Worst To Best: Horror Movie Remakes
Better than the original or just sacrilege?
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The Wicker Man (2006)
The Original: Outstanding 1973 cult horror soaked in unsettling tension as a Police Sergeant in search of a missing girl comes to an isolated Summerisle and falls victim to the strange group of Pagans that inhabit the arear.
The Remake: A supposedly deliberately absurd ‘reimagining’ of the classic film that ends up being just laughable, mostly thanks to Nicolas Cage’s bizarre performance.
Most Horrific Element: Without a doubt, Cage’s reaction to wearing a helmet full of bees. Or maybe the bit where he throws an over-the-top punch at a woman dressed as a bear. No, definitely the bees thing.
The Fog (2005)
The Original: John Carpenter’s classic which sees an eerie, glowing fog roll into a small Californian town , bringing with it the vengeful spirits of dead mariners.
The Remake: A dull, insipid version of the same tale, but lacking entirely in decent scares, suspense or interesting characters.
Most Horrific Element: It’s a toss-up between the acting and the awful CGI.
April Fools Day (2008)
The Original: A mystery horror film from 1986 about nine friends who stay at a friend’s remote mansion and are apparently targeted by an unknown murderer.
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The Remake: A straight-to-DVD version billed as “ Mean Girls crossed with horror”. It fails at being either.
Most Horrific Element: How quickly you’ll be able to guess who the ‘surprise twist’ killer is.
Prom Night (2008)
The Original: A 1980 slasher film starring Leslie Nielsen and Jamie Lee Curtis about a group of high school kids who get systematically killed by an unknown murderer for their part in the accidental death of a young girl six years earlier.
The Remake: A typical, generic, run-of-the-mill retread of the same story but with extra drama, which does nothing to improve the film’s chances of being even remotely scary.
Most Horrific Element: The fact that this film is listed on Idris Elba’s CV. Poor guy.
One Missed Call (2008)
The Original: A 2003 Japanese film from Takashi Miike about students who receive a voice message from their future selves that just consists of them screaming during an apparent violent death.
The Remake: An American rehash of the same story that currently stands as one of the worst-rated films of this century thanks to awful performances and badly-executed scares.
Most Horrific Element: Probably the film’s rating on IMDB.
Black Christmas (2006)
The Original: Considered to be one of the first ever slasher flicks, this 1974 film tells the story of a sadistic killer terrorising a group of female college students.
The Remake: The same story but with a far more blood and gore than should ever be necessary over the festive period.
Most Horrific Element: An added, disturbing back story involving incest and eye-gauging. Merry Christmas everyone!
Psycho (1998)
The Original: Hitchcock's most famous film, with credit for that going to a memorably creepy mother-son relationship and a jaggedly scored shower scene.
The Remake: Gus Van Sant may have shot his version in colour and with a different cast but, otherwise, this is an experiment in remaking a film exactly, shot-for-shot.
Most Horrific Element: That lead casting. Imagine Vince Vaughn playing such a role now...
Day Of The Dead (2008)
The Original: George A. Romero’s third zombie film, released in 1985, explores the plague after the undead have taken over the world, as seen from the point of view of military officers and scientists hiding in an underground bunker.
The Remake: Not intended as a follow-up to the previous Romero remakes, this is a standalone film that borrows elements of the original version and pays homage to the film while still trying to tell a new story about surviving in a zombie apocalypse.
Most Horrific Element: The zombies are so adept in this film, they can run around, operate weapons and understand what’s going on around them. They might as well be humans.
The Haunting (1999)
The Original: Truly terrifying film released in 1963 which sees a team of paranormal investigators visit a haunted house and finding a malevolent spirit manifesting in horrific ways.
The Remake: An all-star cast doesn’t stop this from being a CGI-heavy, cliché-filled bore.
Most Horrific Element: Those visual effects really are quite shocking.
When A Stranger Calls (2006)
The Original: 1979 horror film about a psycho killer terrorising a babysitter.
The Remake: Up-to-date horror film about a psycho killer terrorising a babysitter.
There really isn’t much more to the film that that.
Most Horrific Element: The real shock of the film comes from the reveal that the killer is already in the same house as the babysitter.
So it’s a shame that this was ruined in the trailers.


