8 officially licensed WTF?! products

We show you batshit-insane merchandise to market the most popular games

Words: on January 23, 2008
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It’s natural for videogame companies to get a little marketing-happy. Hell, if we had a popular franchise, we’d whore it out as much as we could too. (By the way, make sure to check out GamesRadar for all your gaming-related needs!) Anyway, we’ve stumbled upon so much dreadful, officially licensed merchandise over the years, we couldn’t help but laugh at how poorly they portrayed the games they were based on. Get ready to bask your eyes in the most confusing products that ever marketed a game.



Image courtesy of www.themushroomkingdom.net

Nintendo Cereal System

What is this crap?

A diabetes-trap starring two of your favorite NES franchises - Super Mario Bros. and The Legend of Zelda - each with their own cereal, in one funderful box of sugar.

WTF?

Even with cereal-specific shapes like Goombas and Heart Pieces, the marketing geniuses at Ralston Cereals (now known for producing dog food) distinguish the two incredibly different flavors as “fruity” and “berry” - which is kinda like saying “food group” and “part of food group.” We never thought that a balanced breakfast would perfectly embody the spirit of Mario’s platforming and Link’s quest for the master sword - but yup, it’s true. Consuming cereal is totally like playing your NES. Now finish eating your billboard, kids.

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Platforms:

Xbox 360, PS3, PS2, Wii, PC, PSP, DS, Xbox, GameCube

20 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
  • yoshilover1

    yoshilover1  - 9 months ago  - Report

    second!
    Reply
  • Halloffamer

    Halloffamer  - 2 years, 3 months ago  - Report

    Wat is up with the sonic helmet he runs faster then anyone can ride a bike and he didnt wear a helment
    Reply
  • AA95mp

    AA95mp  - 2 years, 5 months ago  - Report

    that hentai is disturbing. and lol at gaypenguinmans comment.
    Reply
  • egregious

    egregious  - 2 years, 6 months ago  - Report

    I had a Sonic the Hedgehog helmet. :( I make no apologies!
    Reply
  • Hellwilder

    Hellwilder  - 2 years, 8 months ago  - Report

    lol at Hentai xD
    I mean, those are things only disturbed minds draw :S
    Reply
  • thephntm

    thephntm  - 3 years, 1 month ago  - Report

    lol hentai is for hornys
    Reply
  • smellypeanut

    smellypeanut  - 3 years, 1 month ago  - Report

    Oh come on guys, like you've never masturbated to dojinshi before.
    Reply
  • EvilInkarnate

    EvilInkarnate  - 3 years, 1 month ago  - Report

    Wow!! The Japanese truly terrify me. Between game hentai and the creepy pillow, the Pikachu car that reminds me of Ren with a cranked up Happy Helmet on, I hope to never go to Japan. The Mario cup though...?? ::shudders::
    Reply
  • dynomit272

    dynomit272  - 3 years, 1 month ago  - Report

    want the pikachu car!
    want the pokémon cereal!
    both must be awesome
    Reply
  • SkullSplitter

    SkullSplitter  - 3 years, 1 month ago  - Report

    Hey, who wouldn't want Pikachu car? LOL
    Reply
  • CashWheel

    CashWheel  - 3 years, 1 month ago  - Report

    First!
    Reply
  • comm22

    comm22  - 2 years, 5 months ago  - Report

    i fucking love living in japan. theres a car dealership down the street that sells the pickachcu car and there are 2 different pokemon airplanes here too lol
    Reply
  • Gaypenguinman

    Gaypenguinman  - 2 years, 6 months ago  - Report

    The last thing i would ever expect is a drive-by from a pikachu car.
    Reply
  • uz_mike222

    uz_mike222  - 2 years, 6 months ago  - Report

    i agree with you entirely on both things ranzatsu, its basically get bitched slapped by a dog. its creepy and humiliating at the same time. but i will give the Japanese one thing: Godzilla.
    Reply
  • ranzatsu

    ranzatsu  - 2 years, 6 months ago  - Report

    Japanese people creep me out. Someone I know read one of those doujinshi of Tifa and Aerith making out and to add up the horror, Cloud was watching. Freaky, huh?

    And the Tetris board should be given to retards, not actual human society. No offense.
    Reply
  • Squall5005

    Squall5005  - 2 years, 9 months ago  - Report

    I know this is an old article but it annoys me that you have slated the Tetris board game.

    If you had done your research you would know that it was a board game that inspired Tetris, not the other way around.

    The game was is called 'Pentomino' and the idea of the game is to fill the given field without leaving any gaps or spaces.

    Alexey Pazhitnov was inspired by 'Pentomino' and eventually created out beloved 'Tetris'

    So Tetris is infact the Anti-Pentomino.

    I do love Tetris and I still play it to this day. But the fact that you seem to be so angry about this board game would make me think you too are a big tetris fan. But your limited knowledge suggests otherwise.

    I do agree that this would make an terrible birthday present.
    Reply
  • SheetSandwich

    SheetSandwich  - 3 years, 1 month ago  - Report

    The Japenese are sick, psycotic, sexualy repressed freaks. It's a generalization, but it stands true in this case.
    Reply
  • thatonekid1995

    thatonekid1995  - 3 years, 1 month ago  - Report

    The first 7 pages were alright but then page 8 was extremely uncomfortable especially when being observed with your younger brother at side
    Reply
  • norcemastero

    norcemastero  - 3 years, 1 month ago  - Report

    i'd like to snag a copy or to of that doujinshi
    Reply
  • Catherine

    Catherine  - 3 years, 1 month ago  - Report

    There was some better Nintendo cereal. It was Pokemon cereal. It had marshmallows!
    Reply
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