Crazy ass rom hacks

Gay Robocop, naked Mario and several other homebrewed oddities that might be illegal

DEPARTURES

Just as games allowplayers to do the impossible, rom hacking lets fans give their favorite anything a shot at a starring role. Through the magic of pixel-pilfering, these classic characters get to walk a very crude mile in another man’s shitty shoes.

Riddler’s Escape From Arkham
Hack of: Mega Man 3

Other than a change to the bosses, you’ll find the nearly every damned level and enemy design is exactly the same as Mega Man 3. Don’t look for some 8-bit Gotham City masterpiece. Although, when compared to the Dark Knight’s other games, Riddler’s Escape from Arkham could very well be the third-best Batman game ever made. But that’s not saying much. Mega Man 3’s only paletteswap away from being the best Superman, Barbie or Hitler game ever, as well.


Above: How could we forget Poison Man?

Pac Gentlemen
Hack of: Ms. Pac-Man

Lovingly inspired byDoctor A’s saloon-era salute toold worldgaming, this hack of Ms. Pac-Man substitutesthe prissy bow for a manly bowler hat. And that’s to say nothing of the generous mustaches and 19th century speak! Sadly, Pac-Gentlemen would perish during the Great California Power Pellet Rush of 1885, leaving Pac-Marm and Pac-Lad widowed and without spin-off.

Wilford Brimley Battle
Hack of: River City Ransom

The charismatic, oatmeal-shilling man-walrus we all loved from Cocoon and The Thing has made quite a name for himself in the land of Romhackia. But Wilford Brimley Battle was the first, and therebybest Brimley-fication by sheer and utter default. Outside of an unseemly amount of oatmeal references, it’s still a largely playable version of River City Ransom. Though most will take issue with the criminally underrepresented magnificence of Brimley’s mustache.


He-Man
Hack of: Kung-Fu

These two '80’s firebrands have more in common than just hyphens. Neither has aged well over the past two decades, so as expected, their unholy marriage produces five level litterof boring offspring. We’d like heap tons of shit on the graphics, featuring blocky versions of Two Bad, Rattler, and possibly Mosquitor, butwe would’ve found them perfectly acceptable at the time. It’s also fairly accurate: Just as in the show, He-Man never uses his sword on anybody.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

I LIKE TO MAKE THE GAMESRAIDER!!!!!!!1

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