God of War III's sex minigame revealed!

Sex minigames have become a sort of tradition in God of War games; ever since Kratos's infamous encounter with two women in the first game, it's become expected, even mandatory, that he get it on with at least two chicks in every game he stars in. For a little while, though, it looked as though God of War III was going to do away with the concept entirely – and as we played through the game for our review with no simulated offscreen sex in sight, our fears grew that maybe it had.

Luckily, we were wrong. While it happens late in the game, God of War III features not only a button-mashing sex minigame, but one starring no less notable a figure than Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love.

Above: Interestingly, her husband's practically in the next room the whole time

Better still, while previous sex scenes took your eyes off the action to focus on a rocking vase...

Or a peeing statue...

Or a faintly suggestive candlestick...

God of War III lets you watch Aphrodite's half-naked handmaidens as they gaze longingly (and more than a little melodramatically) at their mistress and Kratos doing things the ESRB thinks are best left to the imagination.

Above: Videogame softcore at its finest!

Although we can't embed the uncensored videos in our own player due to various policies too boring to describe here, GameTrailers is under no such restrictions. To see the very NSFW action for yourself, check out the video below:

And if you're curious to see what happens when Kratos fails to please Aphrodite, here's the anticlimax in all its anti-glory:

Mar 9, 2010

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  • DragonSlayer01 - June 4, 2011 9:28 a.m.

    And to think thats his sister.......incest is best keep it in the family!
  • jackthemenace - March 14, 2010 12:37 p.m.

    ha, the handmaidens made me almost piss myself when she just like "screw it, i wanna do it too"
  • WrathLord03 - March 11, 2010 6:01 a.m.

    Now that they've made three games with it, there's no escaping the sex minigame now, Santa Monica! Even if Stig had made the (wise) decision to cut it, I still would have bought it. Clearly, anyone who buys GOW for this scene hasn't heard of porn. ReCAPTCHA: rounded urban - if only it was turban...(not a rascist comment, btw!)
  • Hurricrane - March 11, 2010 2:11 a.m.

    *jazz hands* Subtlety!
  • realybored666 - March 10, 2010 11:39 p.m.

    if mass effect created the "sex-box" what is this gonna create? The "Fuckstation 3"?
  • philipshaw - March 10, 2010 11:23 p.m.

    It won't be GOW without it lol
  • autoslizer - March 10, 2010 11:02 p.m.

    Actually Aphrodite WAS the goddess of both love and sex. She fucked up pretty much though and caused the trojan war. Pun intended.
  • Gameguy94 - March 10, 2010 10:56 p.m.

    What's funnier, the video or some of the comments below?
  • AnonymouZ - March 10, 2010 8:23 p.m.

    tits! in all seriouness tho... ... TITS!~ as if the violent crowd needed something MORE to entice a buy. lul
  • fattoler - March 10, 2010 4:59 p.m.

  • Stabby_Joe - March 10, 2010 3:09 p.m.

    Since God of War is an extreme version of Greek Mythology, can assume that by Goddess of "Love", they simply mean "love-making"... or just plain sex?
  • american101 - March 10, 2010 1:21 p.m.

    for all I know, he is having fun just without touching.
  • Ranger313 - March 10, 2010 4:09 a.m.

    Fox News is going to have a field day cant wait to see that.
  • QWERTYCommander - March 10, 2010 1:19 a.m.

    I just realized that I'm watching this on my laptop in church. I'm naughty. reCAP: are plugging Apparently, the reCAPTCHA is even naughtier.
  • sleepy92ismypsn - March 10, 2010 12:38 a.m.

    oh GR you guys are so late i already wacked o.. i mean watched for the pleasure of my eyeballs yesterday ONLY ON PLAYSTATION
  • nik41507 - March 10, 2010 12:16 a.m.

    If it is so good looking, just imagine....................
  • Metroidhunter32 - March 9, 2010 11:51 p.m.

    How blatently obvious is it that the handmaidens are lesbians? New contender for weirdest ReCaptcha ever: ambushed goverment
  • Cyberninja - March 9, 2010 10:53 p.m.

    wow atleast they didnt have to censor much i guess
  • GodofPS314 - March 9, 2010 10:52 p.m.

    What if Kratos blew his load too hard? Would that hurt her?
  • ryno - March 9, 2010 10:11 p.m.

    i just gooed in my pants