42. As long as you are wearing at least one ring you will never die.
43. Pulling out a weapon makes you see a + sign wherever you look.
52. You know when you have won a fight when your opponent stands still, waiting for you to decapitate him.
53. Prostitutes will judge you on the fanciness of your car and give you 25% bonus health post-sex. This is only in the pre-AIDS ’80s. In 2008, you will be tsk-ed at by an Eastern European, which makes you feel sick and guilty, even though you’ve been stabbing people all day.
54. Karate and driving can both be learned in minutes simply by repeating sequential dance routines as requested by cartoon animals.
55. Wearing a pair of white gloves to work every day may seem an unwise choice if your chosen career is plumbing, but, in reality, you will never have to dirty your pristine mitts by fishing a swollen, fetid tampon from a shit-clogged outflow pipe.
56. The bodies of your murdered victims will fade and disappear if you wait for a few seconds.
57. Explosives are not stored, as you might expect, in secure containers in controlled environments, but in barrels that are littered around combat zones at random. Highly-trained evil soldiers are quite happy to engage in sustained fire-fights while standing next to them.
58. Doing athletics really hurts your wrist after a while.
59. You can’t ever trip, even when running backwards as fast as you can while firing a shotgun.
60. World War II infantry jargon included such phrases as “lol”, “n00b” and “OMG HaXXoR!!11!” Modern counter-terrorist SWAT teams use the same phrases.
61. People wink out of existence when you’re not there to see them.
