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Guardians of the Game Industry
As a gamer, when I see a blockbuster movie filled with a cast of interstellar misfits like Guardians of the Galaxy, I naturally start to imagine how the movie might look with gaming characters holding the lead roles. That's not weird, is it? I mean, we've all done it with one movie or another, right?
Think of it: a movie about a comic book that is cast with video game characters. I dont think you can get more fascinating than that. Its like geek-ception. Great, now I have the Inception song stuck in my head. While I deal with that issue, check out my take on this epic movie, gamified.
Nathan Drake as Star-Lord
A dashing tomb raider with a heart of gold? Check. Sentimental about family heirlooms? Check. Not only is Uncharteds thieving hero quick with a joke, hes also a ladies man who travels the world in search of fortune. Also, dont forget his burning desire to figure out the truth behind his ancestry.
Drake is no stranger to the mercenary life, and he would fit right in with the rest of the Guardians crew, as long as they dont mind him randomly climbing the interior of the Kyln. He may not have dealt with aliens specifically (yet), but Drake knows his way around ancient antiquities that could potentially destroy the world. And while hes definitely the sort to fight his way out of a scrap rather than talk his way out, I have a feeling he would do amazingly well in a dance-off.
Garona Halforcen as Gamora
Garona may not have been built as a living weapon, but being bred as a half-orc half-draenei assassin is about as close as youre going to get in the Warcraft universe. In World of Warcraft, Garona has climbed the ranks of the rogues guild to become their leader, but she started out in much the same place as Gamora, a slave to the whims of her creator, forced to kill those she respected against her will. You know, the usual heartwarming stuff.
Garonas version of Gamora would no doubt include much less almost hand-holding with the Star-Lord, and instead deal much more avenging herself on her father. And instead of seeking unspecified adventure in galaxy, I expect Garona to head straight for Azeroth the first chance she got, to make sure she can take care of business back home now that she has some strong allies at her side.
Kratos as Drax
There have been few men in the gaming world who have less of a sense of humor than God of Wars Kratos. Not that he isnt justified in his dour outlook on life. Hes lost his wife and daughter (*cough* by his own hand *cough*) and has been enslaved to the gods for a decade. Vengeance, bloodshed and death are his hallmarks; he elevates violence to an artform. Really, there is simply no one better suited to take on the role of shirtless badass than this son of Sparta.
Kratos and Drax have a lot in common, but their motivations are very different. So when given the chance to befriend a ragtag band of misfits, Kratos would most likely decline, and would probably kill them for good measure. This leaves no one to save the galaxy from Ronan and his ilk, which I guess makes for a very short movie. Way more blood and gore though, so theres that.
Daxter as Rocket
Daxter is an Ottsel, which is obviously a genetically created hybrid of an otter and a weasel (duh). Although he didnt start out as a rodent, Daxters personality and more weaselly traits really fit his new body. Yes its true that most of the time Daxter is out for himself, and is pretty cowardly, but when it comes time to rescue his ol pal Jak in his eponymous adventure, Daxter straps on his bug sprayer and heads into danger.
Dax would most likely have some tough times with the more technical parts of Rockets job, since hes not known for his smarts. He might learn a thing or two about tinkering from Tess though, which means he could come up with some crazy solutions to the Guardians problems. And since Daxters used to riding high on Jaks shoulders, Groot shouldnt been that big of a stretch (unless Groot is actually stretching, that is).
Elderoot as Groot
Sentient trees dont get near the playtime they deserve these days. Why it used to be that you couldnt throw an ent without hitting a treant, but times have changed. Who has the raw power and sheer goodwill to stand tall as the paragon of all things leafy? WildStars Elderoot, thats who. Sure hes ancient, but this cyborg tree created by the Eldan hasnt lost his luster over the millennia. In fact hes got nary a silver leaf on his head.
What he does have is an irrepressible desire to help out the denizens of Everstar Grove, and that drive would serve him well through adventures aboard the Meridian. Sure he cant technically move like Groot can, but he has the power to be able to infuse life into others, thus ensuring his friends will always have the aid they need. Plus, theres always container gardening. Youd just need a really, really big pot.
Saren as Ronan
As far as Turians go, Saren from Mass Effect is a model citizen. Distinguished in military service, the youngest Turian ever to join the Spectres youd think this is a guy whos going places. Well he is, if Genocide Alley counts as a destination. Sarens hatred of humankind sets him on a distinctly corrupted path, and he can be firmly counted as a member of Overreacters Anonymous when he decides that all humans should die because they want entrance into the Citadel ahead of other species.
Sarens drive to annihilate another species fits in rather well with Ronans accusation of the Xandarian people. He also is quite fond of searching for artifacts that will wipe out entire peoples. Hes just thorough like that. The only issue I see here is that Saren would probably prefer surrendering to a higher power than taking out his boss directly, but who knows what sort of schemes will pass behind that zebra-striped faade when he gets his hands on the infinity gem.
Vi as Nebula
League of Legends Vi takes the idea of body augmentation to a whole new place. While shes not a cyborg per se, shes modified her hands into massive gauntlets even Thanos would be jealous of. One could say Vi certainly packs a punch. Now in the role of Nebula, you can be sure Vi will use all the experience gleaned from her time the Fields of Justice. Shes an assassin after all, so hand-to-gigantic-metal-hand combat is definitely up her alley.
And her constant bickering with Caitlyn isnt that far off from the I hated you least attitude Nebula portrays with Gamora. The role of Nebula isnt all that story intensive either, which gives Vi plenty of time to pull off a heist or two while shes waiting for Ronan to decide how best to destroy the universe.
Blackbeard as Yondu
When I say dastardly pirate, what comes to mind? If you said Assassins Creed, then you get a cookie. Black Flag has the dastardliest pirate of them all in the person of one Edward Thatch, AKA Blackbeard. Sure he hasnt set foot in space yet, but give him time. If the booty is lucrative enough, Thatchd go anywhere the Queen Annes Revenge can sail.
Visually these two might not be a match (this isnt Bluebeard were talking about), but Blackbeard is the only one I would trust in the role of untrustworthy pirate. He might even be persuaded to part with his signature beard if the price were high enough. Blackbeard isnt much of a whistler, but spending his days surrounded by sea shanties, my guess is hed be able to figure out how to wield a musically-controlled arrow in no time flat.
"What a bunch of a-holes"
So there you have it, my take on Guardians of the Galaxy recast with gaming characters. Now these certainly arent the only options out there. Blackbeard beat out Genie from Kingdom Hearts by a hair. After all, thats the brilliant thing about alternate universes: Everyones right. So heres your chance to be right. Let me know what choices you would make for these match-ups in the comments. Who knows? Maybe there is a fan artist out there just waiting for your inspiration.
If you thirst for more comic book knowledge, check out our a guide to all the upcoming comic book movies and our guide to the biggest non-games news from Comic-Con 2014.
