The Top 7... inanimate objects

None of the other items on this list are weapons. We wanted to avoid them as much as possible, otherwise we'd end up with a collection of "the best power-ups ever," like Quad Damage in Quake or the bat morph in Symphony of the Night. But then we remembered the bafflingly named Screw Attack, and how happy its simplistic "S" design made us each time we found it. Who wouldn't freak out about acquiring a power-up that lets you somersault through the air while encased in electricity, not to mention hover through the air indefinitely? It's not just cool to look at, either - the Screw Attack is crucial to gameplay and more importantly, a blast to use. This guy clearly loves it:

The Screw Attack earns bonus points for one more reason: it was omitted from Metroid Prime, the series' big comeback. Metroid fans had to wait 10 years, from '94 to '04 to see it brilliantly translated to 3D. Upon seeing it again, many a Metroid player simply couldn't wait to put it to use. Let us pray it never leaves us again. It just wouldn’t be a Metroid game without it. Snake needs his box, Samus needs her Screw.

Eating crow: Even though we vowed to avoid weapons, Gordon Freeman's crowbar is too iconic and beloved to ignore. Despite being the first weapon you receive, it's your only defense for some time, creating a strong bond between inanimate club and scared-shitless scientist.