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Mature games remade for the Wii family

The average Wii-playing family is made up of clueless casual gamers, housewives and grannies: fact. OK, so you might get the occasional core gamer in there fending off starvation with No More Heroes or Metroid. But there’s no doubt it's the aforementioned family types that have helped propel the little white box into the sales stratosphere. While they’re unquestionably the backbone of Nintendo’s current business model, there’s only so long they can last on a malnourished diet of Wii Sports and Wii Fit. That’s why we’ve taken some of gaming’s most violent, unsavory or just downright controversial titles and given them a family-friendly retooling. Your Gran’s gonna love it.



Grand Fit Auto


Combat those calories with Niko Bellic and Brucie Kibbutz in Rockstar’s Grand Fit Auto. After the peerless success of its morally dubious crime capers, the developer has decided Wii gamers should be able to join in the fun. There’s no need to worry about subjecting your overweight offspring to violence, though, as the only thing you’ll be fighting on the streets of Liberty City is those excess pounds. And thanks to the Balance Board, all those car jackings and assassinations have been replaced by carb workouts and aerobics.


The Wii family seal of approval




Not So Brutal Legend


Visionary developer Tim Schafer brings his unique and creative talents to the Wii with his latest project, Not So Brutal Legend. Hot on the heels of the PS3 and 360 games, the Wii version subtly tweaks the heavy metal-inspired adventure for gaming families everywhere. And where Eddie Riggs and other rock stars once conquered demons with their brand of ear-bleeding ballads, now they play instruments like the ukulele, keyboard and triangle, as they try to brighten up the lives of the residents of an old folk’s home.



The Wii family seal of approval


41 comments

  • mEgAzD - November 12, 2009 12:10 p.m.

    Last family seal of approval: genius
  • D4rk2triker - November 12, 2009 12:39 p.m.

    The horror, the horror. PLEASE, MAKE IT STOP.
  • rxb - November 12, 2009 12:53 p.m.

    Funny article. That is all.
  • Hurricrane - November 12, 2009 1:21 p.m.

    ROFL, "Dancing really helps me forget my senility" best line I've heard in a while
  • idlemindkiller - November 12, 2009 2:32 p.m.

    Good stuff. None for me thanks!!!!
  • CARLINNIT - November 12, 2009 2:37 p.m.

    fan. tastic.
  • bamb0o-stick - November 12, 2009 4:12 p.m.

    Who needs sex when you can sing some hymns?
  • Xplosive59 - November 12, 2009 4:15 p.m.

    so this is what gaming has fallen to... shame
  • dahsif - November 12, 2009 5:33 p.m.

    Eww...Jessica.
  • QWERTYCommander - November 12, 2009 5:43 p.m.

    The scary thing is that some of this might happen.
  • Forrest22x - November 12, 2009 6:03 p.m.

    i thought it was gonna be Party!!! at the end of each title. ZING!
  • Conman93 - November 12, 2009 6:56 p.m.

    Lol at the soul caliber one. Awsome article one of my favourites
  • CatrParrot - November 12, 2009 7:13 p.m.

    Dumbing-down otherwise mature games and putting them on the Wii for more profit? This could become a standard. @QWERTYCommander: I totally agree with you.
  • noblehouse - November 12, 2009 8:55 p.m.

    The problem I find these days is people think you have to have one OR another console. Why can't you have more? They all have their good and bad points. I like DS, Wii, PC, Xbox and Playstation, looking to get a PSP soon too. Instead of being single-minded and prejudice try a little of the best of each. Works for me.
  • Corsair89 - November 12, 2009 9:01 p.m.

    Ivy wearing a sweater XD
  • Cyberninja - November 12, 2009 9:02 p.m.

    it would be great if they made a great joke article about playstation or xbox
  • IronicBob - November 12, 2009 9:14 p.m.

    How about Imagine Theoretical Physicist with Gordon Freeman?
  • Turbobison - November 12, 2009 10:48 p.m.

    This made my day.
  • Metroidhunter32 - November 12, 2009 10:51 p.m.

    Funny article. Exagerates how kiddy the wii is enormously and would be terrifying if it actually happened but every bit as clever as I've come to expect from you guys.
  • vigeoman - November 13, 2009 12:59 a.m.

    hahahaha my new favorite article

Showing 1-20 of 41 comments

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