An open letter to the Extra Life DDoS attacker(s)

To the sir(s) and/or madam(s) who disrupted a charity event for hospitalized children, seemingly for shits and giggles:

Shame on you.

On the morning of November 2, 2013, thousands of people from around the globe--myself included--participated in a 25-hour gaming marathon for a charity called Extra Life. Some donors gave thousands of dollars; others only a handful. But all of them did so in effort to help save the lives of sick children--children like Victoria Enmon (see video below), a young woman who didn't survive a grueling battle with Leukemia, and whose touching story served as the catalyst for Extra Life's creation.

And while all those charity participants rallied for a truly magnificent, heartfelt cause, you, sir(s) and/or madam(s) were hitting the Extra Life website with a Distributed Denial of Service (DDoS) attack, purposely overloading it and shutting it down so that no one could donate. I can't help but wonder: What kind of high or excitement can one possibly derive from stalling a program meant to help hospitalized kids? Try as I might, I cannot fathom a scenario in which denying the money needed to save the life of a baby born the size of a smartphone is in any way enjoyable.

Shame on you.

I mean, here we were in the GR offices, streaming and twerking our hearts out for the children in an attempt to get our viewers to donate. Some did so willingly and with haste. Others agreed to after a bit of prodding, acknowledging that their Taco Bell money would probably be better spent helping a bedridden child walk again. Or helping pay for a kid's cancer treatments. Or helping ailing toddlers, struggling with afflictions most of us cannot even comprehend, achieve some sense of normalcy. And then when these folks tried to fork over some cash, surprise, surprise--they couldn't.

But it was just a funny joke, right? I mean, that's why you only stopped donations dead in their tracks for a few hours instead of the full 25. Oh, and by the way, the hours during which the Extra Life website wasn't getting figuratively shit on by some inhuman asshole(s), participants managed to push the fundraising total to an astounding $3.7 million in donations. I can't help but wonder: How much more money could've been raised had you, sir(s) and/or madam(s), decided to get your rocks off by skinning cats, or whatever the fuck else you do in your free time, instead of interfering with a global charity event?

Again, shame on you.

I don't really believe in hell, but if I did, I'd like to think there's a special place waiting for you there, a magical land in which "I Gotta Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas plays in an endless loop for all eternity. I envision this place to be wreathed not in hellfire, but a damp cold, just chilly enough to make you wish you had a jacket. And in this hell, there are three rules you have to follow at all times.

First, you must always mimic Miley Cyrus's signature tongue thing; look it up and try it. That shit hurts after a couple of seconds. Second, you're only allowed to breathe through your nose, with a sense of smell that's been amplified a billion times over (an inconvenience, considering the room in which you reside is constantly filled with fresh had-too-much-to-drink-last-night beer farts). And finally, just when your body begins to crumble under the weight of exhaustion--once the song, the cold, the tongue thing, and the beer farts numb your senses--Satan himself shoves a Senzu Bean down your throat, just so you can experience everything all over again, as he whispers delicately in your ear, "hey, that was a nice piano recital." Why? Doesn't matter. Welcome to hell.

Okay, shame on me.

To the sir(s) and/or madam(s) involved in the DDoS attack, I don't actually wish you any harm. I guess it just really upsets me that your fun Saturday activities (unknowingly, perhaps? It doesn't matter now) will likely spell doom for at least one sick child; maybe more.

That being said, it also fills me with hope to know that so many gamers banded together, pulled up their sleeves, and made a difference in the lives of those less fortunate. It blows my mind that despite your interference, dear sir(s) and/or madam(s), $3.7 million in donations are headed to Children's Miracle Network Hospitals around the world, where that money will help sick kids keep walking, breathing, living.

To the sir(s) and/or madam(s)--for the final time... ugh. I can't even expend the energy to type it.

And to all the awesome people out there that kept on gaming, streaming, and donating: You're great, and you did an amazing thing for someone else that they will be forever grateful for.




  • kwfree - November 7, 2013 7:08 p.m.

    How about we sniff out these low lifes and publicly ridicule them, open letter GREAT but chances are they don't care to read it.
  • winner2 - November 5, 2013 4:32 p.m.

    This infuriates me in a way only a select few people could understand. Don't worry Ryan, if there's a hell, they'll get there eventually.
  • pl4y4h - November 5, 2013 4:02 p.m.

    That's so sad
  • JustAnotherRogueAI - November 5, 2013 3:44 p.m.

    "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.” ― Mahatma Gandhi
  • theguyinthecloset - November 5, 2013 3:06 p.m.

    When they where DDoS'ed, they tweeted and facebooked it and it went viral for a few hours. Every gaming news outlet sent the message. Because of this, I believe that they colected more money like this. I'm not excusing what they did, it was wrong, but in the end, I am sure, the good outweighted the bad. Someone even more cynical than me could even say this was a publicity stunt by someone realated to EL or just a Black Hat with this intent, but I think that was too risky a manoeuvre to attempt.
  • Earthbound_X - November 5, 2013 2:47 p.m.

    I'd have to think, that the people who did this, hate themselves more then anyone else could. I don't mean that they feel bad, but they just have such low self esteem, why else would anyone do something like this? No happy and well adjusted person would do something like this.
  • GOD - November 5, 2013 2:35 p.m.

    Humanity still survives, as the many many people who gave their money to support this cause heavily outweigh the sentient pile of shite that brought the donation site down.
  • combatcasualty - November 5, 2013 1:56 p.m.

    I think the worst punishment for these people would be having to face their friends and families after being identified as the culprit. Having to be seen by those closest to them as someone not only capable of willfully denying sick children their health and their lives but someone who worked towards this premeditated attack and persisted, presumably gratified by their actions. No one could deny this person is a monster, immaturity is not even a consideration at this point. I hope there is cause for an investigation and some sort of federal legal precedent against interfering with a charity organization at the very least to find and convict these people at least socially if not legally. I want these people to look at their parents, grandparents, children, aunts, uncles and cousins and have to see the disgust and rejection in their eyes. To feel the cold disdain of the shamed and disappointed family members who once loved them. Unfortunately this is becoming almost normal in this internet society where anonymity allows what would otherwise be impossible. Can you imagine the sort of reactions if this person tried this publicly? Outside of any legal action it would kill any chance of a career, relationships or any other social connection. This person would become hated and targeted; despised. Personally I support functions like real ID where people can be made responsible for their actions online. I have nothing worth hiding and as a disabled combat Veteran who does not take rights violations lightly after fighting so hard to preserve them. However I do believe we could benefit from an internet regulation that has some sort of backend identifier that at the very least makes it easier to trace individuals to inhibit this sort of thing.
  • Earthbound_X - November 5, 2013 2:49 p.m.

    Here here!
  • TokenGamesRadarFurry - November 5, 2013 9:26 p.m.

    ^ This.
  • Curiousity - November 5, 2013 1:51 p.m.

    I know I am young. But I asked my parents to let me spend 50 bucks of my allowance to spend on EL. I couldn't do it. DDoS. That just made me cry a little.
  • awinnerisjew - November 5, 2013 4:48 p.m.

    You can still donate that $50 to the Children's Miracle Network. You can do it online or in a lot of brick and mortars. I don't know if you're in the U.S. but Stater Bros. supermarkets, Rite-Aid pharmacy and Save-Mart/S-Mart are almost perpetually taking donations for CMN. St. Jude's is also an extremely good alternative that does the exact same thing, just for more select hospitals. Don't let one person's horrible actions deter you from supporting such a worthy cause, otherwise, the terrorists win.
  • Sinosaur - November 5, 2013 1:09 p.m.

    What I wish upon people who take childish actions that hurt others, I don't wish harm I wish understanding. Understanding how much your actions hurt other people, and I don't mean just knowing that your actions did but true empathy, is one of the most horrible sensations to experience, especially because you know you deserve to feel like that. I'm going to assume the people responsible for this are kids (or teenagers), or they are at the very least on that emotional level, because being that pointlessly cruel to real people shows a complete lack of maturity. This gives me hope that someday in a year, two, five, ten, they'll have that moment when they realize what their actions actually meant. I don't want it to have to come because they or someone they care about becomes sick and needs help, but I do want them to have that moment. Then I hope that from that, they grow. It is my genuine hope that this somehow leads in the long run to the childish individuals becoming better people who go out of their way to try to make up for their mistakes. Because no matter what suffering they go through, it won't change the past, but it could change the future. I've said it a lot over the last few days, but thank you, GR (and especially Ryan and Zach who were there the whole time) for putting all this together and keeping on even through the rough spots. You guys are awesome.
  • TheMcFinder - November 5, 2013 12:27 p.m.

    Humanity is doomed.
  • TokenGamesRadarFurry - November 5, 2013 11:20 a.m.

    There are some pretty pathetic people in the world. I generally don't wish ill on people, but seriously, to the person/people behind this script-kiddy level of immaturity, I hope you meet a terrible, horrible end.

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