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9 half-assed game character designs

That'll do game designer, that'll do

Words: on July 9, 2010
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66 comments

  • ZenPhoenix - July 9, 2010 10:21 p.m.

    It would seem that many developers think the world is only made up of generic-looking intelligent women and gravelly-voiced, brooding jocks. How boring it would all be if that were true. You'd think as technology increased, they might be more inspired to truly craft unique characters along with their stories, but, alas, that seems too much to ask for. At least there are a few standouts, which provides some hope.

  • Gene - July 9, 2010 10:03 p.m.

    @Nighthawk205 Miranda was a terrible character. In a game full of excellent, well-though-out characters (unlike Mass Effect 1, which was terrible in every way), Miranda stuck out like a sore thumb. The lazy 'strong-female-with-troubled-past-and-irritating-full-of-herself-attitude' archetype was stretched to damn near breaking point. The fact that her arse was probably the finest piece of body modelling I've seen on any character ever just added insult to injury: BioWare spent so long zooming in on her crotch that they completely forgot and/or didn't care about making her likeable in any way. Stick her on this list. She'd suit it.

  • Clovin64 - July 9, 2010 9:34 p.m.

    I dont own any of these games. Maybe I've been buying my games based only on how well designed the characters are? I always thought Nathan Drake was a half-assed design, but his lovable personality makes up for it surely? P.S. I wish I could draw a crappy pink circle with a face and make millions off it.

  • JamesT - July 9, 2010 9:02 p.m.

    Kirby's design is perfect. Your opinion is terrible and you should feel terrible for having it.

  • TrigunGunner - July 9, 2010 7:23 p.m.

    @oufour, I completely agree. the article seems uneccessarily harsh and I may have enjoyed it if there was some rephrasing in areas

  • Vitoruss1 - July 9, 2010 7:08 p.m.

    I'm not a fan of Starkiller's face/hair, either, but I think that evil suit is pretty fricking hardcore amazing, actually. It's canon with what Sith should look like. Same material as vader, boi.

  • Vitoruss1 - July 9, 2010 7:04 p.m.

    That picture of the updated Cole McGrath looks a lot like a young Sam Fisher. (Infamous is a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad game, btw)

  • JoeMasturbaby - July 9, 2010 7:01 p.m.

    kirby was the original circle, other devs just copied it!

  • crumbdunky - July 9, 2010 6:58 p.m.

    I don't get it. Do you PREFER new Cole to old Cole? You prefer the one modelled on an "extreme" sports star? Modelled on being a bit more "street"? That grew generic tatts and stole Nate Drake's hair and threw away the smokers rasp for 12 year old's Emo whine? And all after, whether you like him or not, most who played inFAMOUS actually grew to like Cole and we expected him back and not some totally new guy-it's the only thing wrong, so far, with inFAMOUS 2! Otherwise I'm entirely with you-except maybe Kirby as design times were different back then, weren't they and he plays as the looks so that's fine, no? But the chimp in SMG2 was just risable on every level because he's entirely cheap and seemingly drawn up by a six year old in 1982. Maybe even me.

  • LBD_Nytetrayn - July 9, 2010 6:46 p.m.

    The Kirby one is pretty much dead-on, as metroid2099400 pointed out. Pity the article doesn't specify as much. As for Piantas? My best guess is that they were inspired by the Goons from Popeye, which makes sense; Donkey Kong was going to be a Popeye game when Nintendo tried and failed to acquire the rights, thus resulting in the creation of Mario.

  • D0CCON - July 9, 2010 6:37 p.m.

    JET BRODY FOR THE LOSE!!! I actually found the piantas not awful. They were fun to spray with water and there was something about them that made me not hate them. Of course, SMS was my first console game ever, so I never would have noticed them not fitting in with the canon or not being the best designed things.

  • BleedingHatMcGillicutty - July 9, 2010 6:11 p.m.

    Great article! The sad thing, though, is that the Piantas also made an appearance in Mario Galaxy 2.

  • BearXIII - July 9, 2010 5:54 p.m.

    The Starkiller stab was completly B/S. Read up on it, he isnt "designed" its an exact facial capture of Sam Witwer, the actor behind the voice...god a site like GR should know better. Trolls

  • ObliqueZombie - July 9, 2010 5:44 p.m.

    I don't think it very fair to poke fun of Kirby. Not only is he old, but who else would think of a round pink puffball with subby arms and pretty big feet? And look at that face... you can't possibly insult that. Kirby is no more generic than Donkey Kong. All HE is a gorilla with an emotional face. I think "half-assed" characters are the ones that steal from others (read as: most of these characters on the list).

  • metroid2099400 - July 9, 2010 5:40 p.m.

    Kirby's design was actually meant to be a placeholder in his first game. He was a simplistic design that was inserted during the game's development, and set to be replaced with another character later on. However, the game's creator eventually grew to like the little placeholder, and he became the pink balloon we all know and love.

  • CatrParrot - July 9, 2010 4:52 p.m.

    I'm amazed by how many lazily designed game characters there are nowadays. Fucking pathetic. And doesn't Cole look a little bit like Nathan Drake in that screenshot from inFamous 2?

  • Defguru7777 - July 9, 2010 4:52 p.m.

    Sorry for the double post, but I just thought of something. I always thought Frank West from Dead Rising was kinda half-assed. They definitely took the character design in a better direction with Chuck Greene in Dead Rising 2.

  • Defguru7777 - July 9, 2010 4:50 p.m.

    Don't really have an opinion on most of these. Good read though. (and for the record, I liked Super Mario Sunshine).

  • Wolverine08 - July 9, 2010 4:02 p.m.

    Oh dear, I bet the designers of those characters spent ages with their limited imaginations coming up with them. After reading all this they'll most probably shoot their selves. If they can ,that is, think of doing that..

  • MrDuracraft - July 9, 2010 3:41 p.m.

    @HotCyder HOLY SHI-*head explodes*

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