101 MORE things we've learned from games

Because gaming's got a whole lot more wisdom to go around

1. If you face in a certain direction so that there are a lot of people, objects, shiny surfaces, and/or you can see really far, time may slow down and your vision will become choppy.

2. Sometimes if you go somewhere you’re “not supposed to be” you may fall through the ground and find yourself falling through a void, with the world as you know it rapidly disappearing into the distance above.

3. Turtles and mushrooms can kill you just by touching you anywhere other than the bottom of your feet.

4. While on a date with a girl, just barely brushing a pedestrian with your car accidentally will ruin your date fast. However, the same girl will have no problem with helping you intentionally steal as many cars as you want.

5. You can only have unclothed sex after applying a patch.

6. No matter how heinous a crime you pull, even directly in front of cops, they will forget what you look like and what car you sped off in if you stay out of their sight for 20 seconds.

7. Regardless of shoe type, the soles are always so slippery that standing on any slope greater than 45 degrees will cause you to slide like an ice skater downhill.

8. Some types of molten lava will not kill you, even if you fall completely in, as long as you jump out quickly.

9. Whenever you find a valuable item lying around in a dark corner, a short musical flourish will come from nowhere. Warning: you will become addicted to that sound.

10. If you’re ever in a shootout and firing near cover, you may find that even though you have clear line-of-sight to your opponent’s head, your bullets are bouncing off some invisible force near the cover you are hiding behind. Moving sideways a few inches will alleviate the problem.

11. Reloading a gun when only one bullet has been expended won't waste the other bullets left in the clip that you have just tossed on the ground. Also, the clip casing itself will disappear the moment it leaves your hand, resulting in no messy cleanup.

12. At some unknown point in history a brilliant scientist invented indestructible glass. Not just bulletproof, but even point-blank rocket launcher proof. Also, this glass managed to replace a large portion of the world’s windows without anybody noticing or having to pay a fee for the installation.

13. Whoever came up with the Periodic Table is an idiot and a fraud. There are obviously only 4 elements.

14. It’s possible to be in full daylight outdoors without the Sun visible anywhere in the sky.

15. Even if you are an obviously experienced warrior, you’ll need someone to teach you how to jump in the air while pointing your sword downward, and another person to teach you about pointing your sword upward.

16. Every woman in the world who isn’t a one-woman super assassin army needs to be rescued.

17. Typewriters are actually temporal devices that you can return to after dying or making a mistake, as long as you type the date and time into them.

18. Shotguns will still be in common use even thousands of years into the future, despite advances in energy-weapon technology and armor plating. The reason, of course, is that shotguns are awesome.

19. If you’re a soldier in a war and you use every tactic and weapon you can to stay alive and kill the enemy, some of the people you killed will call you “cheap” from beyond the grave, possibly even haunting you with accusations of how “skill-less” you are.

20. If you’re in a martial arts tournament and are about to lose, you can quit at the last second and your opponent will be given the loss on his record. Whether your dignity remains untarnished is another matter.

21. Telekinetic aliens have a really, really hard time getting out of holes in the ground.


My new approach to play all games on Hard mode straight off the bat has proven satisfying. Sure there is some frustration, but I've decided it's the lesser of two evils when weighed against the boredom of easiness that Normal difficulty has become in the era of casual gaming.
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