Let’s get one thing straight right from the off: I’m shit at COD. Oh sure, I’ve finished both Modern Warfares on Veteran with my sanity and personal hygiene (barely) intact. But pit me against a P90-wielding fourteen-year-old from Arkansas on the land of the interwebs and I absolutely crumble. Want further proof of my sheer shittyness? I had to knock back five cans of the strongest French lager known to man in an effort to sooth my shattered nerves during our24 hour Modern Warfare 2 marathon (opens in new tab).
Which brings me onto MAG. Normally I stay away from any online game that forces me to shoot other folk. Thanks to my stupid sausage fingers, I’m invariably always half a second too slow in pulling the trigger. Couple this with the gale force tantrums I throw when I lose and you’re probably getting why I avoid playing shooters on the net like one of those plagues that makes you piss fire before your knob drops off.