Google+

61 terrible videogame shirts you must never wear

Now, I’ve never claimed to be fashionable. In fact, were you to ask my oldest friends, they’d say I seem to be making a real effort to look as close to my 14-year-old self as possible. And were you to look in my closet, you would find at least 16 Mario shirts on top of all the other gaming and comic book-related ones. So in the case of a fashion article, I’m perhaps the last person you want to look to:


Above: Fashion icon 

But in the realm of videogame t-shirts, you should trust me above all others, as I’ve probably spent more on gaming shirts in the last three years than you have on Wii games. But I don’t just buy any old shirt; no, I have very discerning eye for this type of thing, one honed by years of practice and hundreds of dollars. Now I’m going to share some of that knowledge with you, via this collection of gaming shirts that you simply must never wear. If you currently do wear any of these, please take them off. You look like an asshole wearing them.


Words on a shirt get old very fast

One of the first rules of game shirts is, with virtually no exception, never, ever have words on your shirt. It’s allowed for the logo of the game it represents, or if the shirt is of a direct screen pull from the game and said screen only has the words that were there to begin with. Outside of that, all words are verboten. If you want a funny shirt, the image itself should be good enough to get a chuckle. If it needs words to further explain why something is funny, then the joke wasn’t that good to begin with, and will get old to your pals even faster.

See those shitty puns and plays on common sayings above? Even if those are maybe funny once, imagine seeing that once a week for months, either at school or in the office. The joke has long since passed, and now the wearer looks like a hacky comedian who tells the same joke every time you see him. And with several of those shirts above, wouldn’t they be a better expression of love for a specific game if it were just the image?


Don’t wear something that uses the same tired joke

Even if something is funny the first time, it gets increasingly old the more times you see it. And that’s even more true for jokes that show up on multiple shirts, like the following:


Above: This is how people roll... their eyes... AT YOU

These compound the problem of the previous section. Not only are these shirts covered in dopey puns that only get lamer with time, but now people will have seen that saying on so many other shirts, the “joke” won’t even work the first time you wear it. The pun has already been used, recycled and ripped-off to the point of irrelevance.

102 comments

  • SwampRock - June 5, 2010 9:41 p.m.

    Oh man theres this shirt with a big daddy coming out of the ocean doing a shocker, and below it says bioshocker. does it make me a bad person for wanting it?
  • k-bloodpain - June 1, 2010 3:59 a.m.

    Any shirt with sonic the hedgehog on it is awlsome!!! NOT STUPIT!!:P
  • SeekerofSith - May 17, 2010 8:27 p.m.

    Blow me.....I don't get it.
  • AuthorityFigure - May 16, 2010 11:38 a.m.

    Enthusiasm transforms into embarassment easily if you're not careful.
  • jackthemenace - May 16, 2010 9:58 a.m.

    damn, i actually have one of those "nintendo rehab" shirts ¬___¬
  • likedamaster - May 15, 2010 2:05 p.m.

    It's the catch-phrases that make these t-shirts so bad. I would wear them otherwise.
  • KaiokenKid - May 13, 2010 4:31 a.m.

    The game shirts I own really only have the name of the game and a picture of it. I do have a Gear of War T-Shirt that has the Seriously achievment picture with the owrds Acheivment Unlocked over the title Gears of War. i also have a Halo 3 shirt that has the 3 logo with the phrase "finish the fight" on the back. So I really think those are OK, but im not sure. havent got any complaints yet. im eyeing a Castlevania SOTN T-Shirt I saw at hot Topic, which is where I get most of my shirts for some reason.
  • Bobbety - May 12, 2010 5:37 a.m.

    I just about bought that "I'd hit that" shirt a few days ago. Now that I think about it, it really is a incredibly stupid shirt. PS-Thanks for making sure I never buy a video game shirt Henry.
  • crisdace - May 12, 2010 2:49 a.m.

    Ummmmmmm, I'm ..... speechless?
  • jesseo - May 12, 2010 1:03 a.m.

    I can't believe that not only the author of this article referenced Nick Cage's The Wicker Man as something someone should watch and/or quote, but that one of the posts actually said it was, "pretty good." That movie was horrible and to call it horrible insults all other movies in that catagory. I don't know how the original was but the new one should never have existed, ever.
  • teke367 - May 11, 2010 4:55 p.m.

    I have a friend who has a shirt that says "up, up, down, down.." etc, I liked that one, but I wouldn't go out of my way to get one. If I happened to be in a store and saw it, then perhaps. Even then, its not something I could wear to work, so it'd be worn mostly at home anyway.
  • Apollomon - May 11, 2010 10:36 a.m.

    1. I dont actually understand cowbell hero? am i missing something 2. Mii love you long time? Seriously...that has to be the worst shirt EVER 3. actually i have never seen people wearing the blow me t-shirt...wonder why lol 4. None of my t-shirts are in the list, i have too much style...one of my fav t-shirts is my "home-schooled" one with NES cartridges on, love it!...admitedly i do own a Nintendogs t-shirt from the nintendo site using my points (my mates dont appreciate when i wear that)...my girlfriends a geek anyway and loves when im geeky- so score! :D
  • deanwalton - May 11, 2010 10:25 a.m.

    These t-shirts sure do suck! Most of them are really lazy too! The only good video game t-shirts out there are on Gamer Print: http://www.gamerprint.co.uk I f*#@ing love the Welcome to Rapture one!
  • Hellwilder - May 10, 2010 9:47 p.m.

    Let's accept it: Video Game shirts with any kind of joke are lame. If somebody thinks he is cool when he's wearing one of those; he fails at life
  • avantguardian - May 10, 2010 9:31 a.m.

    i don't know...the chillin like a villain one is so right/wrong it almost tears a hole through time and space...
  • theschwartzb - May 10, 2010 8:06 a.m.

    You know what T-Shirt you should also never wear but isn't video game related? The Vote for Pedro T-Shirt. That movie sucked donkey sack and anything based off of it sucks just as hard.
  • outuendo - May 10, 2010 4:29 a.m.

    I am ashamed to admit i do have one of the 61 shirts shown here. I have the Mega Man Scarface one. I still wear it because it's incredibly comfortable and it's the only Mega Man shirt I can find. Don't smite me?
  • Catalyst - May 10, 2010 4:03 a.m.

    This...this is why you don't buy "gaming" shirts at freakin' Hot Topic
  • sazzrah - May 10, 2010 2:40 a.m.

    I'm the proud owner of this t-shirt: http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1294/1152480488_7ba5afb6d6.jpg I know its uber nerdy and to many will be lame, and to many more will be unintelligible - but to me it's awesomesauce!

Showing 1-20 of 102 comments

Join the Discussion
Add a comment (HTML tags are not allowed.)
Characters remaining: 5000