Portal: Real-life turret sings and senses intruders

Stop. It's time to face facts. Yes, your bedroom has a fairly powerful computer in it; and yes, those Batman figurines are pretty boss. However, a few hundred bucks' worth of consumer product does not a “secret lair” make – you need to stop calling it that. Also, don't try to acquire yourself one of Portal's delightfully friendly sentry bots to protect your not-a-lair... because while they DO exist in the real world, they've already been bought up – and if you're not Cliff Bleszinski, it probably wasn't by you.

Above: “No Photoshop work here,” promises the turret's creator


This painstakingly recreated Portal sentry turret talks, sings, senses your presence and emits a suitably eerie red laser, but it's sadly incapable of pulverizing intruders with automatic weaponry. What kind of half-assery does DIY whiz Ryan Palser – whose Flickr log details the expertise that went into building the turret – call this anyway? Only two turrets have been built – the second having been snapped up by the Gears of War designer, who's cagey about how much he paid. He's probably just embarrassed to have paid more than $60 for a robot that can't even kill anyone.

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  • Averagegamer18 - May 22, 2011 5:38 p.m.

    Okay that is probably the coolest thing I have ever seen. I need one not want NEED
  • TopNewt - May 22, 2011 3:51 a.m.

    This is awesome!
  • Aletheon - May 21, 2011 9:56 p.m.

    Put 10,000 of these along our border to the south.
  • BlindMarksman - May 21, 2011 9:51 p.m.

    I know many people want these things to obliterate someone unwanted, but i'd be happy if it at least shot some kind of projectile, like Paintballs or even water bursts perhaps.
  • NullG7 - May 21, 2011 9:05 p.m.

    Now now now... It might not be to hard to give these bad boys a few upgrades
  • SadFace - May 21, 2011 2:43 p.m.

    Yeah, that's a "do want" for me.
  • taterboob - May 21, 2011 6:40 a.m.

    Wow. I was just talking to a guy at work today about how much I wish somebody would make one of these. Too bad there's only two.
  • quincytheodore - May 21, 2011 6:37 a.m.

    I'll hug her, walk her, bring her to everywhere I go.. I'll even name her, I don't care if people call me crazy.. I want her
  • YuGiOhisbetterthanMagic - May 21, 2011 6:04 a.m.

    Were do i send all my money to get one of thesse?
  • BackwaterRifle - May 21, 2011 3:40 a.m.

    @BleedingHatMcGillicutty You wont kill yourself, no balls. Actually what I just said was dumb, don't kill yourself. Why must all the good stuff be impossible to obtain.
  • UberNoob - May 21, 2011 3:10 a.m.

  • BleedingHatMcGillicutty - May 20, 2011 11:55 p.m.

    Why did you even tell us about this? It's just going to make us upset that we can never attain one. I'm killing myself now.
  • Fro4show - May 20, 2011 11:30 p.m.

  • The_Tingler - May 20, 2011 10:30 p.m.

    Brilliant, but I was hoping it was going to sing the turret opera instead!
  • diddly - May 20, 2011 10:27 p.m.

    Good purchase by Cliffy B there hahah lord knows if I had the money I would have done the same thing!
  • Thequestion 121 - May 20, 2011 10:24 p.m.

    This is so totally awesome!
  • BrunettePride - May 20, 2011 10:10 p.m.

    That is just... I don't even.... GIVEITTOME. :O
  • mockraven - May 20, 2011 10:01 p.m.

    Nice work, there. I watched the flickr slideshow, too. That took a lot of love and care to make. You really have to appreciate that kind of work. Love it!
  • 8bitBaby - May 20, 2011 9:52 p.m.

    oooh! that's pretty cool. I don't blame cliffy, but it is too bad it doesn't kill tho.
  • chrisat928 - May 20, 2011 9:40 p.m.

    MUST HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Showing 1-20 of 21 comments

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