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101 MORE things we've learned from games

81. Boomerangs are in fact extremely useful tools and potentially deadly weapons, and not crappy toys that fall on the ground every time you throw them.

82. Performing a stunt in the middle of a race is not a dangerous and risky display of poor sportsmanship, but in fact allows you to go even faster.

83. Cars with official corporate logos on them are indestructible...

84. …generic rip-offs, however, will smash into a crumpled wad while hitting a tree.

85. If you’re in a life-threatening situation, try focusing really hard. You may experience a slowing down of time, or possibly a nice glowing color indicating danger or safety.

86. Shooting someone in the chest at point-blank range with a semi-automatic rifle may not kill them sometimes, but smacking them with the butt of the same rifle will induce death every single time.

87. You can walk down the street with a fully automatic weapon and not even get a second glance from the police.

88. All small electronics like radios, earpieces, and cell phones will work no matter how much water you swim through. Also, all guns, medicinal herbs, alchemic powders, paper documents, and explosives are equally waterproof.

89. A night in jail is usually enough to have your trial ready the day after, and even the worst crimes generally result in a small fine.

90. Hacking into high-security areas does not require extensive training and expertise, but rather the ability to solve simple shape-sliding or color-matching puzzles.

91. If a mayor wants to demolish someone’s house to put a big statue of himself there instead, it's perfectly acceptable to do so. In fact, it will increase the mayor’s approval rating from the adjacent home-owners.

92. As long as a military general kills more of the enemy than his own troops, he is considered an unqualified success.

93. You can behave like a psychotic a-hole one moment, and then lay on the syrupy love the next, and no one will think you’re crazy, or even remember what you said ten seconds ago.

94. It is a great idea to pick up random syringes off of vending machines and inject yourself to find out what happens.

95. 95% of all doors in the world are locked or jammed shut and cannot be opened by any conventional means.

96. Every conspicuously tall building in the Middle East has a hay-cart sitting directly under it, so feel free to dive off of every one.

97. In modern warfare, the only way to win is by advancing, because the enemy will never run out of troops otherwise.

98. Have fantasies of being a police officer, ambulance driver, fireman, or cab driver? Just steal one of the appropriate vehicles. No one at dispatch will wonder why their usual driver’s voice suddenly changed.

99. If you’re ever stuck in a burning building, find something red to wear. Red clothing usually denotes some measure of heat protection.

100. Every product in the world is priced in whole dollars. Pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters do not exist.

101. Death is never permanent. Even if it were, you could always just kill him.

Jan 2, 2009


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