So, EA has recently announced that it's going to roll out a small chain of EA Sports stores across the US. Not strictly a bad move, if a little unexpected. But it got us thinking. If this starts a trend of games publishers and developers setting up their own retail establishments, where is it going to end? What will they sell? What will their shops look like? How will their gaming legacies and company manifestos come through in the way they run things? So as is traditional, I threw together a few ideas and photoshopped them up until they made me laugh. So check them out over the jump. Just don't try to make the photo-SHOP pun, because I've already used it in the strapline.
Bobby Kotick's sweet shop
Bobby should have a whole chain of sweet shops by now, but every time he acquires a new one to rebrand he closes it down within a week.
The Bethesda Mall
It's bloody huge in there, and there's a hell of a lot to buy, but much of the stock is shoddily put together and all the shopkeepers look the same.
Microsoft's Square Wheel Emporium
What's that? You have a bruised arse and it's taking you twice as long to get where you're going? That's a brand new experience only available via the magic of square wheels, that is.
Sony's shop of empty shelves
Sony's shop should be thriving, but they never switch the security cameras on and someone keeps forgetting to lock the back door at night.
Nintendo's Olde Franchise Shoppe
All top quality merchandise, but they haven't done a stock rotation in years.
Peter Molyneux's innovation store
"The most innovative products, provided to you in the most innovative ways possible." In truth it's basically just a shop, and nothing you're waiting on ever seems to come in when they say it will. And that John Cleese is such a pushy salesman.
June 16, 2011