reasonable to assume that some punctuation is incorrectly placed and that there may be some typos resulting from phonetic confusion. “I would express my sincere. Thanks to you.” should read, “I would express my sins here, thanks to you.” Functionally similar, but strengthening the General’s point, he’s grateful to you for once again making Ikari feel like a safe and comfortable place, one where he’s willing to admit his misdeeds to the entire population.

The mistranslation: One of the more famous examples of humorous mistranslations, this message is intended to say something to the effect of “You are the winner,” or “you win.” It refers, of course, to the wrestler you just controlled and won a match with.

What it COULD mean: This is actually an intentional statement, with a more penetrating idea of what games are and how we interact with them. It refers not to the character you control, but you, the player, and tells you that you’re just one of the many players who successfully navigated the game’s rulesets in order to win a match.

The mistranslation: To be honest, there are a few ways this could be interpreted. Most likely, it’s intended to say “The Flames of Satan,” or “Satan’s Flames.”

What it COULD mean: It could just be referring to one really bad flame, one far more evil than the rest, and one who potentially controls some sort of purgatory for other flames. But I like to believe it’s actually referring to “Santa’s flames,” meaning Santa Clause’s romantic pursuits from before he met Mrs. Clause.

What do you think? It’s possible I was reaching with a lot of these, but with so many sterling examples of amusing mistranslations, it’s wrong to assume we have every single one of them pegged.

But I’ve only scratched the surface here. Do you have any interesting theories regarding what characters may or may not have said in the past? Let us know in the comments!

And if you're looking for more, check out 11 games that need sequels (and why they aren't getting them) and The most obvious weak points to attack for massive damage.