Mature games remade for the Wii family

The average Wii-playing family is made up of clueless casual gamers, housewives and grannies: fact. OK, so you might get the occasional core gamer in there fending off starvation with No More Heroes or Metroid. But there’s no doubt it's the aforementioned family types that have helped propel the little white box into the sales stratosphere. While they’re unquestionably the backbone of Nintendo’s current business model, there’s only so long they can last on a malnourished diet of Wii Sports and Wii Fit. That’s why we’ve taken some of gaming’s most violent, unsavory or just downright controversial titles and given them a family-friendly retooling. Your Gran’s gonna love it.

Grand Fit Auto

Combat those calories with Niko Bellic and Brucie Kibbutz in Rockstar’s Grand Fit Auto. After the peerless success of its morally dubious crime capers, the developer has decided Wii gamers should be able to join in the fun. There’s no need to worry about subjecting your overweight offspring to violence, though, as the only thing you’ll be fighting on the streets of Liberty City is those excess pounds. And thanks to the Balance Board, all those car jackings and assassinations have been replaced by carb workouts and aerobics.

The Wii family seal of approval

Not So Brutal Legend

Visionary developer Tim Schafer brings his unique and creative talents to the Wii with his latest project, Not So Brutal Legend. Hot on the heels of the PS3 and 360 games, the Wii version subtly tweaks the heavy metal-inspired adventure for gaming families everywhere. And where Eddie Riggs and other rock stars once conquered demons with their brand of ear-bleeding ballads, now they play instruments like the ukulele, keyboard and triangle, as they try to brighten up the lives of the residents of an old folk’s home.

The Wii family seal of approval

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  • Link555 - November 21, 2009 10:16 p.m.

    hahaha, total exageration though
  • AssBurgersFTW - November 18, 2009 9:18 p.m.

    MY EYES- THERE MELTING! but the article is amazing... another great GR original
  • maddmadAt0m - November 18, 2009 12:47 a.m.

    funny, but i think the hitman-spoof family reaction is in bad taste
  • crumbdunky - November 16, 2009 8:55 p.m.

    When will you guys stop playing to the gallery and can the same old Wi nonsense. There's some great games on the console and more coming. Sure I wouldn't want one as my only console but as part of your gaming line up they can be great. I wouldn't have missed Madworld, Extraction,Z&W, CBoomblox, De Blob,Muramasa, NMH, MetroidPrime3, Punchout!!, Brawl, SMG and a good few others for quite a lot of the fine brewed beverage originating from China-and is there a MORE hardcore game on the horizon than Sin and Punishment 2? Not for me there ain't and only a crazy desperado with nothing to lose would suggest otherwise! Be that desperado I dares ya. Be him! That kind of previously Japan only til appearing years later on VC crazy assed shooty, shooty is the stuff "core" is made of and you should know that by now. Yes, there's a ton of fluff and nobbly bomsence on the Wii-but there is on PS2 as well and we ignored that pretty well so don't be so alarmist you reactionary dogs! Besides, picking on the Wii's soft underbelly of casual gaming grans is rapidly becoming the games media equivalent of gathering new born St Bernard pups into a sack before casually kicking them to a bloody pulp. You can consider yourselves warned. And how. Watch yourself GR, watch yourself. Maybe not today maybe not tomorrow but soon and for the rest of your life you'll regret your "lighthearted" jibes at an innocent cconsole and it's unfairly treated new demographic. We were all casual about this thing once you know-even me(VERY hard to believe with my reputation I admit but it's true nonetheless)and yes, even you at GR. None of us were born with controllers in our tiny hands now were we? We didn't all refuse to leave the womb because we were all in the middle of a Doom marathon LAN party with the other unborns on the maternity wing so stop it, K? Lets mum, dad and gran, little bro and baby sis grow their gaming horns in peace just as you were allowed. It's only fair.
  • infected123 - November 16, 2009 8:32 a.m.

    the gta one should have been about not breaking laws and have missions like "drive safely to work" and "do jury juty"
  • Russianred90 - November 16, 2009 2:28 a.m.

    not so brutal legend made me die laughing great article
  • eskabo - November 15, 2009 1:46 p.m.

    Gamesradar should do something like this with Wii games getting a M rating. Imagine party babies Rated M
  • oryandymackie - November 15, 2009 11:46 a.m.

    Is it wrong that I would buy some of these games?
  • SolidSpartan - November 15, 2009 6:53 a.m.

    I would so buy Grand Fit Auto for my mom. Need For Legal Speed Limit sure would help my grandma drive better though.
  • bilstar - November 14, 2009 7:43 p.m.

    What if these "casual/hardcore" markets eventually, heavily crossover? Rockstar may be doing GFA as we speak... Really though. If I was in the market for a fitness thing, GFA would get me every time. Fitness with dark humour, dodgy geezers, helicopters, guns AND prostitute murdering? Beats the Hula-hoop.
  • DLSemen - November 13, 2009 5:19 p.m.

    why is everyone in those pictures where so much striped clothing? jesus, they look like Where's Waldo.
  • realybored666 - November 13, 2009 4:57 p.m.

    lmao at the last picture
  • Styrophoamicus - November 13, 2009 4:26 p.m.

    The saddest part is that some Nintendo employee is going to read this and be like 'OMG that's genius!' The most likely candidate: Need For Legal Speed Limit. I've already seen a game called (i kid you not) 'LEGAL Street Racing' (Not for the Wii mind you). What hath Wii wrought?
  • spookysocks - November 13, 2009 3:34 p.m.

    Lol, don't give Nintendo ideas.
  • PrierAdmirer - November 13, 2009 3:34 p.m.

    Funny article. Although the uncanny resemblance to very possible toned-down Wii games is frightening. What if these company actually like the idea? End of world?
  • AyJay - November 13, 2009 10:29 a.m.

    I hate articles like this. You do realise that there already is a Bully game on the Wii?
  • mertor3190 - November 13, 2009 8:22 a.m.

    Hilarious! Where the hell do they get all these Wii players pictures.
  • solidsnake_5552000 - November 13, 2009 4:51 a.m.

    Discover what's in Jessica's jumper... (option blocked)
  • Smeggs - November 13, 2009 3:04 a.m.

    The Ivy joke was almost an offense of galactic proportion, her giant globes are the center of the solar system after all, without her guns the sun and all other planets wouldn't rotate around us.
  • doomdoomdoom - November 13, 2009 1:59 a.m.

    Nintendo is evil They want to make the world cute and cuddly again. World Peace my ass.