Red Dead Redemption promotes the subjugation of horses

It’s not easy being a horse, especially a diabetic horse who works for GamesRadar. I don’t mean to complain, but every time my boss finds something remotely animal-related in his inbox, it’s always “Hey Buttercup! There’s a new ‘I Love Horses’ game. Want to write the review?” or “Hey Buttercup! You know about sharks, too, right?” Right. Well, I’m sick of it, you hear me? I may be a horse, but I’m as much of a hardcore gamer as the rest of my non-equid colleagues at the office. But I digress.

Today, new screenshots for Red Dead Redemption were released. At first glance, it looks like Rockstar Games is trying to reach out to its hardcore horse fan base by releasing sizzling screenshots of sexy beasts. I mean, just look at the sweaty haunches on that American Salerno. That mare’s just asking for someone to take her for a long ride, if you know what I mean. Do you know what I mean? Anyhow, take a closer look at these new Red Dead Redemption images; it seems that there’s something more insidious about these seemingly innocent game assets.

Above: We’ve seen how glamour shots of human girls in bikinis worked on weak minded young men when Tecmo was promoting Dead or Alive: Paradise. But is there more to these shots of hot horses looking all hot and bothered?

Above:  Here we see a fine black beauty subjugated by a stranger. She was once a free creature, but will soon be serving some douche bag in a hat for the rest of her years. Does that seem right to you?

Above: Another grotesquely detailed image of an innocent mare coerced into submitting herself to the will of her future non-horse master

Above: When will the violence end? Here’s even more anti-horse hate mongering that further romanticizes the enslavement of a free being

Above: These horses are dudes, so this image doesn’t bother us as much. How do I know they’re not maiden mares in distress? Trust me. I’m a horse

Above: A horse has about 50 times more muscle in its rear-right calf than the average human gamer has in his entire body - and yet the average human male can’t walk 10 miles without getting a blister. Does this seem fair?

We contacted Rockstar Games to see if anyone would be willing to help us put these graphic images depicting horse bondage into context, but our calls were not returned.

May 11, 2010

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  • Oddeh7 - May 21, 2010 4:36 p.m.

    Meiks just shot a horse and skinned it, Buttercup. MEIKS SHOT A DAMN HORSE AND SKINNED IT. What will you do?
  • zigs - May 18, 2010 1:56 p.m.

    I fucking love B Buttercup's articles so much. Always make me laugh :)
  • Turboash - May 13, 2010 8:04 p.m.

    If I ever play this game, I vow to kill every horse I see (bar my own).
  • philipshaw - May 13, 2010 12:12 p.m.

    B Buttercup is back,about time he wrote another feature
  • adrock2099 - May 13, 2010 3:11 a.m.

    Gamesradar requires more articles from B. Buttercup.
  • Cyberninja - May 13, 2010 12:11 a.m.

    i will never play this game now
  • Leadman - May 12, 2010 10:41 p.m.

    Horses are punk bitches and notorious racists
  • Oddeh7 - May 12, 2010 6:09 p.m.

    @FreekinIdiot: Barry. Or this: reCaptcha: beaman wing
  • Tenfey - May 12, 2010 3:24 p.m.

    Fight the power. On horseback. Since it gives you a tactical advantage.
  • TFUPrivateIron - May 12, 2010 3:06 p.m.

    @cccitkSS: Go back to IGN where you came from. We don't want you here.
  • ccitkSS - May 12, 2010 2:37 p.m.

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  • ccitkSS - May 12, 2010 2:33 p.m.

    ===== ==== Air jordan(1-24)shoes $33 Handbags(Coach l v f e n d i d&g) $35 Tshirts (ed hardy,lacoste) $16 Jean(True Religion,ed hardy,coogi) $30 Sunglasses(Oakey,coach,gucci,A r m a i n i) $16 New era cap $15 Bikini (Ed hardy,) $25 FREE sHIPPING ====== ===== (JORDAN SHOES) (Air_max_man) (Nike shox) (JEANS) (HANDBAGS) (TSHIRTS) (Jacket) (tshirt) (True Religion) (Hoody)
  • krabsich - May 12, 2010 2:20 p.m.

    don't worry, B. i promise to exact great vengeance (and furious anger) on any wanton horse cruelty ingame. but can i be mean to the cows? i like smackin' em.
  • FreekinIdiot - May 12, 2010 12:59 p.m.

    Hey B Buttercup, what's the B stand for in your name?
  • crumbdunky - May 12, 2010 9:44 a.m.

    Meh, I'm with the French on this one- a nice horsemeat steak hache is the best way to deal with the equine no brains. Make some useful glue out of the rest of the carcass and you're set-race 'em, make 'em jump for our entertainment but NEVER respect the idiots. Bloody horses.
  • 510BrotherPanda - May 12, 2010 6:50 a.m.

    Ha ha, a horse making a huge dick joke. Classy. Why aren't graphics good enough these days to make different horses? The muscles on the black one and the white one are identical; the skin is just a palette swap. It's just like those ninja guys from Mortal Kombat.
  • batman5273 - May 12, 2010 6:46 a.m.

    welcome back to the blog, errr i mean activity stream, Buttercup.
  • WrathLord03 - May 12, 2010 6:16 a.m.

    I thought horses liked bondage...Crap, I gotta let those sexy beasts in my cellar go... As you can se, I am looking forward to this game A LOT. Thanks Buttercup, although this leads me to believe that you must be broken in as well. Clearly you liked it.
  • IamNOTatalkingpony - May 12, 2010 5:48 a.m.

    Dear lord!!! These pictures have made me feel sick. I dont know if my mind can unsee these cruel images...*sob*
  • HyperPoweredHighFive - May 12, 2010 5:26 a.m.

    Haha such a great article. This is why I keep coming back to this wonderful site.

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