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Disabled but deadly: Gaming’s physically challenged killers

They may have lost limbs, but they never lost their love for murder

In a medium full of perfect teeth, washboard stomachs and breasts that have their own gravitational pull, it’s rare to see characters with disabilities. But they do exist… and they’ve done some badass things. Be it killing gods, eating hardened soldiers or even creating the Nintendo universe; being physically challenged never got in the way of this bunch’s fun.


The End


Disabled and deadly in: Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater

Known as ‘the father of modern sniping’, Big Boss’ ancient rifle-toting nemesis is infirm, but constantly formidable. As much Chrysanthemum as killer (he can photosynthesize when his strength gets sapped), The End is still struck with a variety of health problems. When he’s not entered into life or death sniper duels, the century old OAP is confined to a wheel chair. This is because he also suffers from Narcolepsy (he keeps falling asleep at a moment’s notice).

If enforced trips to the Land of Nod and a decrepit, moss-infested body weren’t enough, the lethal senior citizen is also plagued with peeper problems. Being able to detach his retinas actually helps him, though, and it’s one of the main factors behind his sharp-shooting prowess. Physically challenged or not, The End is the last pensioner you want to cross as Snake Eater’s heart in mouth, hour long battle with him attests.


Jasper Guns


Disabled and deadly in: House of the Dead: Overkill

‘A brilliant mind with a broken body’, that’s how Sega sum up Overkill’s paraplegic hard man. Somewhere between Stephen Hawking and Frankenstein’s monster, Guns is fiercely devoted to the sister who raised him and will do anything to protect her. So much so, he overdoses on experimental medication to kill Papa Caesar, a maniacal pantomime villain who’s threatening her.

Having to use an electronic voice box and living with paralysis are tragic. Purposely mutating into a levitating monstrosity (with fingers that make Freddy Krueger’s digits look about as threatening as plastic cutlery) is worse than Bambi’s mum biting it. Don’t feel sorry for him, though. In his mutated form Guns could rip out Agent Washington’s motherf**king larynx in a motherf**king millisecond.


Hyakkimaru


Deadly and disabled in: Blood Will Tell

Some babies have it tough. Take the Penguin from Batman. Left in a basket with the morning paper and a bottle of milk, the poor bambino was born half flightless fish-muncher and worse, half Danny DeVito. Still, his hard luck story ain’t got nothing on Hyakkimaru’s. You think being half Arctic bird is bad? Try having all your organs and flesh removed by demons, before all your limbs are replaced by elaborate weapons of death.


Above: Hyakkimaru’s father made a pact for power with the demon gods
and his son paid for it with his eyeballs and other assorted parts

While most kids pray for new toys or games, baby Hyakkimaru was wishing for a new spleen and vocal chords. Thankfully, his friendly neighbourhood physician builds him fake body parts to get him through his terrible twos and beyond. Hyakkimaru even gets the chance to become a real boy throughout Blood Will Tell. And, instead of rewarding him with power ups, the game gives Hyakkimaru bits of his original body every time he kills one of 48 demon gods.

Related

Platforms:

Xbox 360, PS3, PS2, PC, Wii, GameCube

66 comments

  • MailMan - August 11, 2009 10:41 a.m.

    As family guy once showed us, you don't wanna mess with the cripples... ReCaptcha: radio agonizing obviously not a fan of the aural medium XD
  • Xplosive59 - August 11, 2009 11:40 a.m.

    doesht solid snake count on this list in mgs 4 hes 42 with the body of a 70 year old also he is infected with fox die which is kinda a disability... to people around him
  • TRAVthe3RD - August 11, 2009 1:34 p.m.

    no mention of bently from sly cooper??
  • killerwhalen - August 11, 2009 1:44 p.m.

    The End ftw! Old, crippled, and tough as nails!
  • Cornsplosion - August 11, 2009 1:55 p.m.

    Great article. I loled at "Tickle midgets stuck in trees." XD
  • FreekinIdiot - August 11, 2009 4:06 p.m.

    Berserkers are sexy, so misunderstood....
  • jar-head - August 11, 2009 4:27 p.m.

    page 2 theres a chick....squatting?
  • FETALJUICE - August 11, 2009 6:14 p.m.

    Master Hand FTW!!
  • adadadad - August 11, 2009 7:55 p.m.

    SECOND! YESSS! May GET SCARED TOO POFESSORCHOAS. MAY SCARED OF RROD ON MAY XBOX. (MAY DONT LIKE TO TALK AB IT SHHH)
  • Amnesiac - August 11, 2009 9:11 p.m.

    What, no Baiken from Guilty Gear? Awww...
  • adadadad - August 11, 2009 9:50 p.m.

    LOVINGMAYPS-CRAP! HOW DARE ONE AQUUSE MAY OF FAIL WHEN YOU LUV THE PS-CRAP?! YOU WANT THE /FAIL? LOOK IN THE MIRROR HAHA /OWNED
  • Yeager1122 - August 11, 2009 10:10 p.m.

    Beserkers should have been in Gears of War 2.
  • RoflGamer - August 11, 2009 10:47 p.m.

    run for your lives attack of the cripples
  • HungryBeaver - August 11, 2009 11:55 p.m.

    Haha.. Master Hand. I hate him. Him and his stupid missiles that shoot from his fingertips.
  • adadadad - August 11, 2009 11:58 p.m.

    MAY LIKE MAY XBOX 360 IT BETTER THAN PS-CRAP. /WIN. CACE CLOSE.
  • Blake1209 - August 12, 2009 1:17 a.m.

    Holy crip, look at all the crapples! Or... wait, yeah I screwed that up.
  • Rhesus - August 12, 2009 2 a.m.

    I'd make a Ray game just so he could be on this Top 7...
  • Defguru7777 - August 12, 2009 2:32 a.m.

    There was a funny line in the Gears of War book, Aspho Fields, where Colonel Hoffman speculated that the Locust breed by rape. Think, Berserkers are the females in the race. Would they willingly do the horizontal monster mash (which is a surprisingly accurate statement)?
  • Pelico - August 12, 2009 3:24 a.m.

    WHY THE FUCK ISN'T MUGGSHOT ON THERE!?!?! THIS IS THE BIGGEST OUTRAGE SINCE SEGREGATION ENDED!!!!

Showing 1-20 of 66 comments

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