" This job would be great if it wasn't for the f***ing customers." - Randal Graves
Not too long ago GR threw a big ol' pillow fight we called The Week of Hate. We got a lot of crap off our chest, and the internet rejoiced in the only way it knows how: with an amusingly disproportionate amount of resentment. And that’s beautiful! We’re all about venting here. It’s extremely therapeutic.
So, when the employees of an actual Minnesota game store sent us a list of the 50 things they hate about their customers, we couldn't help but chuckle in absolute agreement. Our office contains more than a few veterans of retail, so we can confirm that, yes, a lot of you stroll into your local GameStops, Game Crazys and EBs completely unaware of how much of an obnoxious ass you are.
Consumers: The time has come to educate yourself! Because for most of you, it’s not a question of which number below represents you - it's how many.
1. Moms who get upset that we won't sell them Halo for the PS2 or Mario for XBOX. We never have this problem with Dads, even non-gamer Dads...
2. People who can't read Roman numerals (not young kids, mind you, these are 20-somethings). "Final Fantasy 7 on the DS? What? Did you mean 12 or 3?"
3. Kids who shoplift Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Really? At least try to steal something good...
4. Any 15-year old who complains that it’s BS that we won't sell them an "M" game without checking ID. Yeah, 'cause the possibility of losing our jobs and the store getting fined is totally worth it so that you can go play Vampire Rain.
5. Anyone who still mispronounces "Wii."
6. People who are oblivious enough to think that they can just walk in and pick up a Sega Genesis, Chrono Trigger, and Super Mario Bros. 3 in original packaging.
7. "Moms" who think that it’s okay to leave a 7-year-old alone in a video game store while she gets her hair and nails done or goes grocery shopping.
8. Guys who buy WOW Trading Cards for the possibility of getting a new mount.
9. People who play WOW. That’s reason enough.
10. Anyone who purchased Kane & Lynch despite our adamant verbal stance that they would get more satisfaction from flushing 60 ones down the toilet.
11. That same person trying to return it hours later for a refund.
12. Our Microsoft Field Rep. who told us that the Zune was “the ipod killer.” Uh-huh.
13. Anyone so close-minded that the only “good” games are the ones that are exclusive to the console that they own. And they always only own one console.
14. Jason. You probably don’t know him, but trust us on this one.
15. Anyone who plays FPS games and doesn’t know what we’re talking about when we mention N64 GoldenEye. It makes us hate and cry a little, too.
16. Anyone who purchases an Action Replay for DS. It’s always for Pokemon.
17. Grandma who lets the kid con her into buying Manhunt 2 even though we tell her explicitly what it is and try to talk her out of it or call the parents.
18. Mom returning said Manhunt 2 the next morning and being upset with us about it.
19. Halo fanboys.
20. Halo 3 fanboys. (You know the difference.)
21. Guys who think that since you work in a video game store you must be a condescending jerk who looks down on everyone who doesn’t own a C64.
22. People who don’t comprehend that someone other than them is looking for a Wii console and that might be why they’re still sold out everywhere.
23. Customers who assume that working at a game store means that all you do is play games all day.
24. The guy who always comes in looking for the game we just sold out of.
25. The guy who tries to talk you down on the $4.99 price of a game. It’s five bucks, man...