10 classic films that would be great games

We scour the history of cinema for unexploited gems

8. UN CHIEN ANDALOU (AN ANDALUSIAN DOG)

The film: Dali and Bunuel’s 1929 experimental short film explored surrealism’s preoccupation with sex, death and non sequitur juxtaposition. These ideas were perfectly suited to the medium of film, and the experiment was well received by the avant-garde. Somehow, it never quite clicked for mainstream audiences who were preoccupied with bourgeoisieconcepts like “plot” and “exposition.”

How to spin it into a game: Push your sanity to the limit with An Andalusian Nintendog, a madness-fueled Jungian reinterpretation of the micro-game genre made exclusively for your DS. Slice eyeballs, crush ants and decompose in real-time as you plunge into the neurotic depths of your fragmented psyche. Ceci n’est pas une jeux!

Above: Insert bad DSiWare pun

9. WAGES OF FEAR

The film: A ruthless American oil company hires four down at the heels barflies to drive two trucks full of nitroglycerin over treacherous mountain roads to the site of a massive oil fire. The physical and mental strain of the dangerous job takes its toll on the men; drama ensues.

Above: Will they survive to collect their Wages of Fear?!

How to spin it into a game: Forgetracing around some boring ass track for 500 laps, Wages of Fear: Nitro Edition provides seat-of-your-pants driving excitement as you painstakingly navigate your truck across potentially deadly terrain. One false move, and you’ll explode in a fiery ball of death! The nerve-wracking driving portions are broken up with occasional fistfights and exploration segments as you get out of the truck to look for alternate paths around obstacles.

Above: Big Mutha Truckers 2: Truck Me Harder was a near-perfect adaptaion of Wages of Fear

Already tried (but could be much better)

10. SEVEN SAMURAI

The film: Seven rogue samurai band together to protect a group of helpless farmers from a gang of rogues. Toshiro Mifune turns in the performance of a lifetime in Akira Kurosawa’s poignant, action packed epic. Like many of Kurosawa’s films, Seven Samurai was remade as a Western for American audiences (The Magnificent Seven).

Above: These samurai are hungry enough to fight in the rain

How to spin it into a game: No hover tanks, no exploding tits, no tacked-on science fiction metaverse where Templars are molesting your nucleotides. Seven Samurai is bad ass enough to just be itself. Our dream game? Seven player co-op as you strategize to defend the village from the bandit assault. Build and deploy traps and fortifications, train and command peasant units, and engage in daring night raids against the enemy forces. In Seven Samurai, there are many possible endings. Bandit tactics vary in response to your actions so it never plays the same way twice. How many samurai will survive? How many villagers can you save? Stealth, pitched battles, tactical decision making… Seven Samurai has all the trappings of an amazing action/strategy hybrid. Why would anyone pay for this amazing license and use it to crap out Seven Samurai 20XX, a lifeless Dynasty Warriors clone?

Above: No. Just, no

Above: Keepin’ it real

Next page: Bonus Round!!!

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