If games were more like their film adaptations

Film taking from games is annoying, but pray it never comes full circle

But it got us thinking. What if certain franchises started taking inspiration from the cinematic clunkers they inspired? It's already started with a few of the visual effects in Silent Hill, but what if it went further?That thought got us scared, so we worked out our fears through Photoshop. First up, Resi 6 would get really awkward:

Resident Evil

"Just ask Jill. I was totally there at that Nemesis fight in part two"

"It was part three"

"Shit"

BloodRayne

Minigame! Because after being directed by Uwe Boll, vampire Meatloaf just can't see vegetarianism the same way again.

Doom

The above screenshot would encapsulate the entire game. Because as we all know, there are no demons (or references to Hell at all) in Doom. All it really needs in order to be amazing is a climactic fist fight with an ex-wrestler.

Mario

Come on, Bowser stopped being scary decades ago. A CG rendered Dennis Hopper in full Frank Booth mode would really make the plumber work for the win. In fact let's base the whole of the next game aroundBlue Velvet, with Mario as Jeffrey and Peach as Dorothy. It'd be emotional scar-free fun for the whole family!

Street Fighter

It'd be hilarious. They could make a really crappy version of the game using crappy digitised versions of the crappy actors in the crappy first movie. It'd be crappy! No, wait, hang on a sec, they actually did that, didn't they? And lo, the innocence of the world was lost forever...

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Long-time GR+ writer Dave has been gaming with immense dedication ever since he failed dismally at some '80s arcade racer on a childhood day at the seaside (due to being too small to reach the controls without help). These days he's an enigmatic blend of beard-stroking narrative discussion and hard-hitting Psycho Crushers.
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